Decisions

[silenus_thescribe]

Alright guys, I've made my decision - BC it is for a two year Masters in English!! Thanks to everyone for all your helpful input over this year... I really can't thank you enough! =]

 

Congrats! You'll be in a cohort with a friend of mine.

[windrainfireandbooks]

The past few months, weeks, and days have been a roller coaster ride but...dare I say it?...I will be attending Toronto this fall!

And, though I won't be moving to the UK for my PhD studies, yesterday I learned that my summer is going to be spent doing some pretty awesome academic work in England! I am ecstatic! It will be a wonderful way to relax, grow, and prep for PhD life.

Phew! Thank you so much to everyone who has been on this roller coaster ride with me. Couldn't have come through it all in one piece without your insight and support. And so many congrats! Cannot wait to see all the awesome things we do in this next chapter of our academic lives!

[empress-marmot]

The past few months, weeks, and days have been a roller coaster ride but...dare I say it?...I will be attending Toronto this fall!

And, though I won't be moving to the UK for my PhD studies, yesterday I learned that my summer is going to be spent doing some pretty awesome academic work in England! I am ecstatic! It will be a wonderful way to relax, grow, and prep for PhD life.

Phew! Thank you so much to everyone who has been on this roller coaster ride with me. Couldn't have come through it all in one piece without your insight and support. And so many congrats! Cannot wait to see all the awesome things we do in this next chapter of our academic lives!

 

Congratulations on your decision! Have fun this summer! 

[windrainfireandbooks]

Congratulations on your decision! Have fun this summer! 

 

Unfortunately I am out of upvotes (or I would upvote your congratulations), but thank you so much! 

[cjmullis]

Alright guys, I've made my decision - BC it is for a two year Masters in English!! Thanks to everyone for all your helpful input over this year... I really can't thank you enough! =]

 

Congrats! My best friend is finishing her first year in the program and she has had only great things to say about it.

[BLeonard]

So here's my current dilemma; I really appreciate everyone's help with my decision. My decision is still about 80/20 towards not going/going, but I want to see if I can make it work if possible. That's not what I'm concerned about at the moment. My problem is that I have a mentor at my UGI who's supported and encouraged me through the entire process, and they are advocating very strongly for me to attend Brandeis. They've said that they will support whatever decision I make, but I feel like if I turn it down, I would be letting them down. I don't want to do that, obviously, but I also am having a hard time illustrating why turning the program down would be the best move at this time. (Particularly since, months after the fact, this person has indicated that my writing/portfolio/project is not nearly strong enough to get me into a top program, even with a year or an MA to work on it.) Part of that might be just because I hate letting anyone down, but it was because of this person that I seriously considered grad school in the first place. I think I'm just thrown/lost/whatever. 

[CarolineNC]

Would you be attending Brandeis for the PhD or MA? Is it funded? 

 

Also, "this person has indicated that my writing/portfolio/project is not nearly strong enough to get me into a top program, even with a year or an MA to work on it" UMMMM... I don't know you or this person who told you this, but I kind of want to slap him or her. The MA can work wonders. 

[BLeonard]

It's a funded PhD at Brandeis for five years. 

[ToldAgain]

My problem is that I have a mentor at my UGI who's supported and encouraged me through the entire process, and they are advocating very strongly for me to attend Brandeis. They've said that they will support whatever decision I make, but I feel like if I turn it down, I would be letting them down.

I have to say, as somebody who was facing pressure from all sides when making my decision, that the fear of letting somebody down cannot be a factor in your decision, especially when the say they will support whatever decision you make. Your mentor realizes that you have to do what you think is best for your future, and you are the one that has to live in that future. My advise to you is: What would you do if this feeling of pressure was not a factor? Do that.

 

As a side note, once I made my decision I thought I would get some really frosty emails from the people pressuring me to take other options. To the contrary, everybody was warm and kind and wonderful and wished me great luck in the future. Exactly nobody took my decision personally.

[CarolineNC]

Oh, well I'd take it. Brandeis is a great school.

[BLeonard]

I'd like to take it too, but there are other factors that I've sort of discussed to death, chiefly, my spouse can't leave her job, it would be challenging for her to find work in MA if she did, and we can't afford two residences -- even an apartment -- right now. 

[empress-marmot]

I'd like to take it too, but there are other factors that I've sort of discussed to death, chiefly, my spouse can't leave her job, it would be challenging for her to find work in MA if she did, and we can't afford two residences -- even an apartment -- right now. 

 

If you think that this program is going to make you unhappy (due to inadequate housing, financial issues, not being near your spouse), then you should not attend. I don't think any opportunity is worth feeling awful, especially if you keep feeling awful for the entire PhD program.

 

However, if you think a lot of the concerns might clear up within a year, that's a different consideration. 

[jpop]

Real quick, is deferring an option? If it were me I'd defer. If that's not an option, know that the consequences of the decision are 100% yours--regardless of your mentor's input. And I think you can be very humble and tell said mentor you're incredibly grateful, but that personally this isn't the right choice for you and your family right now. The other thing is that grad school isn't going anywhere. While yes, pouring heart and soul into apps and bemoaning this process can make it feel all or nothing, the truth is school is going anywhere and it's possible the timing is just off. You will be just as smart, capable a year from now when you've had time to iron out making this move a real possibility. Hang in there. 

[AsKingfishersCatchFire.]

Will be attending the University of Iowa for the English PhD (MA along the way), full-funded all six years! Grateful for the support and helpful insight on this forum. I hope everyone has found good news themselves.