Is it worth living with a landlord/family and doing chores for reduced rent?

[maelia8]

I'm asking because all of the cheapest offers I've seen on Craigslist in the area I'm moving to are families with a separate room (and sometimes bath) upstairs in their house who offer a grad student a sizable rent reduction in exchange for doing chores like walking their dog, babysitting or cleaning.

 

I hadn't considered this option (as opposed to just sharing an apartment with other grad students), and although it sounds like a great way to save money, I'm leery of the situation because I've heard some horror stories about living with a controlling landlord/family or issues arising around the chore obligations or the use of community spaces. Has anybody actually lived in a situation like this? If so, what was your experience? If not, do you think it would be a good idea?

[mockingjay634]

those families are simply looking for "grad students" because they tend to have a more open schedule (in correlation with class time), more educated, older, more responsible.  but that does not mean that they would understand your struggles as a PhD student. that you don't have much time available...

 

it's just a type of job with very little defined boundaries. maybe if there was a clear understanding what the chores would entail and how often you would be expected to do them with some off days in between, it could work but i personally wouldn't do it. i was considering doing such a thing but like, i wouldn't want to be in the middle of someone's family issues and be working on a PhD.

 

the thing is... in a situation like this, you will limit yourself only to your living areas and the kitchen (only to cook). do you really want to be in a dorm type of situation except you have an entire family breathing down your neck? also, kids can be cute but annoying... even on off days they might not understand your avoidance to play.

[PsychGirl1]

NOPE.

 

I like my apartment to be clean and my own personal chores to be on time. This term, I've barely managed to feed and cloth myself . I haven't dusted my apartment in probably 2 months, and my kitchen is stacked with things I need to wash. Sometimes finding time to get to the grocery store is a struggle!

 

To be honest, most of the time it might be doable... but there are some stages - like a handful of tough terms, the months leading up to your quals, etc.- where this added stress will probably just be too much. And as mentioned previously, it sounds like boundaries will be an issue. Leaving work to go home to work is not something I would want to do. You can always get a job babysitting or dog walking if you want to.

[ProfLorax]

I personally couldn't handle arrangement like that. If the landlords are overbearing and controlling, but you signed a lease, you are stuck! If you are concerned about money, I'd suggest that finding a part-time job, maybe one at ten hours a week, is a better option. Why? Because if the job gets in the way of your studies or you hate your boss, you can just walk away. Unfortunately, with a live-in situation, you don't always have that option. 

[themmases]

I wouldn't do it. This sounds the same as a roommate situation (reduced rent, own room, shared chores), but instead of living with people in your own age group and life stage, you'd be living with a family whose ideal situation seems to be to not have boundaries. Live-in domestic workers are very vulnerable to getting pulled into family drama, in addition to all the problems that come with having your downtime and personal life in the home of someone who could consider themselves in some sense your employer.

 

I could maybe see this being acceptable if one or more of the family members were also a grad student or recent grad. Otherwise I agree with mockingjay that these families are pretty much looking for the most advantageous situation for themselves based on a stereotype of graduate students.

[nugget]

I would only consider it if your tasks were very clearly outlined in a contract. ie: walk dog 3 times a week, one hour each walk. Wash dishes twice a day, 5 days a week. Vacuum entire house every Saturday morning. I would not agree to babysit because if the parents return home late it isn't ethical to leave them home alone and you are not likely to be compensated for extra time spent baby sitting.

 

There should also be a clause that if any changes need to be made, both parties need to agree, otherwise the contract is null and void. I'd also add a clause stating that if both parties do not agree to making changes and one or both parties no longer wishes to continue with the original agreement (making the contract  null and void), the original terms and conditions of the contract will continue for maximum period of amount of time (perhaps 2 or 4 weeks) to give yourself time to find a new place to live. You should also have a clause that states that any party can withdraw at any time for any reason if someone no longer wishes to part take in this arrangement providing a certain amount of notice is given (perhaps 2 or 4 weeks).

 

I would also have a clause stating that you can install a lock on your bedroom door and not give the family a key to the door to ensure your privacy. Furthermore, I would also have this document signed in the presence of a witness or notary.

Edited May 8, 2014 by jenste

[nugget]

You also want to be compensated fairly for your time. Calculate the amount of time it will take to do all of the tasks, find out approximately how much money you will be saving be living there (by finding out the fair market rental value of the room) and figure out the hourly rate for your household duties. If you are not happy with the hourly amount (or if it is below the local minimum wage), then do not move there.

 

I personally think it is much simpler to find a part time job. Do you have permission to work on or off campus? If you do, I'd opt for this route because you can easily quit a job you don't like but it's more complicated to enter and leave this living arrangement. Why would you want to add more work and stress to your life when you are beginning a brand new program in a new country that is (I'm assuming) conducted in a second language?

 

I would only seriously consider this arrangement if money is a problem and you do not have legal permission to work in the country - and only under the conditions mentioned in my previous post.

Edited May 8, 2014 by jenste

[mockingjay634]

I would only consider it if your tasks were very clearly outlined in a contract. ie: walk dog 3 times a week, one hour each walk. Wash dishes twice a day, 5 days a week. Vacuum entire house every Saturday morning. I would not agree to babysit because if the parents return home late it isn't ethical to leave them home alone and you are not likely to be compensated for extra time spent baby sitting.

 

There should also be a clause that if any changes need to be made, both parties need to agree, otherwise the contract is null and void. I'd also add a clause stating that if both parties do not agree to making changes and one or both parties no longer wishes to continue with the original agreement (making the contract  null and void), the original terms and conditions of the contract will continue for maximum period of amount of time (perhaps 2 or 4 weeks) to give yourself time to find a new place to live. You should also have a clause that states that any party can withdraw at any time for any reason if someone no longer wishes to part take in this arrangement providing a certain amount of notice is given (perhaps 2 or 4 weeks).

 

I would also have a clause stating that you can install a lock on your bedroom door and not give the family a key to the door to ensure your privacy. Furthermore, I would also have this document signed in the presence of a witness or notary.

if you do plan to do this, make sure you schedule in weekends that you would have a major paper due, comp exams, conference weekends, etc.

[maelia8]

Thanks for all of the input, guys! The two ads I've seen that looked like this didn't seem too demanding (children over age 10, walking the dog 5 days a week, etc.), but just the same, I know how easily a situation like this can get out of control, especially in terms of sharing space - you can never know beforehand how the family would react to me having friends over to watch a movie in the living room, or wanting to have a sexual partner over to spend the night in my room … I think that there is just too much potential for tensions to arise. I wouldn't want to be in a situation where I have to worry about getting nagged by "parents" about cleaning up, having friends over late, or walking the dog, as though I were in high school! Although I might save money (which is debatable considering how much money I could make doing the chores independently), it's probably not worth it.

 

@jenste I'm actually not an international student (I live overseas, but I'm American), so I'm not worried about getting a part-time job if I want to - I was actually planning on getting one, provided it doesn't interfere with my studies.

[danieleWrites]

Normally, I would say probably not. However, you're moving into one of the most expensive places to live on the entire planet. What you'd pay for a year in rent for a single bedroom apartment would pay off half of my mortgage.

When it comes to living situations like these, it's a matter of starting with boundaries. Get it in writing. What areas are you permitted to use? Can you put a lock on your door? Do they have a curfew in mind? And so on. If you have a specific list of chores you're required to do on specific days (with a possibility of negotiation to be accepted by both parties), then you have a base with which to deal with problems. Make it clear that you extras will be required for non-listed work (such as they go on vacay and you have to mow the lawn) and it has to be around your schedule, not theirs, and so on.

[QASP]

I say no for the following simple reason: living with a landlord, you have very few rights. If they turn down the heat, enter your space without permission, etc., you have very little recourse compared to living in a space that is not shared by your landlord. This varies based on the local laws, but generally your rights are greatly reduced if your landlord shares the premises with you in some sense. I strongly advise looking into local renter's rights before deciding on any arrangement like this.

[themmases]

I'd actually consider child care one of the most problematic parts of an arrangement like this. Especially in a field where you will be reading a lot (rather than having to go to a lab), I would foresee conflict when you need to concentrate in your room and aren't actually available to babysit, yet your landlord knows that you are home. Or questions about why you can't work from home instead of the library, so a child won't be home alone.

 

Pets and chores seem more reasonable in comparison. But since being expected to care for others' pets is a major complaint of people with roommates, I'd expect similar problems in a situation where you've actually agreed to provide some of their care.

[juilletmercredi]

TOTALLY depends.  

-How many chores are they talking about?  Are they reasonable, normal people or are they controlling neat freaks?  Do chores include looking after their children?  Are they going to make you ask for "time off" or okay vacations with them?

-Do these people really understand graduate students?  As a PhD student, you will be very busy, working 60+ hour weeks with an erratic schedule.  I have found that a lot of people think graduate school is like college 2.0.  I have to explain that grad school is much more like a demanding, low-paying job.  They may get irritated if they think you have more time than you actually do.

-Is the room separated from them?  Are you basically living in the main family home, with your bedroom essentially next door to the kids?  Are they going to know when you come and go, like if you go to get a couple of beers with folks?  Can you come home drunk?

I wouldn't do it for two reasons.

First of all, people who want babysitting and chores are essentially looking for a live in nanny and/or housekeeper without giving you live-in nanny/housekeeper pay.  Live-in nannies usually get free room AND a salary.  If they are just reducing rent, that means they are charging you to do work.  Heck no.  (The word I want to put in there is actually stronger than heck.)  It doesn't matter whether the children are over 10 or not - if they want a nanny, they should hire a nanny.

 

Not only that, but if you go in with the understanding that something is a full-time or part-time job, you can get clear outlines and boundaries on that job - hours of work, days off, expectations, etc.  These sort of informal "chores for rent" situations usually don't have those and can lead to misunderstandings.

I also agree with the wisdom that you won't feel comfortable in the common areas of the house.  It's THEIR house, not yours, and you will feel confined to your bedroom and the kitchen to cook.  You do not, not, not want this.

Second of all, I put a huge value on my privacy and control over my own time, and paying rent is totally worth that.  I live in one of the most expensive cities in the country (NYC) and I would much rather pay rent and work a part-time job than this.  In fact, last year I quit a job that came with free rent (live-in hall director) and opted to pay rent because I needed the time and space to concentrate on my dissertation work and didn't want middle-of-the-night interruptions in my work, and it was a job I actually really, really liked.