Forms / Prompts / Advice when corresponding

[iExcelAtMicrosoftPuns]

Starting this thread in order to get (and pass along) advice regarding emailing Universities. Perhaps I’m just awkward. Perhaps I have this deep-rooted sense of shame (I blame my parents). Whatever the reason – I occasionally struggle when composing an email.

Lemme first preempt my defense. This in no way indicates I’m unprepared inter-personally.  In person I am eccentric, agreeable, a basic (but gentle) nut.  Email can be tricky… even as a rhetorician I find sense of awkward/shame (I’m not worthy!) clouding my intuition of audience needs.   Whew!

I find prompts and general guidelines helpful. Post your best advice and I’ll edit this first page to include your quotes. This way the folks coming behind us can quickly find answers for their email questions.

I’ll start.

RE: where do I stand?!?!?
Scene: ErmahGawd! There are 3 acceptances on the board and 4 rejections… I haven’t heard anything and it’s been a week what do I do?!? Should I email them?

Consider: There isn’t a forum consensus here. Some folks say “yeah man – if it’ll make you feel better” other folks say “I’d hate to bother them…” .  I’m of the “don’t bother them” mindset. It’s not that I think the DGS are some sort of untouchable deities – I’m just not that bugged by waiting

Email:  I think Karmisha (sp) has had some luck with a quick note – “DGS, My name is BowTies R. Cool, I applied for Time Travel Paradox PhD and I’m looking for an update on my status. Thank you, B”

RE: Seeking advice/insight on your rejected Apps

Scene: ErmahGawd!!!! They rejected me, I thought I was a shoe in. I thought I was a great fit. Whadda I do??!?!? I know what I’ll do… I want to get to the bottom of this – I’m an inquisitive mind… why didn’t they want me?

Consider: Have a drink. Hug a friend. Grieve for a bit. So far, I’ve only been rejected from 1 program. I didn’t ask for insight because I knew it was competitive and I knew it was a reach. Some people do ask though – and some people get great responses.

Email: I wanna say Karmisha has done this before too. “DGS/POI, My name is XYZ I applied for ABC with a writing sample on 123. I was rejected from your program but I’m curious as to how I can strengthen my application going forward. Bla bla bla, any insight would be helpful. Thank you,”

RE: Declining admissions

Scene:  ERMAHGAWDD! I’ve been accepted to 2 great programs! I think I have my mind made up but I dunno how to tell the other program.

Consider: Have a drink. Hug a friend. Celebrate for a bit. This was hard for me – I struggled between sending a kind/short note and between sending a note with a little more insight into my decision making process. A good friend convinced me to go the kind/short direction – she said it’s almost insulting to tell them why you chose another program (bigger discussion here: Is it? I don’t think so. But I took her advice in order to be safe)

Email: Send it as soon as you “know”. By all means take your time to make an informed decision but when you know do your waitlisted peers a favor and don’t dilly. My email had 3 basic components: Thank you for the offer and advice, I’m declining to attend U of A, and I look forward to seeing faculty and students in the future.


--So, that’s my start. I’ll edit  to quote more sage when y’all holla at me.

[eku5]

Thank you for posting this! 

 

RE: Declining admissions-- Is it the norm to tell the school you've declined where you will be attending?

[rachelann1991]

This is really helpful! I'll just add my own two cents on situation 3: declining admissions.

 

Before reading this, I sent not super-short emails to the programs I declined, briefly and very politely explaining what went into my decision (a good fellowship and a particular faculty member I wanted to work with at the school that I chose). All of the DGS replied with kind, encouraging emails to the effect that they completely understood my decision and wished me the best at the program I chose. It actually seemed like they were grateful to know my thought process and I'm wondering if explaining the decision without a condescending tone might have saved some bridges that declining an offer might otherwise burn (even if they would have been burnt only in my paranoid mind!!!).

[lyonessrampant]

Having been both in the position of an applicant and as a grad student adviser, students and potential students always overthink.  Schools and programs do this every year, and the more specific info they can get about funding packages--in terms of length, amount, teaching load, etc.--is really what helps them predict comparisons for appeal.  Provide info.  Brag about (if that's how it feels) where you go.  It gives schools a sense of where applicants consider, and that is helpful.  It's also helpful for you to say where you are going and why.  Programs don't feel personally offended ever.  This is a game, and in the interest of these ludic concerns, what matters more than your individual ego (for everywhere) is a profile of types of applicants who apply, types who apply and don't attend, and types who apply and do attend.  Best of luck to everyone!  I don't mean to diminish your particular experiences; I just hope to connect hose particular moments to a much larger system.