Letter Writers Demoralizing You During Meetings

[antigone56]

Subject line is exaggerating, but...today I met with one of my letter writers.  And while she was complimentary of me in a lot of ways (very important ways, at that), she was also kinda like, "NYU?  Get real."  

 

I love this lady in general, but it was just...you know.  

 

I'd said that my GRE Verbal was looking like 89th percentile on the high end and 76th percentile on the low end (based on practice tests), and she said, "That's still low..."

 

Your stories or thoughts about letter writers making you feel stupid?  Not that they're bad people but that they make you feel stupid anyway?

[loginofpscl]

My letter-writer (research adviser for 3 years, adviser for outreach student org for a year now) is very tough to please. He expects a lot, and can be very disappointed when you don't do something the way he'd like it. Several instances of this happening... often during group meeting my results over the course of a couple of months would be panned. Not that it was bad work, he'd just expect more.

 

These sorts of things make me anxious sometimes as to whether he would truly support me in applying for grad school or fellowships, but you gotta realize your letter-writers, if you are truly planning to get letters from them, will only want whats best for you. Sometimes they can just be very brusque. I figure as long as I am a beggar in this relationship I just need to grow balls and not take everything personally.

Edited September 19, 2013 by loginofpscl

[antigone56]

Oh, I didn't take anything personally at all.  In fact, I loved her feedback, even the most brutal.  I wrote the original post in good nature.  I know she wants what's best for me.  

[Cesare]

Subject line is exaggerating, but...today I met with one of my letter writers.  And while she was complimentary of me in a lot of ways (very important ways, at that), she was also kinda like, "NYU?  Get real."  

 

I love this lady in general, but it was just...you know.  

 

I'd said that my GRE Verbal was looking like 89th percentile on the high end and 76th percentile on the low end (based on practice tests), and she said, "That's still low..."

 

Your stories or thoughts about letter writers making you feel stupid?  Not that they're bad people but that they make you feel stupid anyway?

One of my letter writers sends conflicting signals (before I continue I know for a fact that he writes me the strongest letters). One minute he says I will get into any school I apply to, the next he scolds me for applying to the schools that I did. I still feel stupid for receiving some of the comments I did from him. In reality (at least in my situation), I know my research interests better than any of my letter writers, so I will select schools based on what I think is a good fit.