TulipOHare Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 I think going for a degree but accepting mediocre results because you failed to try certainly could say something about a person's character - the poster suggested he was lazy and seemed to be justifying...so many women accept less than just because they think they have to, but there are guys out there who are the entire package. Sorry for snapping, t_ruth. I agree with your last sentence completely (hell, been there done that, even...). But I also strongly disagree with the idea that if a person isn't good at school or isn't interested in school, that person must be stupid or lazy. If janeng's dude lives off of her and does nothing to earn his keep, or if he never really tries at anything, then yes, you're absolutely right. But if he just didn't like school or wasn't good at school, and does put forth effort at other things, there's nothing wrong with that. Besides, we all know stupid, lazy people who have graduate degrees and/or get paid way more than we do. ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
t_ruth Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 I think it is all about your priorities too - for me, intelligence is one of the most important traits I look for in a mate. Also, I can't imagine being happy with someone who wasn't an equal in every way (but I know plenty of guys and girls who somehow get off on being superior). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stories Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 I think it is all about your priorities too - for me, intelligence is one of the most important traits I look for in a mate. Also, I can't imagine being happy with someone who wasn't an equal in every way (but I know plenty of guys and girls who somehow get off on being superior). I agree with you here. There have been girls I've dated in the past I couldn't seem to let myself completely fall for because of education. Yes, I understand that intelligence isn't dictate by what level of education you achieve, but it is a starting point for many folks. Those pursuing education says there is a level of dedication and work a person is willing to put in, and someone educated in a structured system is generally more well versed in a variety of areas of the world than those who aren't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
y2kwizard Posted April 14, 2009 Author Share Posted April 14, 2009 I agree that I would like to date someone who is my equal in most regards. I don't understand the households where the man is clearly dominant, or where the woman reigns supreme. It seems like that sort of inequality would bring resentment over the years. However, I disagree that education is necessarily an indicator of someone who is my equal. Like posters have said above: some people just can't be bothered with academics, even if they're very smart and motivated. I also would like to emphasize what some others have stated: perhaps the school itself isn't the best place to look for a mate, especially in fields dominated by a single gender. I guess I'll probably try some more non-traditional dating methods. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
t_ruth Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 education might not be the only indicator, but it can be one... also, if we are talking about someone who attempts school but just can't be bothered, like I said, that could be indicative of a larger problem. I was not interested in dating someone in my field, so I'm all for non-traditional methods of meeting people! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MDLee Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 I got lucky enough to meet someone this semester (my last semester at my current grad school before I transfer out for PhD work). The dating was great. But...when faced with the possibility of distance, he decided it wasn't THAT great (LoL). It is possible though. Several of the PTI's in my department are actually couples who met and married while getting their PhD's. Academic couples are kind of adorable in their own nerdish way. I only hope to someday be so lucky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inactive_since_inf Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Re: Dating in Grad School? Hell yes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stories Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 I got lucky enough to meet someone this semester (my last semester at my current grad school before I transfer out for PhD work). The dating was great. But...when faced with the possibility of distance, he decided it wasn't THAT great (LoL). It is possible though. Several of the PTI's in my department are actually couples who met and married while getting their PhD's. Academic couples are kind of adorable in their own nerdish way. I only hope to someday be so lucky The PI I worked with while I was at BU was married to another academic. The woman i worked with at BU got her doctorate at Harvard, and her husband got his doctorate at BU, he now is a professor at Harvard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bevis Kasey Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 younger generations dating policy is huge.. what are the bleddy parents doing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bowdoinstudent Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 When I visited my graduate program, it seemed like most people were unattached, so I definitely felt weird about being in a serious relationship. But, I guess it's not really an issue unless I make it into one. Just because I'm attached doesn't mean I can't make new friends or be excluded from social activities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stories Posted April 24, 2009 Share Posted April 24, 2009 When I visited my graduate program, it seemed like most people were unattached, so I definitely felt weird about being in a serious relationship. But, I guess it's not really an issue unless I make it into one. Just because I'm attached doesn't mean I can't make new friends or be excluded from social activities. Interesting. When I had my interview day at Yale, several of the current students were married. Go figure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fsmn36 Posted April 24, 2009 Share Posted April 24, 2009 Interesting. When I had my interview day at Yale, several of the current students were married. Go figure. Then again, I had a lot of that in undergrad. Going to a small state school in the midwest, I think about 1/4 of the population is married or engaged. Which is just...crazy to me. I was hoping there'd be more possibilities in grad school, but it looks like it might not be much better!lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stories Posted April 24, 2009 Share Posted April 24, 2009 Then again, I had a lot of that in undergrad. Going to a small state school in the midwest, I think about 1/4 of the population is married or engaged. Which is just...crazy to me. I was hoping there'd be more possibilities in grad school, but it looks like it might not be much better!lol Big thing to remember is, it'll happen when it happens. If it's in grad school, great, if it's some time after, awesome. Nobody is destined to be alone forever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
advice Posted April 25, 2009 Share Posted April 25, 2009 When I visited my graduate program, it seemed like most people were unattached, so I definitely felt weird about being in a serious relationship. But, I guess it's not really an issue unless I make it into one. Just because I'm attached doesn't mean I can't make new friends or be excluded from social activities. Eh. You can do whatever you want to do. If you're attached thats great, if not, that's fine to. As a couple, it is good to be able to go out individually from time to time. Especially since even if you're in the same program and in the same department, you probably won't have the same work due all at the same time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
europegrad Posted May 1, 2009 Share Posted May 1, 2009 I'm freaking out about this issue. I've moved from South America to Europe, alone and definitively - because I got Italian Citizenship. Left all potential mates there also. Now that I'm moving into The Netherlands for Grad School, I'm just scary about relationship perspectives there. I visited the University and met fellow grad students, and the picture seems to be like 90% of school grad students are men, and majority or remaning girls are commited/engaged. Maybe I should look on the Faculty of Behaivoural Sciences grads? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InTheKnow Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 This is an issue I've been starting to think about ever since I started following this thread. I'm 30 years old and moving to a MUCH smaller town (big city population to 50,000+ residents.) Five years ago I would have said, yeah sure no problem here. But now that I'm 30...it's starting to hit me about what I'm getting myself into here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phreeduh Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Hunh. Last year I was the only non-married person in my department.. Actually it was pretty lonely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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