potential_phd Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Everytime I feel like I have made the right decision and I am happy with it, something tells me I have screwed up. I cannot go back now and I am unsure of what to do. Does anyone else go through this? One of my current advisors has told me that once I choose an institution that I should not second-guess myself, but I still have feelings like I am making the wrong decision. I feel like I should be happy and proud of the school I am attending, and I am not. Is this a red flag?
queenleblanc Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 "To thine own self, be true" ..... This line might be cliche, but it is poignant for a time like this. You have a big choice to make. Ultimately you probably have a feeling about where you really want to go. Maybe you have a feeling about a school that would be a great choice, but you aren't as sure about. Make a list, consider all of the factors that set each school apart from the other, and figure out a way to separate your choices.. Once you do that, you will find clear bonuses and setbacks for each school. Depending on your program, you will be looking for different things- research fit, university location, course sequence, assistantship opportunity, scholarship or stipends, etc. If you have a place in mind, but feel guilty about turning another down, thinking that you might be making the wrong choice, just remember that whatever choice you do make IS THE RIGHT CHOICE. You will always look on the outside to those other opportunities and wonder, but eventually you have to find something that makes you want the school you decide to attend. Focus on those positives, and... "To thine own self, be true." Hope that helps. You will be happy and all of this will eventually fade into the distance when August comes 'round!
phmhjh85 Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 Your post doesn't provide much info regarding your decision making proces but I will answer using what you said. Nothing is irreversible about this.you can always change your mind. But is this what you really want? I think most of people here are type A personalities. We strive for perfection and challenge ourselves to the limit. Why else would anyone stand the brutal process that is grad school application.?! That is why most people doubt their decsions, thinking they could have done better. But then again , although there is no certain way you "should " feel, some excitement and motivation have to be there somewhere along with thd trepidation. Try to remember what made you take the decision to appky. How excitedyou were to be accepted. What kind of interesting and new stuff you cannot wait to learn. If there is a particular advisor or professor you cannot wait to work with.... Best of luck
rising_star Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 The quick answer to your question is no, at least not in my case.
TeaGirl Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 I was second guessing myself down to clicking that button confirming my chosen program. I was still feeling unsure. Once I declined all the other programs I suddenly felt at peace. I'm now convinced I made the right choice and I'm no longer suffering with hesitation. For me at least, what was making me hesitate wasn't that I wanted to go to the other programs, but that other really good options were present that I could pick any point. Once I closed that door, they're no longer a factor. It's a done thing. Time to enjoy not having to make the decision anymore and make the best of it.
selecttext Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 If you aren't happy you can change schools. There is no need to be fatalistic.
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