SoP Introductions...

[JackieW]

...are hard to write.

Just wanted to share. Grr.

[joro]

Yes they are, I'm currently on my 3rd revision.

[cheesethunder]

i agree!!

i wrote one to ubc then realized that i wasn't a good 'fit' or i just couldn't take one of my profs ripping it apart haha

how do you start them? i was trying to think of a hook but.......couldn't think of anything.

[joro]

i agree!!

i wrote one to ubc then realized that i wasn't a good 'fit' or i just couldn't take one of my profs ripping it apart haha

how do you start them? i was trying to think of a hook but.......couldn't think of anything.

You should try this since you're in psychology, "Accept me into your program or die!!!". Then come up with a witty response about how people would psychologically react to that.

My intro isn't too special, just an intro briefly covering my fascination with the field, what I've done in preparation, conferences, and research interest. Not sure if this is a good approach, but I will find out once I send it to my LoR for advice.

[rogue]

The intro has to be the hardest part of the whole statement. I'm applying to two different types of programs and thus have to write two very different essays. The hook for one of them came to me completely out of the blue, days after I'd written the first draft of that essay. Everyone who has read it seems to like it. The other essay? Not so much. I can't for the life of me find a good intro/hook for that one. It's killing me.

[shai]

can anyone give examples of hooks ? lets say 2-3 first sentences ?

[rainy_day]

I bought Donald Asher's Graduate School Essays, and it's been really helpful so far. He has a lot of info about how to brainstorm, and there are lots of examples in the book, for different disciplines.

The book is for *everyone* so sometimes the advice isn't so fitting (i.e. would be more approiate for professional degrees, rather than PhDs) but overall I think it was a great purchase.

[viavoice]

Shai,

it took me a month to come up with my "hook," but once I did, the statement came together rather quickly.

I took a moment out of my life that was personally and academically significant and built upon that moment. For example, "I stood among the hills of (place where significant thing happened)... (writing, documenting, observing, etc.)... I found myself contemplating..." and then tied it into the research of the professors/universities I was applying to, paradigm shifts in my field of interest, and the foundational theories that shaped my undergrad and grad work.

I also used a professional editor after my essay was complete. I'm a writer, but the editor saw things that I had missed. He had also seen so many essays that he knew what "worked" and what was a bit trite or flowery or "not quite right." The editor had a few suggestions to tighten the opening statements/paragraph.

Hope that helps.

[menbenjamin]

let them know how much you know the field and how well you prepare for being rolled into the program

[fuzzylogician]

shai said:

can anyone give examples of hooks ? lets say 2-3 first sentences ?

I tried several hooks that were built on how I first discovered my field and when I knew I wanted to pursue a career in it; when I tell them in person people usually find them unusual and exciting, but in writing they didn't really flow without being overly long or trite. I ended up opening with several research questions I wanted to address in my future work and jumped right into why and how my past education prepared me for to do it. I ended up liking this intro better than any anecdote, because a) it gave my statement a professional feel right from the beginning, b ) it saved me space that I could use to talk more about my goals. I think a good research question will hook researchers much more than an anecdote -- especially since the anecdotes I had to tell weren't even half as exciting as the i-climbed-mt-everest-when-i-was-8 anecdotes you find in Asher's book.

I wrote the introduction paragraph after most of my statement was already written, and I spent more time working on it than on any other single paragraph. My statements had different lengths, and what finally helped things come together for me was working on the one with the strictest word limit - 500 words. When I started stripping down everything I'd written to the bare essentials, the "hooks" were the first thing to go and I had to be smart about using my space in order to cover everything in the prompt. When I got back to writing the longer statements (1000+ word limits), I found that even though I had more space now, I didn't need all of it. I was able to say everything I wanted very neatly and concisely in the shorter 500 words version and I liked how it looked. I ended up beefing up the description of my current projects and current/future interests, but I didn't touch the intro+past parts.

So I guess my point is, the intro is hard to write. Once you have a working version of your statement, step back and evaluate it critically. What does each word/sentence/paragraph contribute to your statement? If you can start reading the statement from the 2nd paragraph and not miss out on anything, then your intro isn't contributing enough. Conversely, you might find after you've written and re-written everything many times, that you have a good angle to begin with that forwards your plot. Give it time, it'll come to you in the end..

[JackieW]

I came up with a hook at 2am the other day! It's still a little fuzzy, but it's still a Work in Progress... and it's something. I do have the Asher book, and I recommend it to anyone.