Is alcohol an okay gift for recommenders?

[Ilikekitties]

Hi all. As the semester is drawing to a close, I am giving my recommenders gifts and cards. I have cards for them, and then for two I bought six-packs of beer that you can only get in WI. I know that both of these recommenders drink beer, but then a friend of mine told me today that alcohol is "unprofessional" to give. Opinions? Another one of my recommenders is allergic to alcohol, so I got her sparkling grape juice and I'm making Tollhouse cookies.

 

Oh, and these are professors, btw.

Edited December 3, 2015 by LittleCritterB

[Mystic_Fog]

I think it depends on the nature of your relationship. For example, 1 of my recommenders is someone I have a strictly professional relationship with, but another I have that and an additional pretty close personal one as well (FB friends, we go out to eat together sometimes in a nonprofessional manner, I babysit for her on occasion and know her family very well, etc) and my third I have a minimal interpersonal relationship ( we sometimes text, though usually about work but I always give her a hug if I haven't seen her in a while and I'm friends with her kids that go to my university). These last two I've also been in a non-academic setting with them drinking (ie., a family/friend barbecue).

It also may depend on the school to. My school is a small liberal arts school, where good personal relationships are encouraged and it's not unusual to have that close relationship with your teachers. I'd think about that more than anything. Is it something they could get in trouble for or something they may not think is appropriate given the nature of your relationship? That's what will tell you.

[Ilikekitties]

I am FB friends with both profs and I catsat for one. I also attend a small LAC.

[TakeruK]

Alcohol is not necessarily an unprofessional gift. It depends on how well you know your profs and how well you think they will receive it. As long as you know they will be happy and enjoy your gift, it is a good gift.

I would say the unprofessional gifts are the ones that are "too big". For example, if you had purchased a wine club subscription for each of your LOR writers, that would be too big of a gift and it would place most profs in an uncomfortable situation. You don't want them to feel that you are "buying" their LORs. 

From the description of your relationship, the "magnitude" of the gift is appropriate! If numbers help guide you, I spent about $15 on gifts for each letter writer, and a bit more ($50 total) for my own thesis advisor. 

[rising_star]

Here's one cautionary example. I know several profs who, while not abstaining from alcohol, do not keep alcohol in their homes for various reasons. I only know this because either others have told me or because of my close relationship with those professors. So, I wouldn't buy any of those alcohol just because I know how they feel about having it at home.

[Ilikekitties]

^Yeah, I know that both of these profs drink

[rising_star]

@LittleCritterB, I think you misread what I said. I said that I know professors who drink but also do not keep alcohol in their home. Consequently, I wouldn't gift them beer since they would presumably have to take that beer home.

[sjoh197]

My program was notorious for the amount of alcohol consumed.... we even had tgif kegger parties every friday in the building. We were the only building allowed to do so :?However, I would also refrain from alcoholic gifts, although consumables are a good choice. You never know if one of them has a previously alcoholic spouse and can't bring home beer, or something weird like that. 

Many professors are avid coffee drinkers, is there a local coffee grind that you could bring. Or loose tea... or some other kind of local snack. When I lived in MI, lots of people would go to WI for the sausage and cheese. 

[TakeruK]

Agree with rising_star that you have to know them and how they would react to a gift of alcohol before you do it. If you are not sure, don't do it. 

sjoh197: my program also has a beer hour every friday too (not usually a kegger though). Seems like alcohol is a big part of geoscience programs (sometimes I feel we stress this too much though)

[Ilikekitties]

One of the profs had wine in his fridge when I catsat, so...

[sjoh197]

^^ well then for that professor... I do believe it would be a fine choice. Professors that you know at  a level beyond your campus life are quite a different story from professors you only know on campus, even if you know them quite well.

[aaahhhmyfuture]

It probably depends on the person and your relationship with them.  One of my recommenders has invited the department to BBQ's at his house where there is alcohol; however, I get the feeling he would be upset if I gave him alcohol.  Whereas another professor, takes our lab to a bar every semester, has taken his 10 mon old to a brewery, and home brews.  I will likely give the second professor beer as a gift.  It is probably a combo of being comfortable with the person and knowing what they like.

[knp]

Summary: this time, you did nothing wrong! But for all the reasons listed above, you should be careful with gifts of alcohol in the future. It can be perfectly fine, but sometimes it isn't, so it requires a lot more contextual knowledge than the average gift.

[avflinsch]

On 12/3/2015 at 6:18 PM, LittleCritterB said:

Hi all. As the semester is drawing to a close, I am giving my recommenders gifts and cards. I have cards for them, and then for two I bought six-packs of beer that you can only get in WI. I know that both of these recommenders drink beer, but then a friend of mine told me today that alcohol is "unprofessional" to give. Opinions? Another one of my recommenders is allergic to alcohol, so I got her sparkling grape juice and I'm making Tollhouse cookies.

 

Oh, and these are professors, btw.

I never considered alcohol to be unprofessional. Personally, if I knew them well enough to know that they drink beer, I would get them a larger (22oz) bottle or two of a style that they like, but from a special release from a brewery that they may not be familiar with.

And homemade cookies are always a good idea..

(Beer Geek & Cookie Monster)