Overly Chatty Officemate?

[iphi]

I was placed in my own office(!) last week with an officemate who is really nice. We like a lot of the same things, get along, etc. Only thing is that she does. not. shut. up.

 

At first it was fine, we were just getting to know each other, it seemed normal. But I actually have a lot more work to do than she does - we have different assistantships - and I really really need to get work done! I can't do it anywhere else because of access to materials, etc. But being in the office with her she interrupts my concentration and then tells 20 minute long stories that all I do is say, "yeah" and "sure" to.

 

I want to be nice, but also realize that I need to be firm about this being a space where I can get things done. I also don't know if it's because it's the beginning of the year and her assistantship hasn't given her much work to do yet. Maybe she'll be less chatty when she gets to be more busy? If not what can I do without being rude? She's from the midwest so naturally more.... forthcoming and nice than I am used to, coming from a city.

 

My roommate suggested going the passive-aggressive route and putting in headphones, but I'm not sure if that would be rude (or if it would even stop her talking to me)!

[GeoDUDE!]

Say,

 

Hello officemate, I know you are really social, and I appreciate that, but I really need to get some work done. Perhaps we can get coffee later and chat.

 

-iphi

Edited August 24, 2014 by GeoDUDE!

[St Andrews Lynx]

I'd go with headphones, too. I've seen people who share offices put in earplugs, and didn't think that was too unusual/rude. 

 

Just tell her when she starts a long anecdote: "I'm sorry X, I've got quite a bit of work I want to finish up right now. Maybe we can go grab coffee once I'm done?"

[nugget]

If you operate on a schedule, try telling her when you will have your next break and suggest going for a coffee, having lunch, etc, at that time because you need to get some work done. Putting on headphones too should be fine. Lots of people like to work with music in the background or work best with noise cancelling hedphones.

[fuzzylogician]

I suggest a combination of headphones and establishing a routine of quiet time for work during most office hours (a few 'I'm sorry, I really need to get some work done now, but why don't we grab coffee later and you can tell me the rest of the story' with consistency usually gets the message across), with coffee breaks where you do chat and are friendly, when you have the time for it.

[WriteAndKnit]

I'd go for the "quiet work time with scheduled breaks" option. A system I've read about (and use!) is 20/10 or 45/15, in which you work for 20 (or 45) minutes and then take a 10 (15) minute break. If you tell your officemate that you have a specific routine (and have headphones) you can establish a specific boundary, and if you make sure that you use at least one or two of those breaks each day for chit-chat, you should be able to stay on friendly terms. 

[danieleWrites]

Headphones plugged into something wouldn't be rude, even if you don't have any music playing. I used to play Gregorian chant over mine very, very quietly. As an introvert, it turns out that I'm a fabulous listener (who knew?) once people figured out that my weird wasn't that creepy. This meant that I had to set some boundaries with office mates. Some just can't/don't realize they've crossed boundaries, so headphones were a clear signal that I was in my own little world. Ear protection, like the plastic ear muffs they wear on shooting ranges, now that would be rude. Headphones say I'm in my own little world. Muffs say your noise is not welcome. Even if those muffs are super effective.

[bsharpe269]

I agree with everyone about the routine schedule while suggesting break times to talk so that she doesnt feel like you dont want to get to know her at all. Tell her that you are stressed about work piling up and suggest something like doing silence time until lunch and then taking lunch together. Also, feel free to put in head phones! That is really common in our offices. It is a signal that someone wants to get work done and is actually helpful to others around them too since they can tell if they are in the zone with work or just casually working and up for chatting. If she picks up on you putting in headphones as intense work time then it could be a great way to say shutup, let me work without having to say it or be mean. It really isnt passive aggressive in my opinion, it is pretty common shared office behavoir.

[iphi]

Thanks guys! I put in headphones today (I actually had them on when she came in) and she worked quietly the whole time! Hooray!

[wildviolet]

Glad it worked out!

 

I'm certainly guilty of being the overly chatty office mate sometimes. But, when I want to get some work done, headphones usually work.

[TakeruK]

I'd say headphones are not rude at all! Instead, at the departments I've been to, the culture has been that headphones on seem to be the agreed-upon signal for "please don't bother me right now". Of course, if you just stare at someone blankly and put your headphones on while they are still talking to you, then well, I guess that's pretty rude