Jump to content

If Bacteria had Cybersex


AlexM451

Recommended Posts

StaphA47, you have entered the "I hate Beta-lactams" Chat Room

YersiniaP23: Ya'll know you want some of my bubonic plague!

xxStrepPxx: Anyone looking to conjugate?

Ecoli157: Age/F-type/Gram-Stain?

xxStrepPxx: 28 minutes/negative/positive

Ecoli157: eh, not for me

MycoTuberc: Who wants to see underneath my capsule?

T4_phage: hey guys!

Ecoli157: oh shit...

You have entered private chat with xxStrepPxx:

StaphA47: hey, wanna conjugate?

xxStrepPxx: A/F/G?

StaphA47: 17 minutes/positive/positive

xxStrepPxx: ooh a younger microbe, i'm into it

StaphA47: after an evening of secreting toxins and metabolizing glucose, we spread to the epidermis and find a comfortable, romantic spot on an adipocyte

xxStrepPxx: i tickle you playfully with my flagella, and start secreting mating factors

StaphA47: I begin to extend my long sex pilus

xxStrepPxx: oooh yeah how big is it?

StaphA47: 3 micrometers baby

xxStrepPxx: mmmm that's huge

StaphA47: my pilus makes contact with your surface coat, forming a mating bridge, i draw you in close

xxStrepPxx: yes, i want your antibiotic resistance genes!

StaphA47: within milliseconds i shoot my plasmids all over your surface coat

xxStrepPxx: ughh...well that's disappointing

StaphA47: I swear this never happens, usually i last much longer

xxStrepPxx: whatever, i'm going to talk to my ex-mate, neisseria gonorrhoeae

StaphA47: i wouldn't do that, i hear he gets around

xxStrepPxx has exited private chat

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 months later...
  • 3 weeks later...
  • 2 months later...
  • 3 weeks later...
  • 2 months later...

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. See our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use