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Almost finished with my personal statement I feel stuck


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I have written my final statement and I finished it however rereading it I don't like how it sounds. It seems choppy and I know i answered all aspects of the questions but it seems repetitive. I am going for my MSW and I really need help! If anyone on here would be amazing and possibly read it for me and give me some tips I would be forever grateful!  

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I'm having a similar problem, I'm done with a first draft but would love some fresh eyes to look at it. In return I'll go through yours. I'm applying for a master's degree in economics... Anyone in the same boat? Thanks

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