How likely is it that moving from one school to another will backfire?

[zephyr201]

TLDR: I am a biology student who just started a PhD program (don't have a master's). Religious culture at current institution is driving me nuts. Have been accepted at another school for this season (Fall '13), and they will let me move schools if I find an advisor who will take me on as a student. What is the chance of talking with professors at target school to see if they'll take me as a student will backfire and make my life miserable (i.e., current advisor gets a phone call and the whole plan goes to shit and doesn't work out)?

 

I'd like to first say that I've read a ton on these forums and elsewhere to filter advice relevant to my situation, but haven't seen anything about what the chances are of everything falling apart when trying to leave your current institution. I hope I will be welcomed here, and am desperately searching for any advice. Thank you for your time and energy for reading this and giving it some thought.

 

 

I applied to a few schools specifically to work with professors in the area of research I'm interested in. I narrowed it down to two schools and then ended up picking the one that gave me a larger stipend.

 

My current advisor is a great guy. He's at the stage where he's going for tenure and working to death getting publications. The lab is doing pretty cool work, too. However, I find that outside of the lab realm, the culture here is really starting to hurt my mental well being. After being here for about half a year (I started working early), the over-the-top religious culture is driving me absolutely fucking nuts. Girls aren't interested in dating "non-members", and friends are hard to make once they figure out you aren't going to convert. Now, before you release the dogs on me, I must say that I visited this current school for about a week to 'preview' it, and the people here did an amazing job of playing down how much the religion is ingrained into everything they do -- pretty much all of social activities revolve around their church. I should also mention that I am doing well here in both courses and my research, according to my grades and advisor.

 

So, I called the administrator from the department of the other school I was interested in and accepted to, and they informed me that as long as I find an advisor who will take me on, they will transfer my first semester and I'll be able to switch schools.

 

The advisor I initially wanted to work for already found a student that took my place, but there are others at that school (both within and outside that department) who are doing research I'd be really interested in picking up. I'm only a handful of hours away from my current target school. I'd like to take a ride out there and meet with a few of the other professors whose work I'm interested in and 1) describe the predicament I'm in as well as 2) see if they have any openings or funding for another grad student.

 

I don't really want to bring up the situation with my current advisor until I know exactly whether or not I'll have a spot with a mentor at the target school. I think it would be pretty shitty to say, "I'd like to leave," then not have any other profs take me on and be stuck at the current school with an additional awkward milieu. However, I'm scared that the professors of interest at the target school will want to know more about my current work and make a phone call to my current advisor.

If I take the chance and talk with them, what's the possibility that they'll shoot for this contact and completely fuck up my rep with the current advisor? Is talking with the other profs a bad idea? Would you go about doing this a different way that I haven't mentioned in this post? To reinstate, I cannot muster living here any longer.

 

Once again, thanks so much for taking the time to read this and lending your energy through thought. It means a lot to me, as I am just not quite sure what I should do.

Edited October 16, 2013 by zephyr201

[Eigen]

Chance of backfiring is high in my experience. 

 

You always want to let your current advisor know you're leaving before you start talking to another school. 

 

I had a grad student at my school try it the under the radar way... PI at new school called old school, revoked their offer, and then things were really uncomfortable at old school. 

[nugget]

Can you first first find out if anyone you want to work with is able to take another student on? I'd probably start there (without getting into the details about your interest until you talk to your supervisor first) because if you tell your supervisor first then find out no one you want to work with even has the resources to consider another student that would not be a good situation either.

 

When, and if, you have that talk with your supervisor, I'd highlight all the great things you like about working with him and emphasize that the reasons you want to leave are personal and religious-based. He might not be too happy about the time/financial investment he's made on you this semester and your plans to leave, and that's perfectly understandable. But if he's an open-minded person it isn't likely that he'll get angry over your reasons for wanting to leave and will hopefully understand that you aren't happy and need to move.

Edited October 16, 2013 by jenste

[zephyr201]

Eigen and Jenste, thank you both so much for your input. It means quite a lot.

 

Eigen, thanks for letting me know of your experienced of this going sour for another graduate student. I think of that story and just cringe.

 

Jenste, that is a great idea. Since I'm only a few hours away, would you suggest meeting them in person and discussing whether they are willing to take new grad students on? Or simply email them and ask, then if they say yes, take the drive out and discuss the specifics.

[Eigen]

I can't emphasize enough making sure that your current school knows you are thinking about moving before you contact other schools. 

 

Especially if it's a few hours away, there's a large chance the PIs know each other fairly well, and it will raise all kinds of flags if you say you're a student at your current school. 

 

If you decide your current school is a bad fit and will be leaving, that decision is made and you should (carefully) discuss that with your PI/DGS. 

 

Don't leave "dependent" on getting in somewhere else, or try to juggle the two, as that rarely works out well. 

[juilletmercredi]

I actually don't think it always works out badly - I have seen a few students move who have contacted the new school before telling their adviser at the old school, but just making it clear to the PI that they haven't told their own adviser yet so they would prefer discretion.  It's such a pickle - you don't want to tell your adviser that you want to leave before you're really ready to.  What happens if you don't get accepted at the new place?  Then it becomes uncomfortable between you and your current adviser.

 

I think you can go either way with this one to a certain point.  The ideal thing would be to explain to your adviser that you are thinking about leaving, because personally your university is not a good fit for you even though you enjoy working with him.  Get his support, and then pursue an out.

 

But sometimes people don't have supportive advisers; their advisers might drop them altogether before they are ready to leave, or may make their lives miserable before they're ready to leave.  And in those cases I say that it's okay to put out feelers - but you have to recognize the very real possibility that it will blow up in your face, so you have to proceed very cautiously.  I would NOT proceed to the point of a visit before talking to the adviser.  But just finding out whether professors there are taking students?  I think you can do that without explaining all the gory details.

[TonyB]

Just curious... do you live in Utah or something? I've lived in the rural Midwest for most of my life, and while religion is certainly more prominent "in the country," I've never known it to be as oppressive or all-encompassing as what you're describing. And I'm a pretty devout atheist, who has little patience for that sort of thing.

 

A personal story: I attended Kent State University for a semester a year or two ago. There was a religious organization that was very active on campus, trying to recruit new freshmen and new international students to come to their Bible studies and so on. I actually became friends with a group of guys who were affiliated with this group (we would get together on Sunday nights to watch a TV show we all loved), and while the religion thing continued to come up, after spending as much time with them as I did I'm convinced that they were all genuinely friendly, well-meaning people. Their tactics were a little shady (i.e., deliberately targeting vulnerable people, kids who are away from home for the first time, etc.), but I honestly don't think there was anything insidious going on.

 

My point is that these folks were very aggressive about being friendly and welcoming to new people; so if you were new to the area and not especially outgoing, these were the people you were going to encounter. There are plenty of people in the Kent area who are NOT religious, or not as wrapped up in it as these guys were, but they also don't necessarily have the incentive to be walking up to every new matriculant with a handshake and a shit-eating grin either. So you might want to give it more time; the religious thing might not be as big of an issue as you think it will be, in the long run.

[PsychGirl1]

Have you tried to integrate into groups outside of the school atmosphere? Generally, you can use websites like Meetup to try to make friends or learn new hobbies. It's only been 6 months, and you're liking your research and your PI. I'd honestly try to stick it out for a bit longer to get over the adjustment phase, and try to find new friends in different ways, such as sports, hobbies, meetup, craigslist, okc, etc. You don't have to spend 24/7 at your institution or with your cohort, and there's always going to be SOMETHING that sucks- very few programs/schools/areas are 100% perfect.

Edited October 23, 2013 by PsychGirl1

[ScienceGiraffe]

I have to say i agree with couple people above me: I would wait it out at the same school instead of transfering:

 

1. you said you just started grad school, give it couple more months, you will find a group of friends that fit you. it's a bit too soon to take such drastic action.

2. I am athiest and i personally found people with religion are very friendly. I have lived in both east and west coast.

3. Pick up a hobby while you are searching your friend group...i recommend running and tennis

4. In case you still want to transfer school...yea...tell your PI first!

 

Best!