Dealing with Rejection

[manda3124]

just found this post and definitely helping me deal with the likely prospect of being rejected across the board two years in a row.  thanks to all for sharing perspective

 

I agree with Henry Hudson--trying to figure out what to do in the next year before hearing again

[nerdguy]

I'll give my short story:

 

I finished my undergrad in 2009 at a big, moderately well-ranked state university. Great GPA, loved the history program and the professors, and knew that I wanted to apply for a history PhD that fall. I thought I had a shot. Shored up my LOR support, researched programs, and wrote my SOP, but I was honestly incapable of planning and pitching a feasible and specific research project. Naturally I was rejected from seven programs flat out, and luckily admitted into three entirely unfunded MA programs - one from a top ten university. Knowing that it would saddle me with loads of debt, I went to the top ten school to do my MA anyway. It was incredibly challenging, but it gave me the skills necessary to do real academic work and write a good SOP. After finishing that degree in 2011, I took three years to live abroad, boost my language skills to the point of being effectively tri-lingual, and rethink my project. And the results of this year's applications have reflected my hard work and commitment. So far I have been accepted with full fellowship to no less than four top universities - two of them in the top ten. Maybe I'll even have some more acceptances if I'm lucky. But the point is none of this was easy, all of it required time, effort, and tough decisions, and the endgame payoff is still far away and will require more hard work.

 

To those who succeeded, great job! To those who haven't yet, don't give up if you don't want to. Remember, going into academia IS one of the most intellectually stimulating careers out there, and you DO have a shot if you keep trying.

 

Also, rejection may also give you an opportunity to explore another creative outlet. So don't be stubborn. I used my three years in limbo to write and record music and learn a bit about audio engineering as well. I launched a Kickstarter page and, like the hipster I want to be, even raised enough funds to press my album on vinyl. Another dream of mine accomplished.

 

So don't get depressed about any of this!

Edited February 13, 2015 by nerdguy

[dr. t]

This is my second application cycle - my first ended with rejections from all 7 PhD programs and 2 MA offers, each partially funded. I thought I was ready for doctoral work when I applied, but the admissions committees were right. I wasn't. My app this year was so much stronger. I was able to articulate my research interests and goals much more firmly.

 

So, keep at it.

[ForlornHope]

My own experience has been driving my mind to various paths depending on every outcome. So far I am down two rejections, and still waiting for five of the pending applications. I finished my undergraduate degree in medieval studies in 2010. Unfortunately, I was not well-groomed for graduate work as the program at my university was having an identity crisis. I had very little direct faculty interaction and – though I should have proactively sought it out myself – even less advising.

 

To make matters worse… my language training was in French and Old/Middle English. Four years later after a many personal troubles and life-changes, I finally got back on track and scrambled to improve my standing for the current applications. I took two semesters of graduate courses for good recommendations and writing samples, as well as devoted time to Latin studies at home. I was astounded to hear that so many programs expect training in French, German, Latin, etc. for their competitive applicants. Quite frankly I couldn’t even imagine having done that as an undergrad and also meeting prerequisites, but that is beside point.

 

I applied, though, with high hopes. Now, as the months are dragging on, my confidence is waning, as well. Particularly, given the fact that I feel entirely behind in language credentials and never could have dreamed of affording going abroad at any time in my life. Academic opportunities often can shut out the underfunded. So I am anxiously awaiting further results.

 

 

In hindsight of this all, I half wonder if this was a good idea in the first place. I am already reaching 27 years, and know that the next 5-6 will put most life goals on hold. I have alternatives, fortunately, and may consider applying to law school should this go sour, but I couldn’t imagine what I would do at this point if I went through the process of complete rejection and did not have my wife to rely on. She is finishing her own doctoral degree at this moment, and the stress of these months have pushed us both to a breaking point. At the very least, I may end up saving myself from even more struggles after I finish my Ph.D work if I do not have to search for those Ivory Tower academic jobs.

 

Who knows what the future holds? I just thought perhaps others might benefit knowing that not everyone has the drive repeat this process. You aren’t alone, and it isn’t the end of the world if you call things off. This is not upright negativity and nay-saying, I hope, but realism and practicality must often govern our lives.

Edited February 13, 2015 by ForlornHope

[Aubstopper]

I am in total agreement with the fact that academic opportunities can shut out the unfunded. It can also shut out people who have children, are married/in a serious relationship, and who took any time off between any degree. 

 

I sort of lucked out though on the language front. I can't really pretend that I knew what I wanted to do with my life until the middle of the first year of my MA program, but I filled up a lot of my elective credits for my majors with language courses because I love grammar (I've studied something like 6 languages). After I graduated from UofC and was barely shut out of 2 phd programs (made the short list at UCLA and Cornell) and given an MA option with reconsideration for PhD program after a year (Columbia's program was in major flux re: modern Jewish studies), I decided to take some time off from academia. It was only supposed to be a year of working to pay down my loans, but my health quickly declined and the job market was awful. I was simultaneously over and underqualified for every job I applied to thanks to my education, and I had to dumb down my resume in order to get even the most basic of positions. I did receive job offers from the government (CIA, DIA, etc) who heavily recruited people in my MA program (an inordinate number of CIA analysts are UofC grads), but I didn't want a career--I just wanted something that could allow me to get back to academia or provided relevant training. 

 

I still need German proficiency (it's extremely important to my interests as well as a requirement in most Humanities departments) and even when I was working at Northwestern and getting 80% tuition remission for all courses, I never had the time. I realized then how difficult it would be to do anything academia-related (such as language learning, traveling, research) AND pay the bills unless I was already in academia and someone else was paying my bills. I struggled SO much just to get to the point of applying again and I had to start saving a year ago for this entire process. As it is, I don't have the money to visit schools or the time to take off of work. It's difficult sometimes for me to not feel frustrated/jealous/depressed to see how easy some of the posters on this site have had it (financially) to be able to do the things that they have done. 

I went all in this round. I literally poured myself into these apps; I tried my absolute best. I haven't heard back from any schools either way yet, but given that my current job is only keeping me until I (potentially) leave for graduate school, it's a distinct possibility that I could be rejected from everywhere as well as a jobless at the end of this cycle. Everyone tells me "oh, you're one the smartest people I know. I'm sure you'll get in everywhere." It's hard to explain that intelligence and acceptance into a grad program don't necessarily go hand-in-hand and it's even more difficult to relay the fact to someone like your boss. 

This is also pretty depressing: Systematic inequality and hierarchy in faculty hiring networks

 

Edited February 14, 2015 by Aubstopper

[Chiqui74]

The thing is, no one knows what other people go through to get where they are.  For example, I have zero student loants, and people who don't know me often make snide remarks about my financial state. What they don't know, however, is that I exchanged college financing for years in the military.  During those years, I went to war and saw all its horror.  For years, I lived in fear that I would be deployed again to the Middle East.  I am lucky to be alive, many in my position can't say the same. So while I don't have any student loans, it doesn't mean that it came easy. 

 

Of course, I don't expect everyone to do this, and it certainly isn't for everyone, just wanted to say that the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

 

Also, I did my entire undergrad either heavily pregnant or with a baby/toddler/preschooler. As ashiepoo surely knows, it's freaking hard.

 

As for the PhD, I am incredibly lucky to be married to someone who is incredibly supportive, and made wise career choices, and I do count my lucky stars for that.  I am aware that many people call this "the husband endowment" but I cannot feel bad nor let it undermine my own accomplishments.  I come from a working class family and I have fought hard to make a better life for myself.  Husband or no husband, no one can take my accomplishments away from me.

 

Life is tough; sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down.  It is what it is.

 

And yes, the idea of not being able to get a good job, TT or non-academic, after spending years and years pursueing a PhD does terrify me.  I am definitely not made to be a lady who lunches.

Edited February 14, 2015 by Chiqui74

[ashiepoo72]

Chiqui -- anyone who tries to minimize your accomplishments because you have a supportive and loving partner is an asshole. As I often like to say, they don't know your life!

 

I think everyone on this board knows how brutal life can sometimes be. Let's continue to be supportive and forward thinking so we can inject that good will into our profession when we come out the other side of our doctoral programs.

[disposableheroes]

This is also my second round. I went to a community college where I constantly changed majors. After that, I transferred to a State University where I took my studies a little more seriously. I thought I was ready for doctoral work so the first time around I only applied to three Graduate Programs, thinking my first choice would accept me. WRONG. I got accepted into an M.A. Program at another State University, partially funded. On my second year, I was able to secure a stipend and a tuition waiver (but those fees I had to pay kinda felt like tuition).

 

Suffice to say, NOW I feel at least a little bit ready to engage into doctoral level work. At my current school, I greatly improved my reading, research and writing skills. I felt confident enough to apply to top-tier programs and although I was rejected by some, at least now I have a choice to make when it comes to my future. Before, I did not. 

[Aubstopper]

My post certainly was not meant as an attack against anyone, but rather, underlying the fact that there are certain things that happen in the course of our lives that can make the road a little harder or at least place limits on our possible choices. I certainly was not referring to anyone in this particular thread/board subsection nor trying to lessen other people's accomplishments; however, not having money and long gaps in education (esp in areas that require multiple languages) are both a real hindrance to having access to the best and most elite programs. I was also not insinuating anything about people with supportive partners--I was more so referring to people who have parents to pay their way through. A girl I went to school with, her parents paid for her entire MA and they paid for her PhD in history at Oxford. There were unfortunately an inordinate amount of trust fund kids that I happened to run into with relatives on university boards who have skewed my views on the fairness of the whole enterprise.   

I'm not insinuating either that I've had things worse off than others by any means---was just trying to tell my story.

 

My mother, now a professor, was discouraged from going to college and didn't start until I was 2. When I was 18, she received her doctorate. So I have the utmost respect for parents (especially single mothers) who are doing the whole grad school thing. I know from her experience that we could not move out of state (due to custody issues) so she had to turn down some really great opportunities. Then later when she was offered a position at Harvard, she had to turn that down as well.

Edited February 15, 2015 by Aubstopper

[ashiepoo72]

My post certainly was not meant as an attack against anyone, but rather, underlying the fact that there are certain things that happen in the course of our lives that can make the road a little harder or at least place limits on our possible choices. I certainly was not referring to anyone in this particular thread/board subsection nor trying to lessen other people's accomplishments; however, not having money and long gaps in education (esp in areas that require multiple languages) are both a real hindrance to having access to the best and most elite programs.

I'm not insinuating either that I've had things worse off than others by any means---was just trying to tell my story.

 

My mother, now a professor, was discouraged from going to college and didn't start until I was 2. When I was 18, she received her doctorate. So I have the utmost respect for parents (especially single mothers) who are doing the whole grad school thing. I know from her experience that we could not move out of state (due to custody issues) so she had to turn down some really great opportunities. Then later when she was offered a position at Harvard, she had to turn that down as well.

 

Oh no! I wasn't directing that at you! I can see how it would come across that way, and I sincerely apologize!

 

What I should've said is that, for me, having a partner made school more difficult, so people who pass judgment on those with a support network are only looking at the surface. Granted, my ex-partner was the opposite of supportive, but my going to school forced him to deal with my struggles--asking another person to deal with that can be a huge burden. Now that it's just me and my daughter, decision making is much easier. I'm not saying being single is easier, I'm saying both come with different kinds of difficulties.

 

I completely relate to anyone who did not have money for school. I had to take out loans in my undergrad and MA, so those are going to be fun to pay back later. To add insult to injury, I still had to work to survive and will have nothing to show for it money-wise, but at least I completed my degree. Having a child is probably one of the easiest things in my life...she provides me with clarity and endless gifts of artwork. I won't lie and say having her during undergrad was easy (there were times I wished I could just stay pregnant til I finished...no need to worry about babysitters, changings or feedings!), but it made me more focused because I had someone else relying on me. 

[mvlchicago]

You're all fantastic for the routes you've taken, the time you've spent and how you've gotten here. I got extraordinarily lucky through my journey: my undergrad was at UChicago, and I received a basically-full scholarship to make my full participation in the intellectual community there possible. I had to work a part-time job, but even that was as a research assistant in the Political Science Department. This year I've been writing freelance while working on the applications, and received a Ph.D offer at Brown (worth noting, I was rejected from Brown last year.)

I think the languages barrier is incredibly hard to break without access to a formal course. That being said, if you can find a couple friends who can get you through learning the grammar and being able to *read* texts, the comp exams for languages are usually pretty straightforward (At UChicago, you were given a dictionary with the passages you had to translate.) 
 

The economic recession has made life really difficult for 20-somethings across the board, and the fact that any of us have gotten this far in what's been the worst entry point since WWII is remarkable enough. So I cannot express how much admiration I have for all of you, independent of the outcomes. 

[Aubstopper]

Oh good! I was hoping I wasn't the 'asshole' you were referring to! I was thinking that I somehow managed to offend single mothers, supportive partners, the military, etc all in one full swipe.

Ya, I didn't even take out loans for my actual degrees, but to do intensive language learning and to travel the world. It was seriously the best time of my life and led to experiences that I wouldn't take back for the world, but was not careful and did not think about the financial consequences. oopsies.

My mother worked SO hard to make sure I was debt-free as an undergrad, but as a result of her student loans, my only option was community college --> state school. Luckily, the state schools in cali are among the best in country, so I'm not complaining, but private universities were never an option. My dad is extremely wealthy (he works in Hollywood), so the whole FAFSA thing was skewed. They were under the impression my parents had the money to pay for my whole undergrad when in reality it would have been only my mother helping me out.

Im single, never married, no children---just a temperamental cat.

[Chiqui74]

When I first declared History as my major, I wanted to be a medievalist.  Sadly, my school had nothing in the way of medieval anything so I couldn't learn the languages or take more than 1 history course in the subfield.  I am a native speaker of a different language, which makes it possible for me to use that as my foreign language for an American History PhD.  That is not to say that AH is a consolation prize.  I quickly came to realize that I truly do like Early AH, to the early-mid 18th century, even if Medieval History is what brought me to History in the first place. 

 

I still want to learn other languages, and will probably take one of my summers in the PhD program to learn one.  I have VERY basic knowledge of Italian, I lived there for some time, but it's been years since I used it last and I'm very rusty.  I might delve deeper into that.  If not, then I'd love learn French.

[ashiepoo72]

Aubstopper....you are the furthest thing from an asshole. I'm sorry it sounded like I thought you were! Everyone here is so great, just like mvlchicago said. I truly admire you guys.

[dr. t]

It's interesting that so many of us on this board have taken non-standard routes to academia. As I've said elsewhere, I was thrown out of college (twice!) in my early twenties, and it took me 9 years to finish my BA.

 

Being bad at something is the first step towards being sorta good at something!

[Chiqui74]

I think the idea of the traditional student is pretty much anachronistic now. 

[dr. t]

Hah, maybe. I see all these Harvard undergraduates scurrying around, each with a Plan that they've had since they were 14 or something, so my perspective is biased!

[L13]

All the stories here are very inspirational and you all have my admiration! Thanks for sharing them and good luck in all your future endeavors!

 

To contribute my own circumstances to this thread, I took a year off between high school and college upon realizing in the eleventh hour that I wanted to study something academic rather than go to art school, but in all other respects I've had a very conventional, sheltered academic career. I'm currently a senior in college and applying mostly to master's programs. I also applied to two PhD programs, but my December applications were rushed and less polished than they should have been, so I never seriously expected an acceptance to come out of them. I did get an interview at Harvard, though, which was flattering and confirmed my belief that it's a great fit for my interests. I'll most likely reapply there next year, but not to UChicago. Hilariously, I rushed through my statement of purpose for UChicago on the day the application was due and realized as I was writing it that I didn't actually have much to do with the department there. No doubt they thought the same thing.

 

My realistic plan was always to get a master's degree next year and then get a PhD, or, in case no master's program offered me funding, simply to wait and apply to a broader range of PhD programs next fall. I'm quite happy with this course of action because I believe finishing my senior thesis, getting good grades this year, completing my first year of German, and having more time to focus on my school selection and statements of purpose would place me in a much stronger position when I reapply.

 

My only hope/worry is related to money as funding for master's programs is really difficult to obtain and it would seriously bum me out if I had to turn down Cambridge (or Oxford/Fordham/CEU, if I get into those) because I couldn't afford to go. But for now, I have enough to worry about at school, with my thesis, classes, and last months in college consuming my attention.

 

Overall, even though I assume I've been rejected by the two PhD programs I applied to, I'm not really that upset. I think it's because I was a colossal slacker in high school, which made it difficult to get into a good college. I am actually attending an excellent college, but to this day I have no idea why they accepted me; I collected more than my fair share of rejections during my long and depressing gap year in addition to that acceptance. Moreover, my college grades, while solid, are far from perfect, and I've applied for a lot of distinctions and awards that I haven't gotten. In short, I'm an old hand at reconciling myself with rejection, and usually prepare for it well in advance. I've found that going through, and seriously considering, the worst-case scenario in your head when you send off a bunch of applications is really helpful because 1) then you'll know what to do if the worst possible outcome comes to pass, and won't waste emotional energy wondering where your life is going while also processing your sadness, and 2) the worst-case scenario doesn't actually become reality all that often, so you're very likely to be pleasantly surprised by whatever happens to you, or at least able to appreciate the fact things could have been worse. Basically, the habit of pondering your worst fears for the future can train you to be more adaptable when disappointing things happen to you for real, at least in my experience.

Edited February 15, 2015 by L13

[ToomuchLes]

What do you guys think about teaching english abroad, or working with an NGO, if I were to get rejected from all schools this year? Can that improve an application?

[maelia8]

@LeventeL, that could definitely help! That's what I did for two years (initially with Fulbright) and it really, really helped my grad school application, as well as giving me a lot of time to think about why I wanted to get a Ph.D. and how to articulate that in my statement. It's a great idea

[Fianna]

LeventeL, it certainly won't hurt, I don't think. A lot of schools like to see some sort of teaching experience. Also, if you try it and discover that you really don't like teaching, that could help you decide whether you want to do the PhD after all or if you want to think about other ways you can use it, if you don't want to teach. 

 

I have a discussion section this semester, partially to figure that out before I committed the next 6 years of my life to chasing the academic dream. We all love to do research, but the reality of academia is that you do more teaching than researching/writing/presenting.

[Chiqui74]

I have an acquaintance whose fellowship didn't require her to teach but she chose to do so on her second year for the experience.  She hated it. She hated it so much she seriously considered quitting.  Then she decided to keep going but not concentrate on academia as the end goal.  She loves public history and historical preservation she that's what she's been doing in the summers with a historical society.

[ashiepoo72]

LeventeL--my teaching experience definitely helped me. There's an expectation that grad students TA at most programs, and once you're on the job market that experience is crucial. I would highly recommend getting some sort of teaching experience, however that may be.

[Fianna]

I wish that I had another semester of time at UNLV to take some of the public history classes. That's certainly something I'd be interested in considering as a career. I've also thought about educational tourism as a way to use my PhD in the event that TT jobs are still as hard to come by when I finish. We've been lucky to be able to fill 3 TT positions here while I've been in the MA program, and the number of vita that came in for each job posting was huge. Sometimes I wonder if I'm insane to do this, but getting this degree was always a dream/goal of mine and I know I'm really lucky to have the chance to do it.

[jhat]

Right now I'm thinking: why did my professors tell me to aim so high? If I would have stuck to my original, realistic list, I probably would have been accepted somewhere. Now I'm facing the very real possibility of being rejected from all 10 programs I applied to. This stinks.