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LOR writer hasnt replied to my email


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Before I graduated from my undergrad, I discussed with a professor about the possibility of writing me a letter of recommendation in the fall. He agreed, and told him to email him when fall quarter starts. Fall quarter started Oct 1, and I emailed him asking if hes still willing to write me a letter on Oct 6th. No answer. Then Oct 16, I sent a second email asking if he read the first one, and included a copy of the original email on the bottom of the second one. Still no response. 


My applications are due December 1st and 15th, so theres still alot of time left; however I would like to give all my writers, at least, a month to write one for me. My other writers responded immediately the next day when I sent out my first batch of emails on Oct. 6th. 


I doubled checked to see if he was on-leave, and hes not. 


So, what do I do now? 


I have been in contact with his wife, whose also in the same department. Shes sending me information about some fellowship programs, and helping me perfect my SOP. Would it be rude to ask her to remind her husband to respond to my email? I totally think it would be, which is why I havent done it yet, but Im curious what you guys think. 




Id prefer not to make another thread to answer another question of mine, so I'll post it here. Do I need to tell my LOR writers specifically what to say about me?


I know all my LOR writers very well. Ive taken 2-3 classes with them, always visited them in their office (even if I didnt have a class with them), and even had lunch/dinner with them. I did, once, bring up this topic with one LOR writer, asking what hes going to say, and he said something like, "when I said Ill write a LOR for you, I will only have good things to say." After that, I never brought up this topic with any of my LOR writers. 

Edited by LeventeL
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I don't know why he's not responding. Maybe because you're interacting with his wife he thinks she may be better suited for the recommendation?


I would not tell your LOR what to say. If you trust them to write the letter, let it go.  

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No, no. I havent taken any classes with his wife. I just know her through the department. We're only in contact because she attended one of the programs that I am interested in, and shes also in charge of the graduate program at my undergrad, so it makes sense for me to ask her to help me with my SOP. 


Conversely, I've taken 2 classes with her husband, whom promised to write a LOR >.<

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I had two former profs enthusiastically agree to write LORs on my behalf. I sent them both an email passing along the required information...and nothing.  Followed up with second emails about two weeks later.  Still....nothing.  And yet with a third set of emails about a week later.  I was really bummed and confused but didn't sweat it too much as I had originally asked a total of eight people for LORs; seven said yes, only needed three.  


A few weeks after I had sent the last emails I got a response from one of the profs saying that he submitted the LOR to all indicated programs.  The other prof responded with an email two weeks later announcing the same. 


So I dunno, give it some time.  It might be a good idea to look for a replacement, too. 


As for the giving of info:  some profs ask for a course list, CV/resume, and a few other bits of information to help aid them in writing the LOR, but I would suggest to not offer this sort information unless it is asked for. 

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