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For the second time, one of my references has said she's really busy, definitely wants to give me a reference, but I can I help her out by writing it? Ugh. Has this happened to you and what did you do?

Posted

I've never been in this situation, but as you probably know, I don't think that would be acceptable. Does she want you to write it, give it back, and she will submit as if she wrote it for you? Hmm. This is interesting. I would try and see if other references can write a letter for you instead.

Posted

Yeah, I don't think I'd be comfortable doing this. 

A general rule-of-thumb I try to adhere to is if I'd be comfortable with what I'm doing if it became general, public knowledge. Writing one's own LoR seems a bit iffy in that regard.

Posted (edited)

@LondonFog From my experience (4 out of 8 professors suggested that I should provide them with a draft), it's very important to let them know (even if it's not the case for every program) that you are required to "sign" your name in the application to acknowledge that you did not participate in "drafting or submitting" the letters. It worked for me, and I believe professors are generally easy to communicate with. Just let them know that you would not be able to sign your name thus unable to complete the application if you do so. 

Edited by hmss9245
Posted
On 2016. 11. 9. at 4:18 AM, LondonFog said:

For the second time, one of my references has said she's really busy, definitely wants to give me a reference, but I can I help her out by writing it? Ugh. Has this happened to you and what did you do?

I've had this happen to me a couple of times but for the most part, they were asking for a working draft they could read, modify/edit. It is actually a lot of work, I mean if they want to refer to the classes you've taken with them and the papers you've written, they may have to sort through a lot of past data or they might not even have records anymore. If they expect you to write up a letter that they can just sign and send off, that's definitely not ideal but if your pool of possible LOR writers is limited, then I don't think this kind of request is an absolute deal breaker. If that was my only choice, I'd let them know that since I've not ever written such a letter before, I'd be able to send a draft with the content Id like to have emphasized if they'd be willing to add stuff and edit....

Posted
15 minutes ago, DBear said:

I've had this happen to me a couple of times but for the most part, they were asking for a working draft they could read, modify/edit. It is actually a lot of work, I mean if they want to refer to the classes you've taken with them and the papers you've written, they may have to sort through a lot of past data or they might not even have records anymore. If they expect you to write up a letter that they can just sign and send off, that's definitely not ideal but if your pool of possible LOR writers is limited, then I don't think this kind of request is an absolute deal breaker. If that was my only choice, I'd let them know that since I've not ever written such a letter before, I'd be able to send a draft with the content Id like to have emphasized if they'd be willing to add stuff and edit....

 

It's apt that a student provide proper documentation of their experiences with the faculty member. I provided my letter writers with a bundle of documents to jog their memory.

I think every faculty member pretty much knows that writing letters is part and parcel to being a faculty member. And if we become faculty members at an institution, it'll be part and parcel of our positions. 

Maybe it's just my two cents, but writing one's own letters is at the very least tenuously unethical.

Posted

 

13 minutes ago, Neist said:

It's apt that a student provide proper documentation of their experiences with the faculty member. I provided my letter writers with a bundle of documents to jog their memory.

I think every faculty member pretty much knows that writing letters is part and parcel to being a faculty member. And if we become faculty members at an institution, it'll be part and parcel of our positions. 

Maybe it's just my two cents, but writing one's own letters is at the very least tenuously unethical.

I agree, I also do think that getting a letter from someone who isn't invested enough in your application process may not be the best choice. There are many reasons one should not go this route and luckily for me I had a big pool to choose from so I chose professors who'd be willing and able to meet with me to discuss my applications and also read through the packet of materials I prepared for them.

That being said, not everyone may have the option to look elsewhere if a recommender can't do the work or there are other circumstances, could be a cultural difference. Maybe the recommender can't write in English. 

 

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