Trouble with my PhD supervisor - advice please

[DropTheBase]

PI's want data. If you have enough data, a PI doesn't care if you work 30 minutes a day. Congrats for having enough data for a JACS paper 7 months into the first year! But unfortunately the PI has higher expectations, otherwise she wouldn't complain about tardiness.

 

I agree with Fuzzy, I'd find out exactly what research progress the PI expects from you. This forces her to spell it out in plain text, meaning you don't have to guess what she wants. Then explain to her that you will meet those goals. 

 

Also, student health is the top priority. If it hurts physically to get up in the morning, stay in bed and make up the hours later. In a real job you need to worry about sick days and time off, but grad school is not an ordinary job. Grad students seldom work "normal" hours unless they have a family or other outside commitments. If your PI wants to drill you about tardiness, just say it's for health reasons and that you'll have new data soon.

[TakeruK]

PI's want data. If you have enough data, a PI doesn't care if you work 30 minutes a day.

...

In a real job you need to worry about sick days and time off, but grad school is not an ordinary job. Grad students seldom work "normal" hours unless they have a family or other outside commitments. If your PI wants to drill you about tardiness, just say it's for health reasons and that you'll have new data soon.

 

This might be true for a lot of labs and groups, but it's clear that in this particular case, this will not work because the PI has already said that their expectations are different than this.

 

But unfortunately the PI has higher expectations, otherwise she wouldn't complain about tardiness.

 

I think it is weird that some people are reading "The PI is complaining about tardiness" and think "there must be some other reason that she is upset at the student!". I think the PI is being very clear that she is expecting her students to physically be in the lab more. There does not appear to be any reason to try to guess that the PI really means something else when she is saying what she wants plainly. 

[med latte]

 

 Like my supervisor allowing me to go on holiday and then spend a week working, thinking that there was no problem, before delivering this news. Adults inform each other of their problems with each other in a fair and frank way, and they certainly don't delay it to cause maximum harm. I think it is fair to say it is cruel to lead me to believe that there was no problem and that we would be simply discussing my work, before suddenly starting to yell at me

 

 

Just wanted to add a thought from an employer's perspective - your supervisor may have been waiting for you to take initiative and come to her in private to explain your behavior. She may have been offering you a chance to redeem yourself. I realize you were tired, but your decision to not spend 60 seconds composing an email notifying her that you would be out on Monday speaks volumes. Unprofessional, inconsiderate, and disrespectful. That would have gotten you fired from many jobs. When the days passed and you did not initiate a discussion with her, and in fact it became clear that you were not even aware that your behavior was a problem, that may have been the final straw. 

You seem to be taking a victim stance that will ultimately hurt you as you progress in your career. It's a challenge, but sometimes we need to accept accountability for our mistakes and then sit with it - without rushing to point out how the other person was in error. There are many valuable lessons for you in this relationship if you are willing to take a step back and learn from it. 

[med latte]

 

 

Also, student health is the top priority. If it hurts physically to get up in the morning, stay in bed and make up the hours later. In a real job you need to worry about sick days and time off, but grad school is not an ordinary job. Grad students seldom work "normal" hours unless they have a family or other outside commitments. If your PI wants to drill you about tardiness, just say it's for health reasons and that you'll have new data soon.

 

 

Yes, health is a priority...AND, grad school is a job and it needs to be treated as such. If the lab schedule has an impact on your symptoms, take the initiative to discuss that with your supervisor in private and ASK if it would be okay for you to work an alternate schedule. Handled directly, you supervisor will likely be accommodating (and she may have to be, depending on the condition). If the accommodations she offers are not sufficient, you may need to look elsewhere. But never assume that you can waltz in late and all will be okay as long as you produce data. Your supervisor seems to put a strong value on consistency in scheduling. She may have good reason to, or it may just be a personal work style preference. Either way, it is her call.

Never assume. Always ask. Show her respect. Play the game - it makes life much easier in the long run, and will increase your chances of your superior being a good reference and advocate for you in the future. Your next superior may be far more laid-lack. Until you find that laid-back supervisor, you need to find a way to succeed with the one you have.