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TeaGirl

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TeaGirl last won the day on June 11 2013

TeaGirl had the most liked content!

About TeaGirl

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    Mocha

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    Northeast
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  • Program
    Mechanical Engineering (PhD)

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  1. I did this. I thought I was a special snowflake. Do NOT do this. Seriously. I don't care how awesome you think this professor might be, or how great their research is, or how smart and tough and can manage stress you think you are: If the prof is super charismatic, very successful, shows no sign of humility or respect for other people's work in the field, talks like they know everything, and if you hear that other students have left his/her group and either consider them difficult or advise against working with them then: RUN. RUN. RUN. These professors tend to be not as knowledgeable as they
  2. I think you just made me wake up my roommate with my unladylike bark of laughter. Oh dear. I'm not proud to admit that I do this sometimes. Not act on it, but at first impression I become intimidated by very well dressed sexy women and imagine them as mean or not nice. I learned to keep a tight lid on my reaction though, and luckily enough, one of these women ended becoming one of my best friends.
  3. Wow, my real answer is pretty simple. I failed at a lot of other paths I tried. I realized I was good at this research thing and I really needed a big change in my life. So here I am giving this my best shot. All the other reasons about career and research goals came after as support, but not what initially pushed me into this.
  4. Oh man, I've made so many profiles on different sites I get invited to I don't even know anymore, haha. I did go through most once by googling myself and trying to remove unused ones and updating most. I try to keep the academia.edu one and LinkedIn updated on a regular basis though
  5. I'm really sorry if I gave that impression. I quoted you to answer your question, but that bit at the end wasn't attacking you personally, I was just expressing my frustration. I felt like every time I made a statement, the response (not from you personally, but overall) was to brush it aside either as insignificant statistically, or as me somehow not recognizing my situation, when this thread was asking about personal experiences not statistical averages. It's possible I'm looking at/understanding this all wrong and got a little caught up, and if so I apologize . Again, that particu
  6. Well, it's one thing when someone is curious and asking for extra details, and another when the tone is accusatory and insisting I'm wrong till proven otherwise. I did want to talk about the studies that were posted though. I keep wondering about the difference in pay/promotion and whether it's the system that is responsible for it by actively denying higher pay or promotions, or whether women aren't negotiating. We have a faculty/grad student women's group organized by our female faculty members that meets up a few times per semester and discusses women's issues that are relevant to o
  7. Look, I get what you're saying. I agree with you on the statistics. However, keep in mind that statistics are an average. That means you'll have cases on both end of the spectrum. My personal experience doesn't negate the experience of thousands of women, but neither does theirs negate mine. 1) I figure you're just using my example as a general point. In my personal example, I figured that out by by seeing them objectively do better in exams and manage more difficult projects than what I could do. I don't suffer from false humility, but I give credit where credit is due. 2) I never sai
  8. Do you happen to have the source for that? I'm interested in reading that study. Also, just as a note, I'm not saying I've never experienced gender discrimination in my life, because I have. I faced a lot of that applying to the job market, especially outside the U.S., and in other areas as well. I was just responding to the question which asked about discrimination specifically in the academic/grad school setting.
  9. To be perfectly clear, I was never discriminated against academically and I was never "hiding" anything. I've never felt the "boy's club" thing in my field whether socially or academically. Socially speaking, being a male dominated field, you will see male students hanging out in groups a lot of the time (especially when there was only 8 girls in class of 80 in my undergrad). If I'd felt intimidated by intruding on an all-male group perfectly naturally doing male-oriented activities, I might've stayed away. If I'd thought about gender discrimination a lot, I might've attributed my inabilit
  10. I just read through this entire thread and wow. I sympathize but if I were in your shoes I would've gotten a new advisor about 2-3 weeks in. I know we're on a PhD forum, but I don't think it's acceptable that working on weekends is taken for granted even if we do pull an all-nighter or work the odd weekend when there's a deadline. You're a human being with rights and not a slave. Personality clashes are one thing but it's another when she asks you to work every single weekend when you've already put in all your weekdays, let alone telling you that you shouldn't be sleeping. What kind of person
  11. Okay, a couple of thoughts. You need to talk with you research professor/advisor/ whoever is conducting this whole thing. Make it absolutely clear that since you would like to set up regular meeting, perhaps on a biweekly basis to discuss progress in the project and communicate. If you don't set up regular meetings with your professor, I can assure you these problems will not go away. The colleague who is talking about you behind your back: Avoid her completely if possible. Do the bare minimum interaction with her and do not "chit chat" or "socialize." I've dealt with similar people be
  12. I'm in a pretty male dominated field (mech engineering) but I can't say I've ever felt any sort of gender discrimination at all in grad school, or in undergrad for that matter. I work hard because I want to do well and want to work hard, but I don't feel I'm working any harder than my male colleagues for the same amount of recognition or feedback from my advisors/professors. When I do work harder, it's obvious in my work output and my advisor recognizes the effort. Disclaimer: It's all about results though. You can work as hard you want, if nothing substantial comes out of it, you're not g
  13. Something something about hills and valleys. I started off great, now I'm just starting to feel burnt out. I'm having the opposite experience. My Masters was a breeze. For my PhD, I felt on top of everything for the first 1-2 months of the semester, then it started snowballing. I feel like I'm constantly swimming against a tide of work with no end in site. At least not till after my quals in January. It's affecting my mood and it doesn't help that I bombed an exam, as in I think I was in the bottom couple of grades in class (my fault) because I prioritized a million other things I
  14. I'm pretty happy with how things are going. I'm getting very busy with courses/TA/research but I'm enjoying it, yet still having time to do other fun stuff on the weekend. I try to get ahead with work whenever I have free time so I can go out later in the week. My advisor seems pretty great. I did go through the impostor syndrome about 2 weeks in. However, after getting some work done for my advisor and another professor, and receiving an "impressive" comment from both on it, I felt like I belonged I was worried my introverted-ness might make it hard to make new friends, but I underestima
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