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For Those Who Have Been Rejected…Don't Give Up!


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Well, I can finally tell my story, all of it.  I've come full circle and my God does it feel wonderful….

I found the Grad Cafe in 2013.  It was what I needed, when I needed it.  I started a forum entitled, Good sign, Omen of Hallucination.  If you can find it, it makes for great reading.  It was wonderful.  We supported each other and reported our Good signs, our omens and our unfortunate hallucinations as we waited to hear…anything.  I was RUTHLESSLY REJECTED on Valentine's Day in 2013.  I was beyond devastated.  Beyond!  Everyone in the forum was so supportive.  I decided that there was another path for me.  So, I received permission to take classes as a non-matric in my program.  It was exciting.  I took three classes.  I learned sooo much.  I received my ID, with my picture grinning from ear to ear.  I sat in the very place I wanted to be, but I always felt like I was on the outside looking in. And of course to add insult to injury, the program I so desperately wanted to be in had a lounge. Riff raff, such as myself, were not allowed.  I would walk by and stare into the window and look longingly into that room hoping one day….

During my time as a non-matric, I discovered what I really wanted to research, and gained the support of an amazing faculty member who agreed to be my advisor if I was accepted.  Once I began my reapplication process, which seemed like a Herculean task in and of itself, he wrote me a "very strong" recommendation letter.  As did the chair of my department and the coordinator of my department.  It felt so good to have so much support, but there it was looming over my head..what if I were to be rejected again?  To make that sad round of phone calls…again, starting with my mom, seemed like too much.   But into the breach I plunged, applying aging, hoping again, obsessing again.  To top it off unlike almost everyone else in these forums, I was applying to only one program.  ONE PEOPLE!!!!  I only wanted to go to one place so why pretend?  Three classes later, I had credits, a 4.0 and hope that it would actually matter to my program when they read my application.  

TODAY….I was carefully going through my junk mail, looking for the student emails that inevitably end up there no matter what filter setting I apply and there it was.  There is was….I read:

Dear xxxxx xxxxxx,

Congratulations!  You have been admitted to the Ph.D. Program in English at  xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx.  That you have been selected from among the 243 applications we received this year indicates our high opinion of your qualifications and our confidence that you will thrive in our program. We extend our warmest invitation to join our entering class for the Fall 2016 semester.

I screamed so loud!!!!! Unfortunately, my honey was sleeping and jumped out of bed yelling. "What happened? What is it?"  He was ready to rumble!  I told him that I was accepted as I cried and shook and bounced on the bed.  He was sleepily very happy for me, even more happy it wasn't an intruder I was screaming about.  And get this Grad family, full funding.  I was offered full funding.   This is one of the most exciting days of my life.  My musician husband thinks we should buy him a bass to celebrate.   He says it will help keep him "supportive".   I pretended like that was a problem, but he doesn't know that he's getting that bass just because he had been so supportive!:D  So….the round of calls that I have been waiting for years to make ensued.  I called my mom who screamed with joy, my brother, who told me, "You've worked hard, you've earned this!" My closest friend, my sister, my aunt who is hard of hearing, so that took longer than anticipated, to my daughter, who told me she knew it was in the bag!  

I sit here now, smiling, on cloud twelve!  I have read so many stories of acceptances and wondered when it would be my turn.  Today it is.  For all those  who have been rejected, don't give up.  Never give up.  One day, you will write your story here and I look forward to reading it.

Your Grad Cafe Sister,


Edited by Eager
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Wow, congratulations! Sounds like you've had a roller coaster ride to get here, and it makes me feel like I've taken my acceptances for granted. There was no screaming or bouncing the bed, and my dad's response to my text telling him I was accepted to my top choice was, "Congratulations. Sorry, can't talk now."

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Thanks guys!  It has been such a roller coaster, such a journey, but sooooo worth it.  I have been getting emails from my program and I spoke with someone today who told me that it was a really hard year to get in and they really enjoyed reading my application.  She told me how excited they were to have me!  I kept asking myself, is this happening to me?  This is what I've read from so many other people in varying forms, but now it is actually happening to me.  Pinching myself.   I talked about the lounge that I wasn't allowed into as a non-matric, well guess where the open house is going to be held?  The Lounge!!!!  I sent an email right away letting them know I would attend.  Not long after there was an email saying they looked forward to seeing me there. So cool.

They are also trying something new this semester by circulating the Statement of Purpose of those who have been accepted.  I was told that it will allow people in my program to get excited about my research and connect me to those who have similar interests.  Nerve-wracking I tell you! But hey, I'm in.  I sent it and gave my permission for its circulation.  I'm giving up quite a bit of money with my current jobs to do this, but I can't imagine anything I would rather do then attend the program I have dreamed about for so long.  Just hope my honey continues to see it that way.  It might take more than one bass:D!  

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