Opinions on physical attraction

[spellbanisher]

Choosing partners based on physical attraction is so shallow. Looks fade, a large diversified investment portfolio lasts forever. 

Edited March 22, 2015 by spellbanisher

[Cheshire_Cat]

I am not attracted to someone unless I feel an emotional bond with them.  I can acknowledge that some are better looking than others, but that is completely different than being attracted to them.
That being said, I do have some features that I think are better looking than others.  But you could have all those features, and unless I liked your personality, I wouldn't be attracted to you.

My first thought upon seeing the last guy I dated for the first time was "Man, that is one awkward looking guy.  Friendzone!"  He was tiny(and I'm kind of large/tall), had long hair, but was balding at the same time, neck was too long, wore clothing two sizes too big for him, and had a spotty beard and acne scars.  But then his personality won me over.  And then I saw beautiful big brown eyes, kissable lips and neck, a mischievous smile that just the hint of it would make me grin, and I found his compact body very sexy. (Also, he was incredibly brilliant, funny, and kind, and those are the things that first make me take a second look and un-friendzone him.)
So yeah, things change.  But I've always liked big brown eyes, (and smaller guys, even though I didn't admit it until him) so there was that start there, but there were also other things that kept me from noticing the things I found attractive until I got to know his personality.  Now we are no longer dating, but still in the same friend group and I still can't help but notice his attractive features and I don't see him as awkward looking anymore at all.  Unfortunately, I don't think I was comfortable being attracted to him for a while because other people would think it was weird because I'm about 4 inches taller than he, so I think that hurt things.  Even though I found him cute, I knew what other people saw, and it wasn't okay with that, and while there were a lot of other reasons the relationship ended, I really wish I had been less concerned about that.

 

[Pitangus]

I've been with my boyfriend for 8 years, and I don't think that would have been the case if we weren't both physically and emotionally attracted to and compatible with each other. I don't rank people on any sort of numbered attractiveness scale; that said, I can't think of anyone I've met that I've found more attractive than my boyfriend in terms of overall looks. I've met guys with nice features, but my boyfriend has everything I like in terms of face, body, hair, clothes, etc.

And I certainly have nowhere near the emotional connection with anyone else.

It's possible that my attraction to his personality influenced my physical attraction (we were friends as kids), but the physical attraction is definitely there (if it wasn't then we would have stayed just friends).  

[Rylai]

My SO started out as an online friend, and I became attracted to his personality before I knew what he looked out. Luckily we both ended up being attracted to each other physically as well, but I wonder if we would have worked out if that hadn't been the case, even though we shared such an intimate mental and emotional connection.

 

My brother also met a girl online, and while I love my brother. . . I gotta say she is way out of his league in terms of physical attractiveness. But they seem really happy, so I guess for some people looks just don't matter as much. (And she's definitely not a gold-digger because he lives with my parents and works at McDonalds, lol.)

[CoolZero]

I am not attracted to someone unless I feel an emotional bond with them.  I can acknowledge that some are better looking than others, but that is completely different than being attracted to them.

That being said, I do have some features that I think are better looking than others.  But you could have all those features, and unless I liked your personality, I wouldn't be attracted to you.

My first thought upon seeing the last guy I dated for the first time was "Man, that is one awkward looking guy.  Friendzone!"  He was tiny(and I'm kind of large/tall), had long hair, but was balding at the same time, neck was too long, wore clothing two sizes too big for him, and had a spotty beard and acne scars.  But then his personality won me over.  And then I saw beautiful big brown eyes, kissable lips and neck, a mischievous smile that just the hint of it would make me grin, and I found his compact body very sexy. (Also, he was incredibly brilliant, funny, and kind, and those are the things that first make me take a second look and un-friendzone him.)

So yeah, things change.  But I've always liked big brown eyes, (and smaller guys, even though I didn't admit it until him) so there was that start there, but there were also other things that kept me from noticing the things I found attractive until I got to know his personality.  Now we are no longer dating, but still in the same friend group and I still can't help but notice his attractive features and I don't see him as awkward looking anymore at all.  Unfortunately, I don't think I was comfortable being attracted to him for a while because other people would think it was weird because I'm about 4 inches taller than he, so I think that hurt things.  Even though I found him cute, I knew what other people saw, and it wasn't okay with that, and while there were a lot of other reasons the relationship ended, I really wish I had been less concerned about that.

 

Many times this.

I considered myself as someone who would not care about other people's opinions on my relationship, but I should say in one of my relationships this concern was a totally hard-to-deal-with one.

 

Back on topic, I won't get into a relationship with someone I can not find physically attractive at all. Depending on the personality the attractiveness changes, but at first, the physical attraction is all you can see in the other person.

[Scarf in the wind]

If you're unattractive, then you're fighting an uphill battle.

 

It's not wrong to admit that I want attraction and if a guy doesn't catch my eye I'm not going to go out of my way to get romantically involved. It's no different than anything anyone else said.  I admit maybe I should have worded it better or explained but when you initially see someone you see what they look like not their personality. Personality is important but for me I will figure that out later I want to go to the hottie before I want to go to the not hottie.  I mean let's be honest.  I am a shallow person and I admit it, I would likely stick it out with a less than ideal personality before I would go for what I think is less than attractive.  So when I said if they are unattractive I don't want to get to know them... I was being honest. If you don't like it... too bad I don't care about you or your opinion of me

 

I agree with you. Looks beat personality. Personality shines when, for some odd reason, a woman gives a guy a shot, or initially friend-zoned him.

[Page228]

My SO started out as an online friend, and I became attracted to his personality before I knew what he looked out. Luckily we both ended up being attracted to each other physically as well, but I wonder if we would have worked out if that hadn't been the case

I had the "what if" situation here: We were online friends, developed deep feelings, THEN met in person... And the physical attraction/chemistry just wasn't there. I hoped that I would learn to feel differently, but it never happened. Instead, the emotional distance between us grew until we called it quits.

Never again.

[RCtheSS]

I had the "what if" situation here: We were online friends, developed deep feelings, THEN met in person... And the physical attraction/chemistry just wasn't there. I hoped that I would learn to feel differently, but it never happened. Instead, the emotional distance between us grew until we called it quits.

Never again.

 

To add to my fellow online friend-"what if" experience (which had already included a sizable amount of "sexting" before the first meet-up), the physical chemistry was definitely there--hands down, strongest attraction I've felt for someone and the feelings were reciprocated in full. Personality-wise we are fairly opposite, but it's not to the point where it ruins the rest of the package, so to speak; we agree on enough things and don't get into arguments over our differences.

 

But now it's a matter of keeping the physical contact going, since we're about 2.5 hours separated by vehicle. Not too bad of a distance for me, but planning visits has come to a stand still and that's starting to annoy me.

[TenaciousBushLeaper]

To add to my fellow online friend-"what if" experience (which had already included a sizable amount of "sexting" before the first meet-up), the physical chemistry was definitely there--hands down, strongest attraction I've felt for someone and the feelings were reciprocated in full. Personality-wise we are fairly opposite, but it's not to the point where it ruins the rest of the package, so to speak; we agree on enough things and don't get into arguments over our differences.

 

But now it's a matter of keeping the physical contact going, since we're about 2.5 hours separated by vehicle. Not too bad of a distance for me, but planning visits has come to a stand still and that's starting to annoy me.

It sounds like he/she has found another D/V 

[RCtheSS]

We're still on regular speaking terms, just haven't pinpointed when we'll see each other next. He's going through health issues and work keeps piling on here, so for now I'm staying patient. Reeeeally wanting that physical reconnection though, if ya know what I mean.