I'm a mess. Need help please.

[LemonadeStripes]

Hello. I've just finished the semester for my MS program. I took four classes, got three A's and one B. I am quite upset about the grade and contacted the teacher. This person who has not been particularly helpful in the past gave me an explanation which I don't totally agree with, but its not up to me, and there's nothing I can do about it but move on.

 

Problem is I was supposed to do a half-semester graded one-on-one lab project with her this spring in lieu of a traditional course. She is still offering to do the project but doesn't seem thrilled about it. School starts January 26 and I would rather take a traditional course instead of the one-on-one project but I don't want to piss off this person. My reason doesn't have anything to do with the grade. It is what it is. I just don't want to work with someone who (1) doesn't think my work meets their standards and (2) has and continues to be unsupportive.

 

But I am worried about changing my mind and making her mad or thinking I'm wishy washy. I surely don't plan on asking this person for letters of recommendation when I apply for jobs and possibly a PhD program but its a small field. Because of that I am most worried about who she knows and even if I don't use her as a reference later on, that won't stop schools I apply to from contacting her if they know her personally...

 

Any suggestions please? Having major anxiety. Thanks for reading. 

Edited January 9, 2015 by LemonadeStripes

[shadowclaw]

I personally wouldn't let a grade prevent me from working on a project, especially since research looks good to PhD programs. While it's not quite a direct comparison, there were multiple people in my department as an undergrad who routinely got B's and C's in everything. That didn't stop them from asking professors to work on projects, and once they were working on one, they were quite good at it. Furthermore, even if you did make a bad impression on this professor, doing this project and doing it well can easily turn that opinion around.

 

I don't know what this project entails, but it might be a little late to back out now. If she had to order supplies, they might now be wasted or maybe she really wants to do this project with someone and won't be able to find someone else to do it with you bailing so close to the beginning of the semester. There is always the possibility of someone contacting her in the future about your applications to PhD programs (someone recently posted about a PhD program contacting their graduate coordinator who was on bad terms with him). Will not doing this project make her mad enough that she will trash talk you if ever contacted? I don't know. Will you be losing out on gaining experience in lab techniques in your field? Yes. I don't think I'd turn it down, but that's just me.

[LemonadeStripes]

Sorry if I didn't make this clear but not wanting to work on the project doesn't have anything to with the grade in the previous course. Like I said, it is what it is and its not the end of the world. I was actually planning on continuing with the project until I spoke with her a week or so ago about it and for various reasons, she seemed not thrilled with doing it but didn't say she wouldn't.

 

Also, there are no additional costs or anything like that for the project so it wouldn't be putting her out financially and it was a project I initiated not something she needed help with for her own research so it wouldn't affect her in that way. 

 

As for the experience, I can do a traditional class, which would be along the same lines just not specific to what I wanted to work on.  She just hasn't been supportive at all in the past and I don't see that changing this time around. But again I'm worried if this will make her mad. 

 

Anyways, thanks for your help. You make great points.

[shadowclaw]

Sorry if I didn't make this clear but not wanting to work on the project doesn't have anything to with the grade in the previous course.

You did mention it in your first post, but the rest of the content in your post says otherwise. You began your initial post stating how upset you were that this person gave you a B. By stating this first, you are basically implying that the main  reason you are unhappy with this professor is due to the grade. Maybe it's not, but that's how it comes across to me. You then follow that up with stating that the professor doesn't think your work is up to her standards and that's why you don't want to work with her. Since the only work you've done for her was in this class, clearly the grades you've received on assignments and/or exams are influencing your desire to avoid this project. If you got an A in the course, you would instead feel that your work is up to her standards. Maybe it isn't the specific final grade that's influencing you, but at the very least, the feedback from the professor and your performance in this class is most definitely having an impact on your decision.

 

As for the experience, I can do a traditional class, which would be along the same lines just not specific to what I wanted to work on. She just hasn't been supportive at all in the past and I don't see that changing this time around. But again I'm worried if this will make her mad.

Since I don't even know what field you're in, I can't really make a good case for doing a project over taking a class. However, in my field at least, there is a big difference between taking a course in something and working on a project in that area. For example, I took a limnology course last year. I learned lots of field and lab techniques and got an A. However, working on a limnology-related project for two months would be more attractive to an adcomm than my course, and I'd learn many of the same techniques along the way.

[Eigen]

You say it doesn't have anything to do with the grade, but your reasons were that she thinks your work isn't up to her standards and that she isn't supportive- are you basing these conclusions off of something other than the grade?

 

If you're letting a B/bad feedback on your work prevent you from moving on in your research, that's something you need to deal with now, because the feedback will just get harsher further into graduate school, and a lot of being successful is being able to take harsh criticism, see what you need to do worthwhile with it, do it, and move on. 

[LemonadeStripes]

Hi shadowclaw and Eigen. The project has nothing to do with the course to be clear and I am basing my conclusions on things other than my grade. This includes her lack of support throughout the course of the semester (my only experience with her to go on) and conversation I have had with this teacher over the course of the last couple of weeks. I'm not trying to be cryptic but I don't like the idea of posting too much specific info online. My main reason is that she is extremely unsupportive and is one of those teachers who never fails to remind you how extremely busy she is. As per our conversation she has already stated the many things she doesn't have time in her schedule for regarding the project and makes me feel like this whole thing is a burden to her. Also, I don't feel that this is a personal issue she has with me at all but we just don't see eye to eye, which to me is important.  

 

The criticism too really isn't the issue. I am able to deal with it and I totally get that it won't be the last time it happens. I'm not a delicate flower. I get this is grad school. But I was quite shocked at some of the things she said that factored into the grade and quite frankly don't agree with them. But its not up to me and it is what it is. 

 

So is the grade factoring into my decision? Sure maybe it is a little bit. But my point is that I don't feel comfortable working with someone who is too busy to be supportive and actually be a teacher and who I don't think I am on the same page with.

 

Also this person is not my advisor nor is her research in the same concentration as mine. And if I don't do the project it is not in any way going to prevent me from moving on in my research. It was just something that came up two semesters ago that we agreed to work on because of an overlapping interest and its either the project or a class. Both are three credits and the same grading policy applies. 

 

To my original question, I just don't want to come off as rude by changing my mind and I was posting here to see if anyone had any opinions as to how this might affect me later if like I said, someone on an admissions committee happens to know her personally when I apply for PhD programs. I obviously don't expect anyone to know for sure how she may or may not perceive this, just looking for general opinions or if someone may have had a similar experience. 

 

Thanks for your help.

[lyonessrampant]

If I were you, I'd tell her that you know she is really busy and has other obligations and that you are happy to take a course (I'd specify which course or possible courses you are interested in taking) in place of this project.  Basically, give her an easy out in a way that lets both of you save face.  If she really doesn't want to do the project, then she can say something like "yeah, that course is a good choice for you."  If she does actually want to do the project, then she can tell you that.  If you really don't want to do the project, which is what it sounds like from your posts, you can just tell her that, but I agree it seems pretty late to back out.  I'd try to get her to be the one who decides not to go ahead with the project.

[bsharpe269]

If I were you, I'd tell her that you know she is really busy and has other obligations and that you are happy to take a course (I'd specify which course or possible courses you are interested in taking) in place of this project.  Basically, give her an easy out in a way that lets both of you save face.  If she really doesn't want to do the project, then she can say something like "yeah, that course is a good choice for you."  If she does actually want to do the project, then she can tell you that.  If you really don't want to do the project, which is what it sounds like from your posts, you can just tell her that, but I agree it seems pretty late to back out.  I'd try to get her to be the one who decides not to go ahead with the project.

 

This is great advice! I'd go with that. I would say that you know shes busy and you have two great options and ask which is better for her with her busy schedule.

[TMP]

Believe me, most professors wouldn't mind students backing out of a commitment that would otherwise have zero benefit to them (most of the time, they don't get credit for independent study/research toward sabbatical/tenure/promotion the way we do toward graduation).  The key is just going about it in a very gracious way as the above posters have mentioned.  

 

Don't panic over this, she'll be fine.

[LemonadeStripes]

All great advice - thanks guys! I will contact her as you all suggested.