weird situation with professor

[anotherapplicantanotherapp]

deleted

Edited June 30, 2015 by anotherapplicantanotherapp

[rising_star]

Quick question: why are you trying to hold the professor responsible for the actions of her boyfriend? It seems like you could report this to the local police as assault or harassment but that would be regarding the boyfriend, since he's the one that actually yelled the offensive language at you and dumped the glass of water on your head. That said, it's unlikely anything would happen if you went that route. 

 

Another option would be to report it to your university's Title IX coordinator. They may or may not investigate since the incident occurred off-campus. That would probably be the route I would go. But again, I question why it is that you are trying to "get the professor in trouble" when the professor is not the one who actually did these things. Also, from what you've posted, your observation that this professor hates you is completely unfounded. Their boyfriend may hate you but, there's no clear evidence that the professor hates you.

[FinallyAccepted]

rising_star brings up a good point about who was actually responsible for the inappropriate part of your interaction. Do you know that the professor was aware of/facilitated this behavior from her partner?

[spunky]

i bet my brownies that your prof sent her bf over so she could circumvent any responsibility for those actions...

 

 

... now i sometimes wonder how come stuff like this never happens to me? the most salacious piece of gossip i've heard in my program so far is just someone who forgot to lock her office on a Friday and remained unlocked ALL WEEKEND. nothing was taken from the office though #truestory

[FinallyAccepted]

... now i sometimes wonder how come stuff like this never happens to me? the most salacious piece of gossip i've heard in my program so far is just someone who forgot to lock her office on a Friday and remained unlocked ALL WEEKEND. nothing was taken from the office though #truestory

 

scandalous

[fuzzylogician]

Your story doesn't mention even one action that the professor did wrong. She didn't ask you questions about the conversation the chair had with you and what you said, she wasn't pressuring you to do or say anything, she wasn't the one who had any contact with you at the restaurant. We have no evidence that she told her boyfriend to yell at you or dump the water on you, and she certainly didn't do those things. She is not responsible for the actions of another adult. You say this happened weeks ago and you haven't had any more recent contact with her. I am not sure what makes you suddenly think that she is unstable or dangerous. How would you know she hates you if you have had no contact with her? This seems unfounded to me. Frankly, I am concerned about your assertion that you want to get her into trouble because of this perceived opinion you think she has of you, and I hope that you will think long and hard before you take action that could damage a person's career for no concrete reason.

[anotherapplicantanotherapp]

rising_star Thanks for the advice. I assumed the professor hates me and got her boyfriend to do all the yelling/water throwing for her, so she wouldn't get in trouble, and I made that assumption largely because she was there when it happened and didn't do anything to stop it and didn't apologize. I could, of course, be mistaken, to some extent. Maybe "hate" is not the right word. Hm, maybe I will talk it over with the Title IX office, though.

[rising_star]

anotherapplicant, as fuzzylogician points out, the boyfriend is an individual with agency. He may have been acting on his own or based on (mis)information he got from his girlfriend. You cannot know that. All you are doing is assuming that she hates you, got her boyfriend to yell at you, etc. Now, as someone that has had some terrible interactions with students and even disliked several, I can honestly say that I never sent anyone to do anything malicious to them. I may have vented to others but, even then, I wasn't actually naming the students so one would have to put together several bits of information to figure out who I was talking about. What you're describing is gross misconduct on your professor's part but also something that you have absolutely zero hard evidence of. As fuzzylogician has said, you should think carefully about why you're doing this, what you hope to come of this, etc.

 

It seems like you're pissed off by what the boyfriend did and trying to punish the professor for the actions of her partner. That is illogical and irresponsible of you. If you want to hold the boyfriend accountable, then do that. Cite the boyfriend as the issue in your complaints (to the police or to the Title IX coordinator). If you go the Title IX route, technically your name will be kept confidential however, given that the incident happened in public, it's likely the professor will figure out very quickly who filed the complaint. If you are mistaken and the professor doesn't actually hate you, this could change her opinion of you. Just food for thought.

[anotherapplicantanotherapp]

Thanks, all. I guess there is a lot of background to this case that I did not give--and do not want to give on here. And, in light of the responses I've gotten, I deleted my original post. I do not think there is anything wrong with filing a complaint with the Title IX office for the threatening and humiliating situation I experienced as a result of an email I sent to a professor. I believe I have a right to express myself and my concerned to my professors, as a student at my institution, and that I should not have to endure verbal abuse or physical intimidation as a result. I believe that the Title IX office is capable of figuring out if and how to deal with the situation and that there is no harm or shame at all in my decision to report them incident.

[Eigen]

Thanks, all. I guess there is a lot of background to this case that I did not give--and do not want to give on here. And, in light of the responses I've gotten, I deleted my original post. I do not think there is anything wrong with filing a complaint with the Title IX office for the threatening and humiliating situation I experienced as a result of an email I sent to a professor. I believe I have a right to express myself and my concerned to my professors, as a student at my institution, and that I should not have to endure verbal abuse or physical intimidation as a result. I believe that the Title IX office is capable of figuring out if and how to deal with the situation and that there is no harm or shame at all in my decision to report them incident.

 

This sounds disturbingly like another Northwestern case brewing.

 

The Title IX office is not "capable of figuring it out". They have no adjudicative authority. If you submit a complaint, you will initiate legal proceedings against the professor, and stand a chance of damaging or ending their career. If you don't really understand how the complaint process with Title IX works (and it seems you don't) you probably shouldn't submit a complaint there until you do. Additionally, they are supposed to only be responsible for gender-related incidents- sexual assault, sexual harassment, or gender discrimination. Since you've deleted your original post, I can't say whether what happened fell under this, but it doesn't seem to. If your professor blackmailed you into sleeping with them, or groped you in office hours, that would be a title IX complaint. Even physical assault with no sexual context would not be grounds for a title IX complaint.

 

That shouldn't stop you from filing legitimate complaints, but it's worth thinking, quite hard, whether the Title IX office (which is simply charged with gender equality on campus) is the office to be adjudicating this dispute.

[anotherapplicantanotherapp]

Yes, and I thought justice was served in the Northwestern case. I am truly disgusted by all the backlash from professors that followed in its wake and by Northwestern's decision not to make a statement against Laura Kipnis. Moreover, I have a fair amount of experience with my university's Title IX office and know that submitting a complaint absolutely does not initiate legal proceedings and that they would certainly refer me to the correct office if I went there with a complaint that was not relevant to Title IX. I said "Title IX" because another poster suggested it might end up there, but the first step, at my school, is to contact the dean's office, which is what I plan to do. I assume the dean's office will refer me to the correct place to report, even if, as you suggest, Eigen, it is not actually the Title IX office. 

 

Also, I wish we could end this discussion here. I deleted my post because my dispute with my professor was really traumatic, and I was looking for guidance for how to properly report the issue--because I thought what happened was something a university would probably want to prevent. If it's not, though, it's not. That's the only answer I need.

Edited June 30, 2015 by anotherapplicantanotherapp

[rising_star]

Also, I wish we could end this discussion here. I deleted my post because my dispute with my professor was really traumatic, and I was looking for guidance for how to properly report the issue--because I thought what happened was something a university would probably want to prevent. If it's not, though, it's not. That's the only answer I need.

 

How exactly is the university supposed to prevent someone who doesn't work for them from yelling at you in a bar? I'm asking this seriously because this is the same question that the university is going to be asking itself when they hear from you about this incident. What happened in the bar was not between you and a university employee. It was between you and an employee's boyfriend. If the boyfriend doesn't work for them, how are they supposed to prevent such a thing from occurring? If you want to make sure that the boyfriend cannot harass you again, you need to work with the local police, not an office on campus. 

 

@Eigen, the original post referenced some language that implied that this might have been gender-based harassment (e.g., sexual language being yelled at someone). That is why I suggested going to the Title IX office since those offices are well-equipped to deal with such harassing incidents. 

 

While going to the Title IX office is not the same as a legal complaint, it does initiate certain protocols. The "Dear Colleagues" letter from the OCR obligates colleges & universities to investigate all Title IX complaints they receive to determine whether or not a violation has occurred and to do so quickly (within 60 days). Whether or not they can "figure it out" is entirely dependent on the investigators. It may be difficult for them to prove that there is a link between an email you sent to a professor and an incident with the professor's boyfriend off-campus. You should prepare yourself for that outcome, anotherapplicantanotherapp. 

[Eigen]

Yes, and I thought justice was served in the Northwestern case. I am truly disgusted by all the backlash from professors that followed in its wake and by Northwestern's decision not to make a statement against Laura Kipnis. Moreover, I have a fair amount of experience with my university's Title IX office and know that submitting a complaint absolutely does not initiate legal proceedings and that they would certainly refer me to the correct office if I went there with a complaint that was not relevant to Title IX. I said "Title IX" because another poster suggested it might end up there, but the first step, at my school, is to contact the dean's office, which is what I plan to do. I assume the dean's office will refer me to the correct place to report, even if, as you suggest, Eigen, it is not actually the Title IX office. 

 

Legally, they cannot refer you elsewhere if you make a title IX complaint without being in violation of the federal Title IX statutes. You may know your office, but if they're doing what you say, they're not following the federal guidelines.

 

Similarly, I'm a bit confused- you say you feel justice was served (Kipnis was found to not be in any violation), but then you feel disgusted that Northwestern didn't make a statement against Kipnis.

 

I don't know any academic that isn't completely dumbfounded by the complete attack on freedom of speech shown through the Title IX office on a professor publishing in a reputable journal. If we risk censure for discussing controversial issues, academia will die a fast death.

[anotherapplicantanotherapp]

Well, I am disgusted by Laura Kipnis, and I think she used her position of privilege as a professor to published some very short-sighted and poorly reasoned arguments. Unfortunately, the students who are harmed when Title IX is not properly enforced do not have that privileged access to widely-read journals to argue against her. 

 

Also, when I said I thought Northwestern was acting justly, I meant that their policies to protect students under Title IX made a lot of sense to me. I was not referring to the Title IX retaliation case filed against Kipnis for her article. I was just referring to the fact that her article was the most ignorant, privileged piece of bs I have read in a long time, but thanks for making sure I am not completely clueless.

 

I guess my Title IX office does not run properly, though, and like I said, it wouldn't be my first point of contact anyway.

 

I get that based on the information I provided in the email that I ashamedly deleted, you all do not think I have grounds to complain. Thank you for the advice, and please desist from further commentary on my ignorance and further warnings about how ineffectual my complaint will be.

Edited June 30, 2015 by anotherapplicantanotherapp

[Eigen]

@Eigen, the original post referenced some language that implied that this might have been gender-based harassment (e.g., sexual language being yelled at someone). That is why I suggested going to the Title IX office since those offices are well-equipped to deal with such harassing incidents.

 

Ah, ok. Your office must be better than mine if it's well equipped- most of the ones I'm familiar with are floundering mightily, and adhere to the "single investigator, turn it over to the University Lawyers" standard very similar to Northwestern's approach, but without bringing in an outside law firm to handle it.

 

That said, I can't imagine harassment from a non-university affiliated individual is something the Title IX office is suited to handle- perhaps the Dean of Students would be a better starting place for more general advice.

[rising_star]

Ah, ok. Your office must be better than mine if it's well equipped- most of the ones I'm familiar with are floundering mightily, and adhere to the "single investigator, turn it over to the University Lawyers" standard very similar to Northwestern's approach, but without bringing in an outside law firm to handle it.

 

Different scale of operations. I'm no longer at a big research institution. We have a Title IX coordinator and then multiple deputy Title IX investigators who assist with investigations. We don't turn things over to university lawyers very often but that's because we don't have a big legal team to turn stuff over to. Life is very different once you leave the big R1/R2 arena.

 

Also, we're not floundering because we have a top-notch Title IX coordinator with years of experience doing this kind of thing. They're pretty much an amazing person who handles these cases as quickly and confidentially as possible. And I say this having had to report several things to them this year that I heard from students or about students or faculty. 

[ashiepoo72]

Anotherapplicant, with all due respect, this is an open forum meant to benefit not only current members, but future members who may one day have similar questions to the one you asked. While you can remove yourself from the conversation, it isn't really your place to try and shut down the debate others may want to have. Moderators close threads that are duplicated or devolve into ugly fights, not ones that provide advice we members don't agree with.

As someone strongly in favor of Title IX--in fact, of bolstering its protections, especially when it comes to non-physical harassment--I feel strongly that Northwestern went off the deep end with Kipnis. It was an inappropriate avenue to bring the complaint, if a complaint was warranted at all--no one in her opinion piece (emphasis on opinion) was directly named or discussed at length. Bottom line, people who abuse Title IX make it harder for more protections to be implemented, because these abuses give anti-Title IX legislators rope to hang these protections. I think this article does a good job at explaining why the Kipnis thing was ridiculous and damaging: http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/volokh-conspiracy/wp/2015/06/08/a-kipnis-accuser-speaks-and-kipnis-corrects-the-record/

[fuzzylogician]

Yes, and I thought justice was served in the Northwestern case. I am truly disgusted by all the backlash from professors that followed in its wake and by Northwestern's decision not to make a statement against Laura Kipnis. Moreover, I have a fair amount of experience with my university's Title IX office and know that submitting a complaint absolutely does not initiate legal proceedings and that they would certainly refer me to the correct office if I went there with a complaint that was not relevant to Title IX. I said "Title IX" because another poster suggested it might end up there, but the first step, at my school, is to contact the dean's office, which is what I plan to do. I assume the dean's office will refer me to the correct place to report, even if, as you suggest, Eigen, it is not actually the Title IX office. 

 

The fact that you can claim that you: 

- have a fair amount of experience with your university's Title IX office

- know that submitting a complaint does not initiate legal proceedings

- know that they will refer you to the correct office

- know that the first step is to contact the Dean's office

suggests to me that you may have a history of over/mis-interpreting your professors' actions and perhaps filing complaints that are not found justified. Perhaps the fact that those of us who were able to read your original post found your reading of the situation somewhat misguided can help you rethink why you want to file this complaint against a person who I believe you called a mentor in your (now deleted) original post, and whether or not it's warranted.

 

Also, I wish we could end this discussion here. I deleted my post because my dispute with my professor was really traumatic, and I was looking for guidance for how to properly report the issue--because I thought what happened was something a university would probably want to prevent. If it's not, though, it's not. That's the only answer I need.

 

You cannot control what people post in this thread, despite the fact that you started it. Everyone is allowed to post their opinion, and as long as the language is not offensive, it is perfectly fine for there to be disagreements. Discussions can naturally develop in different direction and our priority is to both facilitate the current discussion and ensure that the advice is relevant for future board members as well (and therefore the fact that you deleted your original post after receiving thoughtful feedback is against our board policies, and frankly quite disrespectful to the people who took the time to read and comment on your post). If you feel like the conversation no longer contributes to your situation, you can choose not to participate in it anymore.

[TakeruK]

Addressing the Title IX issues only (I think the others who saw the original post addressed this particular case well): It does seem like different schools have different operating procedures. I did not see the original post, but if a student felt uncomfortable (even off campus) about something related to gender equality (for example, but not limited to: being targeted for their gender) due to what they feel might be caused by on campus interactions, then at my school, I would certainly suggest the Title IX office as one potential resource. Like rising_star, when I saw some of the words ("yell at") by other people, I thought Title IX may be applicable.

 

In any case, the way my school runs is that if you think it might be Title IX related, you are encouraged to talk to the Title IX office and they will advise you. Students are reminded that the Title IX Coordinator (at least at my school) is a non-confidential resource, which means that if you report something, they will decide what action to take, if any. Our Title IX Coordinator says that, to the best of their ability, they will only take actions that the student is comfortable with, but if necessary to protect the community, they might have to do things whether or not the student wants it. But their goal is to act in the students' best interest. On the other hand, our school also have many confidential resources (through the Diversity Center, for example) where you can talk to someone more familiar with actions/pathways available and get advice without them taking any action at all.

 

In my opinion, I never think it is a good idea to advise something against going to the Title IX office. I know I didn't see the original post, but if I ever meet anyone on my campus that said they were considering the Title IX office, even if I think their reason is unwarranted, I'm not qualified to determine that. My action would always be to let them know how to get to the Title IX office, inform them that it's a non-confidential resource, and let the Title IX office decide on the best course of action. I do this because there is always a chance that there is a lot more going on that the student did not tell me so I think it is in the best interest of the entire student community if I simply connect them to Title IX resources if they are looking for Title IX resources.

[Eigen]

I guess it's strongly Title IX office dependent. I'd almost always send someone to one of the confidential resources unless what was communicated to me was in the realm of something that necessitated reporting- but that's mostly because I've seen so many nightmarish quagmires come out of Title IX reports that would have been much better for all parties involved if they'd gone somewhere else first or instead.

[anotherapplicantanotherapp]

Fuzzy logician, you are really, really unhelpful. I discussed a completely unrelated issue with the harassment office at my university once before. I was mistaken in thinking that that office also served as the Title IX Office. 

 

I also did not know what you meant when you said it sounded like a Northwestern case brewing. I have not been following the Northwestern case recently, and I only knew about Northwestern's policy update and Kipnis's response. I was assuming that was what you were talking about at first, and I only found out about the Title IX retaliation complaints brought against Kipnis later on, after this thread had been going on for a while.

 

I do not think it is in any way disrespectful of me to delete a post when people are jumping to unreasonable conclusions about me and my character, based on the limited information I provided. I thought there used to be a way to delete a post shortly after posting, if the poster decided that he or she had provided too much personal information, but I guess I was mistaken.

 

I do not appreciate the responses I have received, though, regardless of the precious time that the posters devoted, and I do wish there was a way to delete this thread or at least my account. Maybe there is a way to delete my account, and I am just not seeing it?

 

In the meantime, continue the discussion about terrible students who abuse Title IX if you must, but stop referring to me. That problem has absolutely nothing to do with me, and I find these accusations abusive.

 

Also, please remember that it was not my idea to use the term "Title IX Office," and that in saying that's where I would go, I was just echoing rising_star's advice and trying to sound agreeable. It was my intention to do my own research and figure out the appropriate reporting venue at my university, not to actually, blindly march into the Title IX Office and tell them my story. 

Edited June 30, 2015 by anotherapplicantanotherapp

[TakeruK]

I do not appreciate the responses I have received, though, regardless of the precious time that the posters devoted, and I do wish there was a way to delete this thread or at least my account. Maybe there is a way to delete my account, and I am just not seeing it?

 

Again, as others on this thread have communicated, on TheGradCafe, no one "owns" the thread so no user can choose what the posters discuss or talk about. At this point, the conversation has steered quite a ways away from your original post/question and that is fine. If you do not want to participate in this thread anymore, whether because you have got what you came for, or if you feel that it is no longer helpful to you, or if you simply don't like the responses**, then the best thing to do is to stop responding to this thread and let it go in whatever other direction it is going. If you don't like TheGradCafe, then the best thing to do is to stop using your account. I'm not suggesting that you leave our forums, you're certainly welcome to stay, but I am making this suggestion since you mentioned account deletion.

 

** Note: When anyone posts an issue here and asks for thoughts/advice, people are going to provide information and thoughts from their perspective and they do this because they are trying to be helpful. Sometimes, their advice may not be the best for you / may not apply to you, especially if you (for understandable privacy reasons) only provided limited information, but it's your responsibility to sort through all of the perspectives given and decide what is best for you. Sometimes people will provide thoughts and advice that you don't want to hear. This is normal because we are a diverse group of people with a diverse set of experiences and worldviews. If you don't like their advice, you are free to ignore it, but in general, I think it's worth considering all points of views, even the ones you don't like.

 

Finally, threads on TheGradCafe are here for the benefit of the community, not just the original poster. So, if you don't like the way the thread has gone or if you don't like the advice here because it doesn't apply to you, then feel free to ignore it and use your other resources to seek help. But the thread and content will stay as others might find the discussion useful to them.

 

In the meantime, continue the discussion about terrible students who abuse Title IX if you must, but stop referring to me. That problem has absolutely nothing to do with me, and I find these accusations abusive.

 

Also, please remember that it was not my idea to use the term "Title IX Office," and that in saying that's where I would go, I was just echoing rising_star's advice and trying to sound agreeable. It was my intention to do my own research and figure out the appropriate reporting venue at my university, not to actually, blindly march into the Title IX Office and tell them my story. 

 

I reread all of the posts to make sure and I don't think anyone is accusing you, personally, of abusing the Title IX office. Also, no one accused you, personally, of any wrongdoing. Instead, people have written opinions of your current and past actions based on your original post. People have also written their opinions of your assessment of the situation. People have given you advice on what they think is the best path forward. Then, as a side conversation in this same thread, people discussed Title IX issues that have nothing to do with you (e.g. what happened at Northwestern). As I wrote above, the author of a thread does not own the content in it, and you cannot choose which opinions of you remain in the thread and which get deleted. You also cannot choose what gets discussed in this thread and what doesn't.

[TakeruK]

I wanted to put this in a separate post since it's a little separate from the ideas in the last post.

 

I thought there used to be a way to delete a post shortly after posting, if the poster decided that he or she had provided too much personal information, but I guess I was mistaken.

 

From this sentence and the general tone of your latest post, I sense a worry that your identity might be associated with your account on TheGradCafe. If you have not already seen this, I would also like to refer you to a clarification post we (the moderating team) recently wrote:

[anotherapplicantanotherapp]

Takeru, Eigen explicitly stated that my situation sounded like a Northwestern case brewing, and fuzzy logician suggested that I have a history of over/mis-interpreting my professors actions, both of which suggest I am at fault her and am about to mis-use the Title IX office. I realize that, technically, I am not allowed to stop this thread from continuing. However, as this is an open discussion forum, I believe I do have the right to ask people on this thread to stop referring to me. They do not have to obey, but I have as much right to ask as you have to explain why this is against your policies. So I ask again. Please leave me out of the conversation. 

 

Additionally, if no one owns a thread, it seems like it should be at the discretion of individual users to take their posts down. When users can't do that, then GradCafe owns the thread. I don't know anything about this site or what kind of benefits administrators receive--whether those benefits are monetary or not or why it is that the administrators who have responded to this post at such length feel that it is so important for their words to remain up on the site. If this site were really intended for the benefit of users, though, I think a user who posted about a sensitive issue and then wanted to take the post down would certainly be allowed to do that.

[TakeruK]

Takeru, Eigen explicitly stated that my situation sounded like a Northwestern case brewing, and fuzzy logician suggested that I have a history of over/mis-interpreting my professors actions, both of which suggest I am at fault her and am about to mis-use the Title IX office. I realize that, technically, I am not allowed to stop this thread from continuing. However, as this is an open discussion forum, I believe I do have the right to ask people on this thread to stop referring to me. They do not have to obey, but I have as much right to ask as you have to explain why this is against your policies. So I ask again. Please leave me out of the conversation. 

 

Additionally, if no one owns a thread, it seems like it should be at the discretion of individual users to take their posts down. When users can't do that, then GradCafe owns the thread. I don't know anything about this site or what kind of benefits administrators receive--whether those benefits are monetary or not or why it is that the administrators who have responded to this post at such length feel that it is so important for their words to remain up on the site. If this site were really intended for the benefit of users, though, I think a user who posted about a sensitive issue and then wanted to take the post down would certainly be allowed to do that.

 

To the first point: It is my opinion that Eigen and fuzzylogician have not accused you to misusing the Title IX office. It seems like both of these people have seen your original post and it sounds like that Eigen saw parallels between your situation and the Northwestern situation, and that fuzzylogician is giving you their opinion that you are over/mis-interpreting your professors' actions. These are valid opinions to have and they seem to be based on your original post (but I cannot see that post). No one is saying you are going to be in mis-use of the Title IX office. On the other hand, people have been saying that they think your interpretation and plan of action might not be the best one. 

 

Also, yes, you are certainly able to write whatever you want in TheGradCafe forums as long as it is within forum policies. The reaction was mostly to your request to delete the thread and your request for other users to stop talking about the situation you posted. I do think it is reasonable for people to stop discussing your character/identity though.

 

The the second point: Yes, TheGradCafe does "own" the thread. I meant that no individual user can take "ownership" and decide what parts of the thread stays and goes. Everything that gets submitted to this website will stay or go at the discretion of the moderating team and administrators. The moderating team are all volunteers and we choose to do this because we have been long time members of the community, have found this community useful, and would like to continue to keep this community helpful. We do this by 1) removing spam posts as soon as we can, 2) ensure that discussions here stay archived and thus useful to all readers, 3) protect user privacy when appropriate, and 4) mediate disputes between users.

 

Generally, the more active and involved members are asked to be moderators so it is not surprising to see conversations here with many such users participating. However, just because we are a "moderator" or "administrator", it does not mean every single post we write is from the "staff" point of view. In fact, unless we are writing about forum policy (as I am doing here), I would encourage everyone to treat all posts by staff members as any other user. If you read other discussions here, you will find that we are also a diverse set of people with diverse experiences and we will disagree with each other on the topics of discussion. But, when we are "on duty" and working on a forum policy related issue, you will find that our response will be unified. 

 

If this site were really intended for the benefit of users, though, I think a user who posted about a sensitive issue and then wanted to take the post down would certainly be allowed to do that.

 

There is more than one way to run a forum for discussions to help/advise graduate students. I definitely see the benefit of a place where users can post things very anonymously and then have it completely disappear after a short time. There are certainly many sensitive issues that are best discussed in this manner. However, TheGradCafe is not this type of resource / not this type of forum. These forums grew from this website's "Results Search" database, where the goal is preserve information like test scores, decision results, decision timelines for people. So, naturally, the forum grew from this philosophy of archiving and storing information for future users. 

 

A single website/forum cannot meet all needs of a community. TheGradCafe is not a great place for things that you want to post and then have disappear after you get your answer. TheGradCafe is also not a great place for homework help or getting advice on your research. However, I do think it is a great place to discuss (and read about) issues that might come up during grad student /early career academic life. And it's a really good place for people to share perspectives, learn about differences between other programs and other fields, or even other countries. 

 

I completely understand and agree with you that sometimes sensitive issues are best discussed and then removed. But TheGradCafe is just not the right place for that.