buylotusonitunes Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 I'm in my first year of grad school and I'm seriously considering dropping out. Warning: long read ahead One of the main reasons why I applied to grad school was because I didnt really like the idea of looking for a job and the fact that people kept telling me "oh grad school opens so many doors. You really should get a PhD if you want to get a job" I felt like the people who were able to get jobs (in chemistry) right away (after a bachelors) were the ones who did REU's and were super smart and tons of research experience. I was the complete opposite. Probably the worst chemistry student in my class year with limited research experience to be honest. I didnt really know it at the time (or even put into thought into it) but the research I did during undergrad didnt make me particularly marketable. As in the research that my adviser did was very niche and theoretical? (I dont know how else to put it) Part of me wishes I had chosen a more synthetic lab...that way I at least could have become really good at running columns and analyzing NMR's or something. Its only been a semester but I'm just so sick of school at this point. I'm so sick of spending entire days in libraries, sick of problem sets, and sick of testing. Some people are really good at balancing work and free time. Not me. I literally have to spend every waking minute studying to do well in school and I just feel so burnt out after what feels like a lifetime of just studying non-stop. Location is also a factor. Grad school is in the middle of nowhere. I thought it would be a non-factor but it is. I absolutely cannot stand it. I regret not applying to schools in big cities. Oh and if you couldn't tell by my screen name, I'm a dude that likes dudes. You can already imagine how many gays there are in the middle of nowhere. Yea, its a problem. I'm lonely as f#%k and I miss my family and I miss my friends back home (two weeks a year really isnt gonna cut it) My parents say they dont care if I get a PhD or not but I can tell they obviously want me to get one. I'd be the first in the family with a graduate degree (in a useful subject) so I almost feel kind of selfish/guilty for wanting to drop out to be honest. I know I'm not going to be happy stuck in grad school but at the same time, I dont want to disappoint them either. I'm not doing that great academically either. I took two classes last semester. I did well in one of them and really bad in the other...as in academic probation bad...I have never done this bad ever). The adviser I wanted wouldn't let me into her group because of how poorly I did in that class so yea, I dont even had a group at this point. She thinks I'm lazy when really I've just been depressed. Like the kind of depressed that you need to go to a therapist and take anti-depressants. Its very hard to be motivated when you can think about is how lonely you are and wondering if you're just stupid. But what else can I possibly do with just a Bachelors? I'm not even necessarily looking for a job in chemistry. What the hell are employers gonna think when they see a chemistry degree? . I dont really have any marketable skills (that I can think of) and I dont have the money to go to learn something entirely new. I've considered teaching high school (I dont really enjoy TA'ing and Im not super social. But I could be closer to home and 15 weeks off a year doesnt sound too bad and pay is decent). I am also really worried about how that bad grade from my first semester of grad school is going to affect my chances of applying to a Master's in Education program to be honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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