Do you ever get homesick or did you feel homesick when you first started your program?

[harrisonfjord]

What did you do to mitigate it?

[JustChill]

I definitely did, and do especially now during my year of research abroad. I make the best of Skyping with my loved ones and also try to enjoy what my current city has to offer in terms of entertainment and bars/dining, although going out alone isn't always fun. I was lucky to make several friends in my programs when I first started, which made the separation from my family and home more manageable, but now living abroad for a year is a different story. Hang in there. Remember that this is an investment in your future. 

[victorydance]

Get into the mentality that your home is where you are.

 

But as far as myself, no, because I don't really have a "home." I live a pretty vagabond lifestyle. 

[Authorization]

Not personally, since I chose to go to university and graduate school in the same town where I went to high school. Looking forward to homesickness when I eventually move though.  

[maelia8]

I did a year abroad during undergrad and then worked overseas for two years (I just got back to the USA a week ago  ) and I would say that at least for me, it's not so much being homesick as peoplesick. I missed my family and friends, but my hometown and the USA in general not so much. Every new place has a lot to offer! I recommend trying to join local clubs and organizations and really making an effort to get to know people outside of your specific program or department. Each small connection to a new person can lead to dozens more, and you'll make new friends much more quickly if you reach out to a variety of different people attached to different groups or activities.

[VioletAyame]

I did a year abroad during undergrad and then worked overseas for two years (I just got back to the USA a week ago  ) and I would say that at least for me, it's not so much being homesick as peoplesick. I missed my family and friends, but my hometown and the USA in general not so much.

 

Agree completely. I've done my BA in the US and I've been there for 6 whole years. Yet whenever I come home to visit I still feel miserable when I leave. I'm spending this summer home before going back to the US to start my program, and as the last few weeks are rolling by, I can't believe how sad I actually am right now. I have no problem living in the US anymore; there's no culture shock left; it's just heartbreaking to say goodbye to those people I love so much and not see them for at least a year (usually more, the last time I was back was 3 years ago). It's definitely peoplesick like you said.

 

How to mitigate it? Skype really helps not just to keep in touch but to still feel like you're a part of your old life, to not sever the cord and make the transition easier. Think more about what you'll gain than what you'll lose (still struggling to do this btw). Make plan to visit and spend time with them as something to look forward to, work hard in the interim and make the visit your reward. Having people to relate to definitely helps, and since grad school usually comprises of people coming from all over, there's not a shortage of people who feel homesick/peoplesick especially at the beginning of the program. I plan on coming to my school's international student orientation and join their club, perhaps helping the new-to-the-US students so I'll put my experiences to good use and not wallow in my own problems so much Just remember that everyone deals with homesickness differently, and I have friends who hardly have any problem with it at all, so sometimes message board like this can be more encouraging than real life people!

[VioletAyame]

Also I don't know if this helps, but I always feel comforted by the knowledge and tons of other people are making this transition and starting this journey as well, so I'm not alone and my problem is not unique. Even though I may not know them, but there's a sense of togetherness somehow. If it's been done before and it's being done now, I too can do it. Hope that makes sense.

[maelia8]

@VioletAyame I agree that online communication is vital for keeping in touch with friends all around the world. I have friends all over Europe and North America and some in Asia as well, and Skype is a lifesaver. I'm still good friends with the people I met on my junior year exchange, and I haven't lived in the city where i met them in three years! I visit as much as I can, once a year if possible, although I know that might not be realistic anymore once I start grad school in August. 

[Maleficent999]

This is definitely really specific, but for me the homesickness comes from feeling like I'm missing out on something back home. It helps to remind myself of why I am where I am. Also strangely enough, the more often I visit home the more homesick I get. I had a long distance relationship for 2 years in undergrad and I won't be continuing the long distance relationship in grad school largely because I felt like I missed out on a lot of socializing during my undergrad years by focusing so much on what was waiting for me back home. It won't be the same for everyone but for me it seems silly to continually put myself in a position where I make myself miserable (visiting home and then being heartbroken when I have to leave) so I've chosen to discontinue that part of my life during grad school. I don't mean I wont visit home, but I'll definitely limit my visits (I used to visit home at least once a month). How does this apply to the general population? Focus on what is happening to you right now. I try to think of it like an adventure. When I'm feeling sad, it really helps if I try to imagine projecting myself into the future and looking back on that sad moment to see how insignificant it will actually be to future me. I mean, its definitely easier said that done. I realize that.

Edited July 8, 2014 by Maleficent999

[Scarf in the wind]

It will be interesting how I will cope with being away from home at grad school. I have very few friends anyway. Less than 5 where I live. Most of my friends have moved on with their lives so going to grad school will, hopefully, be a welcome reprieve from boring solitude. I'm hoping to make friends with people at my school, both in and out of my department. I mean I'll miss my family, but also appreciate the freedom.

[VioletAyame]

This is definitely really specific, but for me the homesickness comes from feeling like I'm missing out on something back home. It helps to remind myself of why I am where I am. Also strangely enough, the more often I visit home the more homesick I get. I had a long distance relationship for 2 years in undergrad and I won't be continuing the long distance relationship in grad school largely because I felt like I missed out on a lot of socializing during my undergrad years by focusing so much on what was waiting for me back home. It won't be the same for everyone but for me it seems silly to continually put myself in a position where I make myself miserable (visiting home and then being heartbroken when I have to leave) so I've chosen to discontinue that part of my life during grad school. I don't mean I wont visit home, but I'll definitely limit my visits (I used to visit home at least once a month). How does this apply to the general population? Focus on what is happening to you right now. I try to think of it like an adventure. When I'm feeling sad, it really helps if I try to imagine projecting myself into the future and looking back on that sad moment to see how insignificant it will actually be to future me. I mean, its definitely easier said that done. I realize that.

 

I agree it's very hard being heartbroken everytime you have to leave. I thought I'd get used to leaving by now, but I haven't, and I don't know if I ever will (probably because I've only been home 3 times, each for a few months, during the last 6 years), and it's not like I don't enjoy being in the US. I know that when I get back, I'll also get back into my routine and not focus on what I'm missing, except during holidays and such, and so it's probably easier if I just remain there, but eventually you gotta visit and I feel like it'll be even harder to leave after being away for such a long time. I think the mental barrier for me is "I won't see my family and friends for at least 2-3 more years" and "This part of my life is ending and I can't get it back." The sense of finality is really hard for me to take. So it'll help to visit more regularly (i.e. make plan for annual visit) and to not think me being home and being in the US as 2 separate parts of my life but just one flow in which I'm living at both places. If home was close enough to visit once a month, I'd be so elated. But again I don't have a long distance relationship to make things harder!