Would you follow this advice from dpmt chair at top choice?

[pqo309]

Hi there,

 

So I met the department chair of my top choice school recently at a grad school fair. We really hit it off and I think I left a good impression. In our talk, she gave me some advice on writing my statement.

 

Basically, I told her my cumulative GPA isn't so hot at a 3.4 and she told me, "no problem, explain it like this" and proceeded to give me specific wording to use. Problem is, I don't know if a 3.4 warrants this extra scrutiny, especially when my major GPA is 3.8. I did add the sentence to my drafts and everyone I've shown it to has had a negative reaction.

 

What would you do?

 

 

[Loric]

What was the wording...?

[pqo309]

Oh, something like "While my transferred coursework did not translate into an impressive overall GPA, I believe I have more to show for my experiences."

[Loric]

I don't see how that's bad.

[ProfMoriarty]

Who did you show it to? Family? Friends? Take into account that most people think a SOP is meant to only say positive things about you, which is probably why they have reacted negatively to it. The person who gave you this advice has to read several of these and probably knows a lot more about what adcoms like to hear..

[Loric]

I'm one of the biggest touters of "say no negative" - but that's framed as a positive. You got more out of the overall experience than the grades show..  I fail to see how that's negative for you.

 

You're not saying the school was crap, or that you did poorly, or that you even learned from a mistake. Just that the total is greater than the sum of the parts.

[Sigaba]

Hi there,

 

So I met the department chair of my top choice school recently at a grad school fair. We really hit it off and I think I left a good impression. In our talk, she gave me some advice on writing my statement.

 

Basically, I told her my cumulative GPA isn't so hot at a 3.4 and she told me, "no problem, explain it like this" and proceeded to give me specific wording to use. Problem is, I don't know if a 3.4 warrants this extra scrutiny, especially when my major GPA is 3.8. I did add the sentence to my drafts and everyone I've shown it to has had a negative reaction.

 

What would you do?

 

I would ask myself: "Precisely why, after receiving guidance from a burning bush at 'my top choice school,' am I second guessing that advice by conducting a straw poll among strangers on the internet?"

 

Also, you're sending mixed messages about your cumulative GPA. You told her it "isn't so hot." Now, you "don't know if a 3.4 warrants this extra scrutiny." Which is it?

[pqo309]

I think the wording is brilliant, but everyone, even a graduate school admissions person, got stuck on it. Thanks for the opinions, I'll think it about some more.

[Loric]

It's a reordering of clauses. I do it all the time - and some people think I can't write. It's a habit of certain folks..

 

At the same time, I've lived off royalties for the books i've written. It's a matter of what people are willing to accept and what their exposure to the language is. If they're entirely rigid, formal, and not well read they will have trouble with such a sentence. It's not a typical or easy sentence. It's not wrong, it's not what people expect.

 

A story I like to tell in such situations.. way back in my AP Lit class in high school the students had to read and edit each other's essays. The valedictorian was reading my paper, me the barely-a C avg student who slept through class but never got less than an A on anything I wrote. She took offense to my sentence structure. We argued. She walked it up to the teacher, certain I was going to be told to change my wording.

 

My teacher looked it over and said.. "What's the problem?" The valedictorian became so indignant and tried to express all the grammatical reasons the sentence was flawed.

 

The teacher lowered her glasses, look at the paper once more, and replied.. "If it's good enough for Mr. Thoreau, it's good enough for Mr. Loric."

 

And jaw agape, that was the end of the valedictorian's edit of my paper. The teacher wrote A+ on it and handed it back to her. "You could learn something you know.."