Is this too much for an SOP?

[FaultyPowers]

Hi guys,

 

Help!!

 

I have an SOP that I need to finish and submit like yesterday.

 

This is for a POI whom I've spoken to several times at this point. I mentioned that my MA thesis adviser had quit and totally bailed on all his students so as to explain why my letter from my (replacement) supervisor would be rather generic. I hadn't planned on mentioning it in the SOP because I didn't want to sound like I was badmouthing my MA granting institute...even though I totally DO badmouth my MA granting institute, what the hell?...but he said it would have been a "red flag" for him and that I should explain.

 

So...here's my attempt at doing that. Does this come off as sh*t talking? And if it does, does it come off as sh*t talking too much? How much do you think I can get away with? I basically want to leave the impression that this guy sucks and I'm blameless without actually saying that. Too much? Not enough? Meh...?

 

I will be matriculating into a doctoral program with an MA from <<Crappy Bad School>>. My thesis supervisor retired as I was in the final stages of writing, leaving mid-term and refusing to stay on the committees of any of his graduate students. Because he was the only remaining archaeologist in the department, Dr. <<Other Guy>> was assigned to serve as his replacement. He was unfamiliar with my work prior to this, and he made it clear that while he was willing to write me a letter of recommendation, this letter would serve as a relatively generic assessment of my capacity for scholarship. I reached out to my former supervisor many times, hoping to secure a more insightful letter, but all of my attempts at communication went unanswered. I mention this to underscore how extremely important it is to me that my doctoral supervisor functions as a mentor; someone who will act with integrity towards both their students and colleagues, and whose approach to teaching will allow me to explore collaborative opportunities that will advance my education as well as my career. After the conversations I have had with <<Dr. Nice Guy>> and his graduate students, I am positive that this is the environment I would find at <<Other School>>. 

[museum_geek]

This isn't too bad, especially since the SOP is for a POI you've spoken with a few times and who presumably has some background information on this whole situation.  There are a couple things that I would change to make it seem less "shit-talky" while still imparting how badly you got screwed over.

 

"My thesis supervisor retired as I was in the final stages of writing, leaving mid-term and refusing to stay on the committees of any of his graduate students."  

I would change this to: "My thesis supervisor retired as I was in the final stages of writing, leaving mid-term and declining to stay on the committees of any of his graduate students."

 

"I reached out to my former supervisor many times, hoping to secure a more insightful letter, but all of my attempts at communication went unanswered."

I might go with: "Multiple attempts to reach out and secure a more insightful letter from my former supervisor were unsuccessful."  

 

Just my two cents.  I think you can soften the verbiage a bit and still leave the impression that this guy sucks and you got screwed, without coming right out and saying it.  I really like how your last couple sentences turn this shitty situation into a positive for the future, though.  If anything I think that part will really shine through.  Good luck!

[FaultyPowers]

Good advice! I think you're right about replacing refused and ignored. And yeah I hope the last part is what comes through the most.

.... stupid, crappy, MA supervisor.

[AlphacentauriC]

I think that addressing issues about academics (bad grades, gaps in education history, bailing thesis advisor etc) is something done NOT in a SOP, but in s supplemental essay, preferrably one page long. The SOP is no place for such things.

 

The SOP is a place for your dreams, why i'm applying to this program?, how my experience will contribute to the progrsm, how my grandma inspired me to want to enter into geology etc. The admissions officers should be inspired when they read the SOP....Don't bore them.

Edited December 28, 2014 by AlphacentauriC

[rising_star]

OP, please don't put that in your SOP. Like none of it. It's completely out of place in a document where you're talking about your research interests and why you want to attend that program. (Also, don't include it because the language is off-putting and sorta reads like you're so difficult to work with that no one would write you a good letter, which I know isn't what you're trying to convey.)

[FaultyPowers]

Arg. See this is what's irritating, because my POI TOLD me to put it on there. And another POI TOLD me I should have put it in my SOP as well.

[FaultyPowers]

But I agree, I'd much rather leave it off and probably will because it just derails everything else I've built up in the SOP.

So now I'm wondering whether I should copy it into an extra essay our just leave it out entirely.

[MathCat]

Do the schools you are applying to allow for another place to include this information? If so, put it there. If not, I think it is highly relevant to how your application will be viewed, so unless one of your other letter writers could explain it for you, I don't see what choice you have. Can your new supervisor explain the situation in his letter?

 

Only one program I applied to had any second essay - if I needed to include such information, the SOP or a LOR would be the only places that I could. If you must include it in your SOP, I would probably shorten it, and definitely soften the language as museum_geek suggested. If it's just a few sentences, it will have less of a derailing effect on your narrative.

Edited December 28, 2014 by MathCat

[AlphacentauriC]

I think that the best strategy in turning in any application is to focus on the positives as much as possible. The negatives that need focus are those the adcom might ask questions about, say a low gpa etc. Again, when focusing on the few negatives, less detail is better, just a summary, overview is enough. Providing details, makes you come across as 'difficult to work with' as someone above pointed out. So, 99.9% of the application must be positives, 0.1% negatives...0% negatives, preferred. Negatives are not mention, even if they are there...

 

One more thing, I think that as an applicant it is within your rights to include any information that might enhance your application. So, even if the schools you are applying to dont say anything about a supplemental essay, turn it in anyway, the adcoms would be happy actually, as they wil see you as someone willing to provide them with the whole nine yards. 

Edited December 28, 2014 by AlphacentauriC

[smg]

FP, is there anyway to have one of your LORs address this issue rather than writing about it in your SOP?

[FaultyPowers]

I asked the new letter writer and he refuses to give me any details about what he's writing. He said he "thinks" he can portray me in a generally positive but generic way. When I asked him to make sure he included the reasons that he took over he ignored the request and replied to the email with "I haven't gotten an invite from that school yet".

It's frustrating because this is literally the only negative. My GPA is high, my GRE is almost perfect, presentations, publications, years of field experience, and I work as the research assistant to a pretty famous anthropologist. And he even asked me what was wrong with this guy when I showed him the emails! So I think relying on him to explain would be a mistake.

[FaultyPowers]

....ok the last part makes me sound egotistical! What I mean is that there is no other element of the application that I have to explain or apologize for. Which makes this bit about the letter even more derailing!!

[TakeruK]

I do not think you should put this in your SOP at all, and you should definitely not badger one of your other letter writers to mention it in their LOR. I think pushing it any further with your new letter writer will damage that relationship too! This is an issue between you and your former advisor; don't drag your new letter writer into it. 

 

Instead, almost every school will have a final page on the application form that asks "Anything else you would like to include" or something like that, with a big blank text box. I would simply write one sentence in this space, something like:

 

"My MA thesis supervisor, <<Dr. Supervisor>>, retired from <<Crappy Bad School>>, while I was writing my MA thesis and is unfortunately unavailable to write a letter of reference for my application."

 

Definitely do not convey any negative thoughts at all about your MA school no matter how much you want to. It's too bad that your MA supervisor isn't around to write your letter, and that is all you need to say. Anything additional negative thing you try to convey will just reflect more badly on you than on the MA school. 

 

Also, there may be very good reasons why the professor is not willing to spend any more time writing your LOR. Although I agree that writing LORs is one important part of being a professor, they might have very personal reasons to retire abruptly and cut off all ties with their old job! Your very long statement in your first post seems to imply that your supervisor has no integrity and that is a very serious accusation which you do not back up in that statement. Perhaps it is true that your supervisor has no integrity and perhaps you can back this up in a much longer statement, but your application is not the right place to make a case against your supervisor's integrity, whether it is well founded or not.

 

Instead, you just need to focus on the single aspect that is relevant to your application, which is the fact that your supervisor is now retired and you cannot get a LOR from them. Without that single sentence, it would be a "red flag" to <<Dr. Nice Guy>> because it would look like your supervisor refused to write you a letter, instead of the just being unavailable.

[FaultyPowers]

Thanks for all the advice guys! 

 

I have submitted this application, removing that paragraph from my SOP and not mentioning it at all. I've used the "Additional materials" section to mention it and I've removed all the blaming language, AND the bit about integrity and Dr. Nice Guy etc. Hopefully I've done it in a way that doesn't come off as blaming anyone for anything. 

[MathCat]

Thanks for all the advice guys! 

 

I have submitted this application, removing that paragraph from my SOP and not mentioning it at all. I've used the "Additional materials" section to mention it and I've removed all the blaming language, AND the bit about integrity and Dr. Nice Guy etc. Hopefully I've done it in a way that doesn't come off as blaming anyone for anything. 

That is definitely the place for it. It sounds to me like you've done this right. Good luck!