SOP vwriting style - Harvard grad school Education

[kismetcapitan]

wonder if anyone could shed some advice here. I'm stuck with two versions of my SOP for Harvard Graduate School of Education (applying for a masters). The prompt is straightforward - what do you want to achieve, and what is your background. 1500 words.

One version is rather creatively written, steals a few structural techniques from Stuart Dybek and John Edgar Wideman, and is easy and entertaining to read, according to friends.

The other is straightforward, factual, and dry - definitely not me. However, my sister who sits on the U Mich grad admissions board told me she hates long, she hates anectdotes unless they are very short and hve a direct releveant point, and basically said you say what you want, who you are, and that's it.

But I've never been that kind of writer, and what U Mich grad school (different major) and Harvard GS Education are looking for might be different? Should I use judiciously some of my writing wit and creativity? Or should I be dead professional and avoid any attempts to be clever?

On the one hand, these have to be read, and a memorable, clever and witty essay is easier on a reviewer than a bone-dry summary of purpose and history, as good as the content might be.

But on the other, aren't we supposed to sound significantly more mature as grad school applicants?

[LifeIsGood]

I've heard and read that the SOP is a place to 1) convey information about your knowledge of the field, your research interests, and your fit with the department; 2) show that you're a pleasant, confident person who isn't arrogant or otherwise irritating; and 3) prove your ability to structure information in a concise, logical way. If you're also asked for a writing sample, that's the place for creativity, I think. I'm lucky because I used to be a journalist, so I'm ALL about delivering concise, engaging, and logical at the same time. Good luck!

[jacib]

wonder if anyone could shed some advice here. I'm stuck with two versions of my SOP for Harvard Graduate School of Education (applying for a masters). The prompt is straightforward - what do you want to achieve, and what is your background. 1500 words.

One version is rather creatively written, steals a few structural techniques from Stuart Dybek and John Edgar Wideman, and is easy and entertaining to read, according to friends.

The other is straightforward, factual, and dry - definitely not me. However, my sister who sits on the U Mich grad admissions board told me she hates long, she hates anectdotes unless they are very short and hve a direct releveant point, and basically said you say what you want, who you are, and that's it.

But I've never been that kind of writer, and what U Mich grad school (different major) and Harvard GS Education are looking for might be different? Should I use judiciously some of my writing wit and creativity? Or should I be dead professional and avoid any attempts to be clever?

On the one hand, these have to be read, and a memorable, clever and witty essay is easier on a reviewer than a bone-dry summary of purpose and history, as good as the content might be.

But on the other, aren't we supposed to sound significantly more mature as grad school applicants?

Is your sister in the sciences, social sciences or humanites? Most SoPs (mainly humanities, some social science) I've seen start with an anecdote (often a why i'm interested or how i'm different or i can handle some shit type things) and move on from there through general interests in the field, research goals, experience/background, and why this program is rad (including who you want to work with). Those last bunch can be in any order, but make sure you have dealt with all (though what you specific research goals may not apply for Masters programs). Conveying all those things is important, but doing so with passion and excitement is even better, I'd say.

[coyabean]

It could be the writing snob in me but I have a hard time believing that dry is ever preferable to engaging. I think those who despise engaging writing are either not really reading something engaging or incapable of doing it themselves so they act as if there's some sort of cachet to being boring.

I say if you can be both informative AND interesting, why in the world wouldn't you be? Perfunctory writing is for people cannot master being interesting. All IMO and YMMV.

[LifeIsGood]

Oh, I agree entirely. Of course there's no conflict between engaging and informative, and I'm sure the OP could write something that is both. I just thought the OP was saying that the piece was unusual enough that it might give a committee member a reason to question the writer's understanding of academic writing. I'd hesitate to send something easy and entertaining if there's a chance the adcom might read it as unprofessional. But, obviously, I haven't read the piece, so it may walk that line quite nicely. I would just use caution.

[straycat]

I'm in the same boat and applying to HGSE as well. I keep thinking, why do I need to talk about some of stuff and list it out if it's already in the resume. The resume itself looks pretty dry.

[kismetcapitan]

the thing is (and I'm still writing the damned thing!), is that I am an, oh there has to be some euphemism for it, but I'm applying to HGSE for the MBE program, and I am 37 years old with 13 years teaching experience. So I start a paragraph, and end up with tons of anecdotes and examples of students I've taught as cases to support various arguments. Needless to say, this takes up a LOT of space. I've revised several times, and each time I do, I get back up to the 2500 word mark.

Although I've removed it, here was my intro, stealing the writing style (and line breaks) of Marguerite Duras:

It was Hokkaido, Japan, my father and I lounging in chairs, drinking in the view of Tokayo Lake from our hotel room, the window swung outwards about a third to allow the unseasonably mild April air waft in and about the room.

It was a holiday. It was a four-day continuous conversation, interrupted only by sleep, of a father mentoring his son, giving that blank-check assurance that all children seek, whether the are half a year or fifty years old.

It was a time to commit. I flew home, sold the house, and founded the alternative school I always felt should have existed.

(and then I get into the meat of the essay)

The HGSE SOP requires two things: your objectives for graduate study, and your background. The creative version alternates between the two using non-sequiturs in the style of Stuart Dybek, and includes one section where I step out of the essay completely to comment in "real time" about the writing of the essay (technique stolen from John Edgar Wideman), about trying to complete a Harvard application in between the constant bushfires that spring up daily while running a school and teaching a zillion classes.

The other version is just more straightforward. Or another way to do the "straightforward" structure would be to use my more creative language and anecdotes, then wrap up with some very serious paragraphs on ongoing and potential future research in education.

btw, my sister does admissions for U Mich psych grad applicants. She says that if an essay is too long, or too florid, it pisses her off because she feels its wasting her time. Needless to say, we are VERY different people!!

Edited January 4, 2010 by kismetcapitan

[modernity]

the thing is (and I'm still writing the damned thing!), is that I am an, oh there has to be some euphemism for it, but I'm applying to HGSE for the MBE program, and I am 37 years old with 13 years teaching experience. So I start a paragraph, and end up with tons of anecdotes and examples of students I've taught as cases to support various arguments. Needless to say, this takes up a LOT of space. I've revised several times, and each time I do, I get back up to the 2500 word mark.

Although I've removed it, here was my intro, stealing the writing style (and line breaks) of Marguerite Duras:

It was Hokkaido, Japan, my father and I lounging in chairs, drinking in the view of Tokayo Lake from our hotel room, the window swung outwards about a third to allow the unseasonably mild April air waft in and about the room.

It was a holiday. It was a four-day continuous conversation, interrupted only by sleep, of a father mentoring his son, giving that blank-check assurance that all children seek, whether the are half a year or fifty years old.

It was a time to commit. I flew home, sold the house, and founded the alternative school I always felt should have existed.

(and then I get into the meat of the essay)

The HGSE SOP requires two things: your objectives for graduate study, and your background. The creative version alternates between the two using non-sequiturs in the style of Stuart Dybek, and includes one section where I step out of the essay completely to comment in "real time" about the writing of the essay (technique stolen from John Edgar Wideman), about trying to complete a Harvard application in between the constant bushfires that spring up daily while running a school and teaching a zillion classes.

The other version is just more straightforward. Or another way to do the "straightforward" structure would be to use my more creative language and anecdotes, then wrap up with some very serious paragraphs on ongoing and potential future research in education.

btw, my sister does admissions for U Mich psych grad applicants. She says that if an essay is too long, or too florid, it pisses her off because she feels its wasting her time. Needless to say, we are VERY different people!!

I don't know what is common for your field, but I would say for most disciplines this is "too florid"... It sounds like you're an excellent writer, but this is supposed to be a short piece of non-fiction. ( On a side note, there are a few articles/threads floating around warning about discussing the real time application process- this is again something that without seeing it's hard to comment on for sure, but it might be best avoided. ) If your sister works in admissions I would take her suggestions.

There has to be some way for you to come to a compromise between the two styles so that you can still feel like you are showing through in the essay. One of the best examples I've seen so far is this one http://ls.berkeley.edu/soc/diversity/apply/samplestatement-1.html It's a different discipline, but I feel like it neatly walks the line of being interesting/allowing the writer's personality to show through and not straying too far from the non-fiction/fact-stating piece of work the SOP needs to be to satisfy adcomms.

You have to keep in mind that while some admissions members might find something creative a breath of fresh air, there are others like your sister who would find it irritating. You have no way of knowing which individuals will be on that committee so it's best to walk the line between the too.

[phil413]

Hi Kismetcapitan, I was doing a search on SOPs and chanced upon this thread -- although it is several years old now, just out of curiosity -- which format did you end up settling on? The more florid, or the "dry", or an amalgamation?

 

Looking to write my SOP now to Grad programs in Education; any tips or lessons learned from your experiences would be immensely appreciated!

 

Thanks!

[moyru]

I'm also applying to HGSE and have been wondering the same thing! My SOP gets right to the point. I remember, at least when writing my statement for undergrad, being told by my teachers it should have more anecdotes. I thought maybe grad schools expected something more practical.

[radar-boy]

I am in the same boat as you guys....have you found any good resources or information for you SOP?

[roguesenna]

[Edit: didn't realize the OP's bits were so old! Sorry. But this is still my opinion about what's been presented in the thread if you're looking at a similar problem. Looking for the link I mentioned.]

 

 

IMHO the intro you have above comes off as gimmicky. The atypical writing style paired with the prose makes it more like a book or a short story and less like the document it is actually trying to be, an SOP. I think a good rule of thumb is to use a tone similar to what you would use in a cover letter for a non-academic job or in a paper for a less-strict professor. You obviously want to show your personality to a degree, but you don't want to come on so strong that the committee feels like you're being artificial or over-the-top. Be honest, sincere, straightforward. I think if you wouldn't say it to them out loud, you probably don't want to write it. I personally believe that you should not write your SOP "in the style of" anyone but yourself. You'll never be as good at Dybeck as Dybeck is, and you're inviting a comparison that will never land in your favor.

 

I read some really good advice about SOPs that helped me write something I'm really proud of and that is to figure out the theme or the story of yourself. I realized that I want to study theatre because I feel like theatre gives you the tools to study everything. I made that my theme and only included things that supported that theme. I opened with an anecdote about my very first theatre experience. It was two sentences and revealed a little of my background before moving on. Always leave em wanting more. 

Edited November 22, 2013 by roguesenna

[Expateacher]

Is this thread dead? I'm applying to HGSE TIE for 2018/19. Any successful applicants want to share what they feel was successful about their SOP? Any tips/suggestions?