Older students?

[justanotherlostgrrl]

On 3/5/2016 at 9:17 PM, marycaryne said:

I didn't say that my family life is the only life, although as a mother, it does have a higher priority in my life than making sure I hit the bars with those 15 years younger than me. Know what I mean? I'm not saying I don't associate with them anymore, or that we don't have common ground, or that I let it rule my interactions, or that I can't enjoy social time with anyone younger than me. I've worked with people younger than me and treat people equally, but also keep it professional at work which is different than socialization. I'm just saying my priorities and responsibilities (outside of school and work) are very different than someone over a decade younger. Basically, for myself, I just don't pretend I'm in my early 20s when I'm in my mid 30s, and do not live the same life as the someone in his early 20s. I've outgrown that age both physically and mentally. I just don't think that people should be told they're setting themselves up for failure when they realize that in many cases, there is a world of difference between being 22 and being 35.

Well said. 

Honestly, I'd love to find common ground but I don't want to do drinking based activities, and it's difficult to find anything common with some folks in my program.  Someone took off over the weekend when we were supposed to work on an assignment, and I don't see anything in common with people who prioritize taking a mini vacation to go skiing out of state.  They put more things as priorities than school, and I can't relate.  I'm not talking about legitimate explanations like work or family commitments, either.  I'm feeling exhausted by my program and questioning already why I'm doing this - and dealing with immaturity is not something I have time for. 

[Sweetpea739703]

I earned my BS in 2012, after slowly taking classes for......oh, about 10 years. I was an "older" student when I started, and definitely older when I finished, lol. But now I'm "4ever 29", so who's counting?!  As someone else also said, my 2 daughters have been witness to my college years and all of the studying, papers, deadlines, and frustration and then finally my graduation in 2012.  Getting my BS was more of a bucket list thing for me, however if I use my degree in the professional world one day, that would be awesome. I've been a stay at home mom for 13+ years (one is 18 and a college freshman, one is 12 and in 7th grade) and I wouldn't trade it for the world! I decided to apply for grad programs, mainly, for 2 reasons - it's another bucket list thing and it's nice to have the military pay for most of it!

My oldest attends NMSU in Las Cruces, NM so, of course after applying for the MCJ program, I joked that maybe we'd have a class together. I expected the eye roll or the "omg mom!!", but she said "maybe we can graduate together!". She was serious! 

[avflinsch]

9 hours ago, Sweetpea739703 said:

I joked that maybe we'd have a class together. I expected the eye roll or the "omg mom!!", but she said "maybe we can graduate together!".

love it!

I am in a similar situation, I took a real long time to finish my undergrad - about 35 years, but I did manage to finish before my daughter. 

She started grad school a year after me, but we should both finish our master's at the same time next year - and we are already planning a big party

[reddog]

Proof that one is never too old for a PhD:

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/mar/16/french-woman-aged-91-gets-phd-after-30-years

 

Btw, I am not an older student or anything. But I saw the news article and it reminded me of this thread! So I thought I'd post it here as a nice pick-me-up or something like that.

Edited March 16, 2016 by reddog

[avflinsch]

2 hours ago, reddog said:

Proof that one is never too old for a PhD:

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/mar/16/french-woman-aged-91-gets-phd-after-30-years

 

Btw, I am not an older student or anything. But I saw the news article and it reminded me of this thread! So I thought I'd post it here as a nice pick-me-up or something like that.

I had an older guy in some the courses for my undergrad minor, he was in his early 80's and decided to go back to school because he was driving his disabled grandson to class several nights a week. He figured as long as he was going to be on campus, he would start taking classes himself.

You are never too old to learn something new.

Edited March 16, 2016 by avflinsch

[MarineBluePsy]

On 3/12/2016 at 6:02 AM, justanotherlostgrrl said:

Well said. 

Honestly, I'd love to find common ground but I don't want to do drinking based activities, and it's difficult to find anything common with some folks in my program.  Someone took off over the weekend when we were supposed to work on an assignment, and I don't see anything in common with people who prioritize taking a mini vacation to go skiing out of state.  They put more things as priorities than school, and I can't relate.  I'm not talking about legitimate explanations like work or family commitments, either.  I'm feeling exhausted by my program and questioning already why I'm doing this - and dealing with immaturity is not something I have time for. 

Yikes that sounds awful.  Is there a way to have the department address this?  I get that we all need to take a break, but it isn't ok to bail on your classmates who are counting on you to contribute to a group assignment.  Or are you allowed to kick people out of your group or work solo if they tell you to handle it on your own?

[justanotherlostgrrl]

On 3/18/2016 at 7:14 PM, MarineBluePsy said:

Yikes that sounds awful.  Is there a way to have the department address this?  I get that we all need to take a break, but it isn't ok to bail on your classmates who are counting on you to contribute to a group assignment.  Or are you allowed to kick people out of your group or work solo if they tell you to handle it on your own?

I'm not sure.  I've been very tempted to speak to the professors about this person, but suspect the professors won't be able to do anything, and I can't kick someone out or work solo, unfortunately.  It's just such a crap shoot, because some groups are fine to work with, and others are unbearable.  We'll see, I guess :/

[MarineBluePsy]

4 hours ago, justanotherlostgrrl said:

I'm not sure.  I've been very tempted to speak to the professors about this person, but suspect the professors won't be able to do anything, and I can't kick someone out or work solo, unfortunately.  It's just such a crap shoot, because some groups are fine to work with, and others are unbearable.  We'll see, I guess :/

Well does the rest of your group share your frustration with this person?  If so then I don't see anything wrong with talking with the professors as a team.  That way you don't look like one person just whining.  Though it is entirely possible they will just listen and tell you to handle it yourselves.

[justanotherlostgrrl]

16 hours ago, MarineBluePsy said:

Well does the rest of your group share your frustration with this person?  If so then I don't see anything wrong with talking with the professors as a team.  That way you don't look like one person just whining.  Though it is entirely possible they will just listen and tell you to handle it yourselves.

It's a small group of three, and the other person who isn't the source of stress and I have spoken about the problematic person - but they also agree with the problematic person on some of what they've said, so I'm kind of in a rough spot.  I'm going to keep monitoring it... sorry for kvetching, and appreciate the words! 

[MarineBluePsy]

2 hours ago, justanotherlostgrrl said:

It's a small group of three, and the other person who isn't the source of stress and I have spoken about the problematic person - but they also agree with the problematic person on some of what they've said, so I'm kind of in a rough spot.  I'm going to keep monitoring it... sorry for kvetching, and appreciate the words! 

Well where else would you kvetch?  No need to apologize.  Well if the other group member is on the fence then it may be best to tough it out and do what you can to avoid group projects with the problem person in the future.  However if you are given an opportunity to evaluate each other then I'd suggest being honest about the problematic person.