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Not being able to choose any of your first year classes


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I am strongly considering leaving my PhD program in the biomedical sciences. I have become very frustrated that my program dictates what courses I have to take in my first year as they are more or less all the courses I have a very minimal background in. I do enjoy the classes but my grades are not quite up to what they should be considering there was no opportunity for me to take a less intense course (for example I am currently in a very advanced biochemistry class without any formal background). My background is primarily neuropsychology and and very little emphasis was placed on the molecular aspects of things. I am not sure if the program is worth all of the stress at this point because I can barely balance my lab work with my classes anymore. 

 

Anyone else in a similar boat? I am seriously considering taking next semester off and finding a new program to apply to next fall. The only issue is my funding is great and I really enjoy my lab but I cannot handle the excessive course load considering myself and a lot of others just do not have the background in these subjects. 

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I'm also in my first semester, I feel tired, overwhelmed... I also have to take classes I have barely no background in (but I am indeed enjoying the subjects, to my surprise), for the past weeks I have had trouble keeping up with the workload, BUT... I feel like everyone else in my cohort is sort of in the same boat... I'm also learning to not stress so much about grades, just work really hard and try my best... 

 

Most importantly, everyone keeps telling me that it gets better! I guess we learn how to manage our time/efforts better, and the coursework should get smaller in the next years... 

 

Have you considered talking to your graduate advisor?

 

In any case - good luck! :)

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I do not have a permanent advisor yet--It's complicated. You select your official advisor at the end of the program but I do have a solid idea who it will be if I continue. She has of course been slammed lately and pretty much al the PIs have been stressed the past couple weeks because everyone has to submit their NIH grants by tomorrow. I am sure it gets better because everyone in their second, third, fourth....years seems less stressed but this is just miserable. For each class we have exams every two weeks and I am impressed with myself for being able to regurgitate 50-70% of the material without having any background in the subjects but to me this is embarrassing. The only class I have ever come close to doing so bad in was general chemistry I. 

 

I do not find time management to be an issue, granted I feel like I need an extra four hours a day to look up all the words I do not know. Right now I find myself just apathetic but hey at least I understand the biochemistry of why I am so energy deprived.

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Classes and grades in classes are the least important part of a PhD program. They exist to make sure that everyone in the cohort has roughly the same level of knowledge...but it is the research that people will care about once you're done with the PhD. Besides, they only last for 1 year, and you'll have to take coursework & classes where-ever you do your PhD. Are you concerned that your aren't coming across as super-intelligent in front of your classmates, because you don't know the material as well as they do? Sod 'em. I doubt anyone cares.  

 

If the first year courses are the only reason you want to leave the program, I'd strongly advise you to stay. There are plenty of reasons that you should leave a program (bad fit with PI, lack of research opportunities/funding, crappy location, change of mind about career path)...the coursework is not one. 

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Did I know this was going on--sort of. I assumed that these classes would be divided throughout the year a little better. The real issue is that we started right in the middle of the text book (for all classes actually) and there was no introductory material (I know it's grad school but when half of your class have MAs in biochemistry and the other half have no experience--try and at least make sure everyone is starting out on a similar page). I found myself using youtube lecture to teach myself the basics and then ended up losing a lot of time that could have gone towards the new material...

 

 

Classes and grades in classes are the least important part of a PhD program. They exist to make sure that everyone in the cohort has roughly the same level of knowledge...but it is the research that people will care about once you're done with the PhD. Besides, they only last for 1 year, and you'll have to take coursework & classes where-ever you do your PhD. Are you concerned that your aren't coming across as super-intelligent in front of your classmates, because you don't know the material as well as they do? Sod 'em. I doubt anyone cares.  

 

If the first year courses are the only reason you want to leave the program, I'd strongly advise you to stay. There are plenty of reasons that you should leave a program (bad fit with PI, lack of research opportunities/funding, crappy location, change of mind about career path)...the coursework is not one. 

 

 

 

I do agree but I have received the lowest scores on two exams so far this semester. I have seriously never had any issues with classes in the past (not even ochem or molecular neuro). The PI at the moment is great and she teaches me everything I need to know (biochemistry specific to our needs) and it flows. It is the 30-40 hours in the lab followed by trying to study for these classes which makes me lose sleep and then turn into a zombie the next morning that really makes me doubt my sanity. 

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The real issue is that we started right in the middle of the text book (for all classes actually) and there was no introductory material (I know it's grad school but when half of your class have MAs in biochemistry and the other half have no experience--try and at least make sure everyone is starting out on a similar page).

 

Did you talk to your instructor about this? What did they say?

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The real issue is that we started right in the middle of the text book (for all classes actually) and there was no introductory material (I know it's grad school but when half of your class have MAs in biochemistry and the other half have no experience--try and at least make sure everyone is starting out on a similar page). I found myself using youtube lecture to teach myself the basics and then ended up losing a lot of time that could have gone towards the new material...

 

This is very normal. I had to take biochem without having organic chem first. I taught myself organic chem with khan academy while in the biochem class. It sounds like your background isnt as strong as many of your classmates and that you are having to play catch up. Again, this is pretty normal. Academia in general involves teaching yourself alot.

 

If you arent happy with the phd track then that is fine and maybe you would be happier either studying a different subject or not getting a phd. Based just on what you are saying here though it sounds like the program itself is fairly normal in its expectations. They would not have accepted you into the program if they didnt think you could be successful. It sounds like the biggest issue comes down to whether or not you are happy in the program. You could also talk to an advisor to see if they will let you take some undergrad prereqs next semester to catch you up if need be and then let you take some of the classes that you are struggling most in next year instead.

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Did I know this was going on--sort of. I assumed that these classes would be divided throughout the year a little better. The real issue is that we started right in the middle of the text book (for all classes actually) and there was no introductory material (I know it's grad school but when half of your class have MAs in biochemistry and the other half have no experience--try and at least make sure everyone is starting out on a similar page). I found myself using youtube lecture to teach myself the basics and then ended up losing a lot of time that could have gone towards the new material...

 

I understand it's hard but classes are meant to bring everyone up to a certain level, and that means they need to cover a lot of ground. For someone with less background, that means a lot more work catching up. If you have less background in all of your courses, I can understand how that can be overwhelming. You do need to spend a lot of time catching up, and that involves teaching yourself lots of things. My experience, though, is that once you're through the semester, you'll basically be up to speed with your colleagues who had a lot more background coming in. So, it's not easy but it may be worth the sacrifice.

 

It's also worth remembering that academia always involves a lot of self-teaching, it's part of the job. If don't enjoy self-teaching and want to quit because of that, that's a legitimate concern. If you continue with the PhD, there will be lots of other corners of your work that you'll need to teach yourself out of whatever resources you can find. However, if you're enjoying the research and the only concern is the next semester or two, which is a lot of very hard work, I think it might make more sense to try and push through, because it will be worth it at the end. You only take classes for a very short time (=1-2 years) and you'll do research for the rest of your career after that. You might even come to appreciate the early classes where things were laid out for you and someone showed you what you need to learn. Later on you'll not only have to teach yourself things, but also figure out what those things are that you need to learn. 

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I do like the program and teaching myself but some things are just a little harder than others. It is kind of like trying to play intense classical piano without knowing any of the notes but I am trying

 

Question for you more seasoned folk--If I do rather bad in a class are they going to make me retake it? Or are they going to put me on academic probation and/or give me the boot? My ideal solution is to audit an undergraduate level class in the spring, bring myself up to speed and retake the class next fall. 

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Have you asked them about your proposal to audit and retake? Each school has its own rules for such things - they are the only ones who can tell you whether this is possible, and also what the consequences are for failing a class.

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Each school is different in terms of starting courses, and taking/retaking courses. Since we have people from a huge range of backgrounds, everyone in my program has to take entrance exams- if you pass, you go straight into the normal curriculum, if not, you take undergrad courses first and then move in. 

 

It's not ideal to do the latter, just because it significantly increases the time you're taking classes without decreasing the research obligations. 

 

That said, teaching yourself background is pretty standard- we had a number of people in our first semester quantum mechanics class without much of a background, and they had to do a ton of math and physics review. We were all in the library constantly looking up background texts and review materials to bring ourselves up to speed. 

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If you're in a biomedical sciences program, usually students ARE from a wide variety of backgrounds, and they don't expect you to know everything from the beginning. I went through my coursework last year (we go through all classes in 8 months, so taking double course load), and I only got to choose a couple of later classes. During coursework, and then again during your qual, you sort of have to be okay with not having much of a life. I was in lab or studying most of the day. I would take a few hours on Saturday or Sunday to myself, but that's about it.

 

Also, it sounds like you're doing rotations. Most programs have a certain number of hours they expect you to be in lab for your rotations. At mine, we were expected to be there around 20 hours per week. The professors are well aware that their rotations students are also taking 12+ credits of graduate level classes. If your professors are telling you that 20-25 hours is unacceptable, perhaps you need to talk to them about your studies and grades. From my experience, good professors are going to understand where you're coming from and work with you on this.

 

That said, you may also need to re-evaluate HOW you're studying. Here is how I got through it:

1. Look over the slides and read any assigned papers or chapters BEFORE class. Look into primary literature more if needed. I did this the morning of on the bus ride into school

2. Take notes on printed out slides in class. I prefer printed rather than digital as I can diagram, better.

3. Record audio of the class (with the professor's permission) and note on each slide the time of the recording.

4. Review the notes again briefly THAT NIGHT. 

Write down anything that makes it more clear. Look up what you don't know. If something is really weird, listen to that time point in your recording.

5. Then on weekends, I would listen to the week's recordings, adding more notes. I did this because otherwise I have a hard time paying attention if I study quietly.

6. Once I have a good handle on the information from the slides, I make 1-page summaries of each lecture. I have small handwriting, so for normal people, this might be 2 pages. I include drawings of pathways and I add color to help make it memorable. This last step may seem excessive to you, but for me, it is much less stressful to have 1-2 pages per lecture than to have 10-20 pages of 2x3 slides per lecture!

 

Finally, most biomed programs will make you retake the class if you don't get a B or better. For my program, if you failed a class, it pushed back your qualifying exam; we can't take the exam if we haven't completed a specific set of classes. If you failed a second time, you were recommended for dismissal. I don't know of anyone that has happened to, though. Check into the timeline for dropping/auditing classes. Schools that start in late August/early September have likely passed the drop deadline, so you may not be able to drop the course at this point and may have to try and soldier through. Drop dates are often times within the first month of the course, earlier if the course is short.

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