Gifts for LOR writers - the best of the best

[cupofnimbus]

Hey guys... I didnt know that gifts to LOR writers were normal? I never thought about it but my instict tells me that it is a bit over the top?

 

I would like some opinions on this. Also, do you give gifts for things like fellowship/schoalrship recommendation letters? I dont want to be over the top suck up. Maybe a hand written thank you card would be sweet but not quite as much? what do you think?

 

 

Well, it's their job to do them, so you don't have to get them anything. I think it's just a nice way to recognize their effort and to maintain that relationship for the future. And a thank you card should be enough!

 

I disagree that it's over-the-top. I mean, if you're sending them expensive gifts, but a token of appreciation (it's not actually in their job description to write recommendations) for the time and effort they're expending on your behalf can be very gracious and go a long way. Some people have given chocolate--I have baked for them, because it's something I'm good at and it's easy! A thank you note is perfectly appropriate, however, if you aren't comfortable with giving (small! think small!) gifts. The most expensive thing I sent was a box of fruit, and that was because I couldn't think of anything else!

[ellephoto]

I'm thinking Starbucks gift cards + cute cards from a local art boutique. I like to give gifts that you can use anywhere (making it more convenient) from places that have some variety. I love supporting local business but the problem is that if someone doesn't normally go there, they would have to go out of their way which makes the gift card inconvenient. Gift cards are best to me because shopping for other ppl can be hellish even if I know them really well. The only other thing I could think of was a gift card for Etsy but again some ppl are more internet-savvy than others. Pretty much every professional drinks coffee/tea.

[zipykido]

I was pretty close to my LoR writers so I personalized gifts a bit. Most of it was drinking paraphernalia (dogfish head randall jr, laptop sleeve for a new laptop one of my PI's just bought, some whiskey glasses). Just remember that it doesn't have to be expensive or related to science. Also remember that giving a good leaving gift is very important so that they remember you especially since you might need to have them write you additional letters when applying for fellowships. I think even something as simple as a bottle of wine is acceptable depending on your relationship with them. 

[seeingeyeduck]

Are there different cultural perceptions of gift giving? I know that in Asian cultures it is pretty normal but I wonder if it makes the interaction seem too transactional in American culture?

[icedtea]

I'll send mine scenic postcards from the place I land in, hopefully. Anyway, I know one of them is very expressively sensitive about such stuff so I would never send him a fancy item.

[bakalamba]

Are there different cultural perceptions of gift giving? I know that in Asian cultures it is pretty normal but I wonder if it makes the interaction seem too transactional in American culture?

 

I think it's a pretty well received gesture, as long as the gifts come after all the letters are written, submitted, and application deadlines have passed (otherwise it does come off as transactional).

 

I have given bottles of port in the past, as well as wine. For one LOR, I gave him a fiction book, as he always assigned at least one work of fiction in every graduate seminar - which is a welcome intervention in a sea of policy docs and theory.

[RunnerGrad]

One of my references I worked with very closely, and I knew she enjoys wine, so I gave her a bottle of wine.  For my other references, I'm having a hard time, because our relationship was much more professional.  One of them was my thesis advisor, but we never socialized outside of the university (unlike my reference who received the bottle of wine).  I'm debating either a Starbacks or Chapters (book store) small gift card. I could also crochet a coffee cup/mug cozy/holder (to use instead of those cardboard ones). So hard to know what is appropriate for the more reserved references!

Edited June 2, 2014 by RunnerGrad

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They make far, far, far more money than you do. Plus, they don't need anymore "junk" like coffee mugs. A sincere, handwritten note is just fine. 

[bhr]

I got a cup full of chocolates for my department AA (who handled all my faxing, ect. and was just a great help). I wound up just doing booze for the others, well-appreciated. I did get one an autographed book I know he would appreciate, but that's because I knew his taste and we had spent a lot of time talking sports.

[Thesis]

That's great, showing you are grateful is a nice reward for them already, try to pick a gift related to the subject, such as a card with a nice thank you thing written by yourself on it, a nice (valuable) pen will be a nice gift to me, if you can get it personalized, that would be great!