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Posted

Hello All, sorry about this wall of text

I know this thread is a little off topic as many of you are receiving exciting news and taking new steps with your practice--which bravo and congrats! (Also I hope this thread doesn't stir too much argument over top tier school vs. unknown school debate. I think 'lesser well known' programs can have amazing faculty and create a thriving environment for grads. I'm mostly trying to get at how my school is 'lesser known' but doesn't offer any community, conceptual or creative support, and overworks grads.)

I am having a serious dilemma with sticking with my program and not leaving right now. I would appreciate any advice, and especially anyone who is in a program right now. 

I know no program is perfect, but I'm having serious anxiety with the commitment that I've made to my 'less than well known' school. 

Without revealing too much because I know my colleagues and grad advisor roam on here at times, I'm in a program on the west coast, it's a free program (if you TA), it's not well known by any means but it's got decent facilities (big studio). 

 

I feel entirely mislead about the details of this program. This department runs on the labor of grad students, we teach 15-30 hours a week, for the entire length of time as grad students. *** And these aren't fun upper division courses where you get to crit and establish relationships with students, these are HARD lower division entry level writing courses where the grad students have to develop the curriculum. You get the syllabus of the course you're teaching maybe a few days before class (often it's the first day of class)--but you're expected to have 3-5 hours of section time which you have to develop curriculum that ties into the course material. (anything from slide lecturing, writing assignments, group projects, etc, and they're general ed classes so you can't be like "go make art!" for the GE writing) Before coming here, everyone said the teaching is easy and you just show them art all day...which is completely untrue for the general ed writing courses and also building a 2 hour slide presentation on art multiple times a week is NOT easy or quick. 

Without further getting into the nitty gritty of how fucked up of what's required from the grad students in terms of teaching--this program offers me nothing except a big studio space. This literally has been like a residency program--not a grad program. Faculty are never around, we do not have a remotely interesting artist lecture series (half of it is faculty most of the time), it is not a conceptually driven or current program like I thought it was (the most recent performance artist faculty have mentioned to me is Ana Mendieta). I am in my studio alone constantly throwing things at the wall to see what sticks. I can't help but constantly wonder where my practice would be if I was in a program with supportive faculty.

 

And here's where my biggest hurdle comes in....anytime I tell people whom I meet outside the program where I go it's like any interest completely goes out the window. I have to constantly fight tooth and nail just to prove I know contemporary art, I make interesting work, I want to be in a contemporary dialogue like all other artists. 

I feel like I made a dumb mistake coming here a few years ago. I didn't think the 'name' of a school matter, and I truly believed in graduating a program debt free.  That said, I should have waited, trusted my gut not to come here, and reapplied to other programs that were free...programs that were better suited conceptually -- and mostly just supported me as an artist. I made my decision to come here after Jerry Saltz wrote that essay on how going to a top tier school only offers a 1 year jumpstart. But to be honest I don't know if I believe that anymore...

 

I'm wondering if I should jump ship, bite my teeth and deal with this, or consider getting a second masters? I've seen some artists with multiple mfas, though not a lot. They tend to have one in, say, Performing Arts and another in Sculpture or whatever. I feel like I could swing this MFA in 'Photography' and apply to a sculpture program. 

 

 

tl:dr Leave shitty program that will not open any doors for me and was really more like a residency, deal with it, or consider getting second masters with better school?

 

 

*** If anyone is wondering, yes we express constantly to faculty and the department that we are overworked. We are only paid for 10 hours of work each week, and yet class time alone comes out to 8-10 hours each week. Those hours don't even begin to consider the office hours we are demanded to hold, the responses to constant emails, developing curriculum, etc. In fact, when we do express this we're told we're just whiners. 

Posted (edited)

It sounds like quite the learning experience. You did not get the art experience you wanted, but you may have learned some life lessons at this institution instead that can used for a greater purpose, moving forward. Any bad situation or negative life experience is lined with a good learning experience, imo, and I hope you will at least find this amidst your disappointment.

 

Your post left me with a few question marks that I think could impact how people in your field would advise you to proceed...

 

-Are you attending your current institution with full funding and are you graduating debt-free? How close are you to completing the degree? 

-Are you considering fully funded, partially funded and unfunded offers to a new program or just funded ones?

 

You also didn't get into your future career goals and this is important to reflect on and consider as you plan your next steps.

Edited by jenste
Posted

Thank you for your reply jenste. 

I think thats a great point, which is that I've learned some difficult life lessons. And to be completely fair, if I had gone straight into a different program (instead of this one) without the knowledge I have now, I think I would have been eaten alive. I've learned professionalism, leading groups of people (hey, even if they're 20 yr olds) navigating new language within my work--and most importantly an ability to develop and critically review my practice on my own. 

  • I am attending with full funding and will emerge debt free -- from my Masters. This was an important decision to me at the time, because I still have a lot of debt from my art school in undergrad. 
  • I am in the final year--which yes means I only have a few weeks left. I am not proud of where I'm getting my MFA...that I've started to unlist it on CV just to see if I get any different response from people. 
  • I would reapply only to other programs that are fully funded. I know these one's would be more competitive, and hey it might take me a few tries to get into these other ones. 

In terms of career goals...maybe this is illusionistic and vague, but I want what I think everyone else wants--to be 'well' known, have my practice pay for itself, get reviews, hopefully get in some biennials and to have shows lined up constantly. I don't have any delusions about ever becoming a blue-chip gallery artist and household name--but I would like to become a gallery artist and get my practice to a point where it pays for itself. (either selling, or grants) I've also been writing, and have some texts out being reviewed right now for possible publication. 

I don't think the name of a school makes an artist (hey, yale still produces bad artists)--I think the faculty, encouragement, support and a community can assist in molding a successful artist.

My gut is telling me I should leave...but I'm almost done with the program. There is only 1 faculty in my department that I respect, and so I don't want to burn that bridge--however I think I also shouldn't stay here just for them. 

 

I've asked trusted peers, some art history, artists and writers, faculty elsewhere and I feel like no one will give me a straight answer...am I hurting my career being in this program? I over think it and think maybe no one wants to tell me to leave because they don't want to be 'responsible' if things go to shit.  

I just keep thinking about Sterling Ruby.....didn't finish his MFA and he's doing just fine--but he also did go to Art Center...so...

 

Posted

I'm sorry you feel that way. I feel that way about my program as well.

 

Stay until it's over. It's like a bad (but not abusive) relationship. Infuriating, frustating, world-darkening. But once you get out you will have gained a lot of wisdom (and no debt) and soon you'll be laughing at how stupid it was and how much better off you are wherever you choose to go next.

Posted

I also heard that it's usually optional to list if you've already have other master's degrees when you apply for a master? You might want to double check. But getting a master for free in a few weeks along with all the teaching experience on your resume might be a safe thing. You can be flexible as to when to go for a second one, while use the current one to your advantage whereas you see fit (teaching stint, etc)

Posted

finish it out! you're so close to the end. a shitty MFA is better than nothing, and two MFAs is even better than that. plus, its literally free. graduate and use it to get higher paying teaching/studio assistant jobs while you hone your portfolio for your next application season. but don't drop out now-- then the last two years have been a total waste.

Posted

Thank you everyone for your replies! I really appreciate your honesty and responses... 

After thinking everything through...I think I will stay with the program and finish it out. It's true, I'm so close to finishing that there isn't really anything to gain from leaving--and in fact it can hurt me in the long run. 

 

mlk-- it feels exactly like an abusive relationship. You keep going back and forth with, "well this is better than nothing" and at the same time wish it could be so much better.  I can't wait to get out of the program and start fresh in a thriving art center.

 

Hopefully this thread serves as a somewhat warning when looking at programs--there's pros and cons with every program, and the more grads I talk to it seems like there's always something that could be improved. I wish I had trusted my gut and not come here when I saw the red flags-- aloofness of faculty, overworked grads, promise of teaching experience but not fully realizing how emotionally taxing it is to teach. Teaching undergrads is so difficult--they can be creative energy vampires. It's exciting to see them hungry to learn more about art...but then it can easily transfer into older sibling syndrome where they vomit all this emotional energy onto you, or they constantly are tapping you as a resource to make their work better. 

 

Posted

I'm so glad to read this. It's so on the mark for some recent decisions I made. There are many ways to (theoretically) skin this cat. It doesn't have to be the prescribed approach that looks great on paper but makes you miserable. Good luck everyone!

  • 4 months later...
Posted

Hey- 

I wanted to drop out after the first crit at my less-than MFA program, I stuck it out like a chump and owe big.
BUT - I'm teaching now - A LOT.

And I still believe and I'm sure Jerry Saltz would agree - your success as an artist has to do with the work!!!

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