How to kindly let a school know why I didn't accept their offer?

[Bookworm349810]

I was really lucky to receive offers of admissions from a few of the programs that I applied to.  I let all of the schools who accepted me know once I had made my decision (well before the deadline). Since then, a few of them asked which school I decided to go to instead (which I responded to since that's a pretty standard/expected question). However, one of the schools (let's call it University A) asked if I would be okay with telling them which school I decided to go to and also if I would like to tell them anything that can help them improve School A's program. Normally I would be fine with just telling them that I found a better research fit somewhere else because that seems to be the polite response, but I'm also not sure that would be an honest answer in this case. I basically knew a few hours into the visit at University A that I would not be going to that school because even though they had some pretty cool research, their department (actually, the entire university) was not diverse at all. Everyone was really nice, but I didn't feel like I fit into the "culture" of the department. Is this something I should even bother mentioning? It's very likely that I will see some of these professors at conferences so I don't want to burn any bridges, but I also feel like the lack of diversity was a very important factor in my decision not to attend this school (although I did take other factors into consideration). Would I seem too critical if I mention the lack of diversity? Are they mainly just expecting to hear people say that they took an offer with a higher stipend?

[MathCat]

There's no reason that answering this question should burn bridges if you are polite and honest about it. I think you should let them know that their lack of diversity is costing them. You should also mention the other factors.

[TakeruK]

This is super tricky. I think you have handled everything else perfectly.

If it was an anonymous survey, I'd say go ahead and mention the diversity issue. At my school, I work on various student advocacy projects and having testimony from someone like you saying you didn't choose us because of specific factor X is super valuable. Deans, administrators and other faculty members will listen when we have this kind of data to show. 

However, it is much riskier answering a direct/personal email like that. You're right that if they are not supportive of your thoughts, it could hurt you. And it might not even benefit anyone else---after all, if they thought your reason was bad, they probably won't ever tell anyone else what you said and instead just make things bad for you. On the other hand, if they are someone that would help champion this cause, then having your testimony could really help. 

The reason why I think it could hurt you is because while we all think diversity is a good reason to choose/not choose a school, there are many people that don't think so. They will think that you are either 1) insulting them and/or 2) stupid/silly/frivolous for considering non-academic reasons. I know that some faculty members don't get the importance of diversity at all and think that even considering diversity is an attack on academic freedom and/or meritocracy. 

It's up to you how much risk you want to take. Personally, I wouldn't be that level of honest in a personal email like this, because it has little chance of doing "good" and a great chance of hurting me, unless I really knew the person I was talking to (but still it might be forwarded to others). 

I still think it is important to let the school know that their lack of diversity is hurting them. As someone at a school like this working to get people to pay attention to diversity, we need outsiders to tell us we suck so that we can use it as evidence for why this lack of diversity is hurting us! But I have a different suggestion. Instead of talking to your department directly about it, write to the campus' Diversity Center or the Graduate Office (talk to the person that is in charge of graduate student advocacy issues). Share your experience during the visit with them, explain the reason behind your decision. If you noticed specific things that happened during the visit that made you feel uncomfortable or that something was "off" with the environment, mention them. This is a great way to help the current and future students there! 

(Note: sometimes Diversity Center staff are confidential resources which mean that they might not take any particular action unless you request them to. So, whether or not you know this is true, when you share your story, be specific about which parts they can share to others and which part you don't want shared. Maybe some details you want to share with them so that they have context but you don't want it in the "report" because it could identify you).

[Love3]

Just be honest in the most sincere way possible. If the program's intentions are pure and they really want your opinion to improve their program, then your honesty shouldn't burn any bridges.

I recently had a university ask me why I didn't chose to attend their program. I was honest yet respectful. The program director actually asked me to go in-depth with one of the reason, we talked about it and she said thank you and wished me luck on my future endeavors. 

Take the politics out of it and be honest. If your sincere honesty burns a bridge, then the program probably isn't a program that you want to have connections with anyway. 

[Bookworm349810]

Thanks everyone for your responses!

[MathCat]

@TakeruK Raises good points that I probably should have mentioned. I had a program ask me in a personal email why I chose a different one as well. There were some possibly touchy reasons for me. I mentioned them anyway, but one thing I did to try to avoid them thinking that choosing another over those concerns was silly was to mention some other vague factor that is a personal decision. Now, exactly what this might be depends on you and how honest (or dishonest, I suppose) you want to be. I mentioned that I knew the city I declined the offer from and felt I would not be happy living there. Now, they might judge me for that factor too, but honestly I don't care much if they do - if they for some reason decided to gossip about this in the future, no person I consider reasonable would hold that against me. Basically, if they did think the reasons I mentioned were bad ones (e.g. as TakeruK says, thinking that diversity is against academic freedom or meritocracy), these are not people I want to surround myself with. So I am comfortable with taking the risks he describes.

[Concordia]

Spin it positively if you don't want gossip and can't improve things.  "Program U was one of my top choices, but Program Them had a really attractive culture and some other things that worked for my situation."