Did anyone make a fool of themselves talking to future advisor?

[DeWinter]

I just recently talked to a potential advisor at a program that I'm applying to. For the most part, I remained polite but, it's so difficult to gauge their reactions over the phone. I , also, at one point, interrupted her and completely forgot the word I was looking for while I was talking to her. Needless to say, I'm being hard on myself and feel myself a fool.

Edited January 22, 2010 by karakiz

[genotype]

I just recently talked to a potential advisor at a program that I'm applying to. For the most part, I remained polite but, it's so difficult to gauge their reactions over the phone. I , also, at one point, interrupted her and completely forgot the word I was looking for while I was talking to her. Needless to say, I'm being hard on myself and feel myself a fool.

I would say that if you really feel that you made a bad impression, perhaps you can send her an e-mail and just let her know that you're excited about applying to the program, appreciate her taking the time to speak with you, and that you apologize if you sounded nervous on the phone. I think that she would understand how much this admissions process means to you and that it can potentially make you nervous.

It probably didn't go nearly as badly as you think it did, I would relax and send a short e-mail to the potential advisor if you think it's necessary.

[intextrovert]

I just recently talked to a potential advisor at a program that I'm applying to. For the most part, I remained polite but, it's so difficult to gauge their reactions over the phone. I , also, at one point, interrupted her and completely forgot the word I was looking for while I was talking to her. Needless to say, I'm being hard on myself and feel myself a fool.

The first time I talked to a potential advisor, I had been talking to some of my students after school and had to rush away to my classroom for privacy. She asked if why I was out of breath, and I was a little flustered and took a while to get my bearings. I still cringe a little thinking about it. SUPER embarrassed.

But she passed my email on to the DGS anyway and then had much more productive, positive conversations with her and other profs. The little things get SO amplified in your mind, when really, others probably hardly notice them. I second that it probably wasn't nearly as bad as you think it was. Besides, phone conversations are so awkward anyway - it's so easy to accidentally interrupt or talk at the same time, etc. because you can't pick up on visual cues for pauses, shifts, elaborations, etc. I wouldn't worry. Though sending an email thanking her and apologizing in passing about seeming nervous probably wouldn't hurt. They know you're human.

[artist_lily]

I second what genotype said: it can't hurt to send an e-mail since said potential adviser has already expressed interest, and if you frame it as a "Thank you for your call; I enjoyed speaking with you and remain enthusiastic about the possibility of studying at School X / working with you," I think that you can't go wrong. Then you can just tack an apology for being nervous on the end, so as not to draw attention to it or to make it seem the focus of your e-mail -- merely a side note that, while covering your bases, doesn't detract from the main purpose of the e-mail: that is, to convince said potential adviser that yes, you are as great as you seem on paper, and yes, School X would be a fool not to take you!

PS -- Congrats on the phone call! I would give anything for one of those myself these days, so enjoy the high and don't fret too much over the nervousness! I would think it's normal

[newday123]

Then you can just tack an apology for being nervous on the end, so as not to draw attention to it or to make it seem the focus of your e-mail -- merely a side note that, while covering your bases, doesn't detract from the main purpose of the e-mail: that is, to convince said potential adviser that yes, you are as great as you seem on paper, and yes, School X would be a fool not to take you!

I disagree. By mentioning it, you will draw attention to it. Just let it go, and sound confident and enthusiastic in your follow-up e-mail to her. Good luck!

[genotype]

I disagree. By mentioning it, you will draw attention to it. Just let it go, and sound confident and enthusiastic in your follow-up e-mail to her. Good luck!

I would think it depends on how obvious the OP feels it was. If there's no doubt that the person noticed and thought it was strange, mentioning the anxiety may not be a bad idea, although I agree that it would definitely draw attention to it.

[coffeeandtoast]

I think that she would understand how much this admissions process means to you and that it can potentially make you nervous.

It probably didn't go nearly as badly as you think it did, I would relax and send a short e-mail to the potential advisor if you think it's necessary.

I totally agree with this. Don't worry about it. They've gone through this process as well, so they should know how stressful it is. Send a follow-up e-mail as suggested above and you should be good to go! Good luck

[Anita]

Ditto on the above. Interrupting and not being able to find a word while nervous about your interview? Happens to absolutely everybody. From what I see on GC, every applicant is nervous, and your POI does interviews every year - she's probably seen it all. If that's the worst thing you can come up with about your interview, I say you're in terrific shape!

[DeWinter]

Ditto on the above. Interrupting and not being able to find a word while nervous about your interview? Happens to absolutely everybody. From what I see on GC, every applicant is nervous, and your POI does interviews every year - she's probably seen it all. If that's the worst thing you can come up with about your interview, I say you're in terrific shape!

Great! Thank you all so much for being a great help!

She mentioned that though she's DGS, she's not on the admissions committee and that I should go ahead and write to the professors who are on the adcom (she gave me their names). Does that mean anything? Neutral? I pretty much made faces at myself because she was so calm the whole time. Hence, the panic.

[focused]

Karakiz - I don't think you need to worry. This type of stuff happens to everyone. If it makes you feel any better, when I received my first acceptance, I was so excited/relieved/nervous that I didn't even hear the name of the person who called me. I didn't think this was a big deal because I figured it was just the DGS/standard call and I wouldn't really need to know. About 10 mins into the call, I realize, for a variety of reasons, that I am going to need to know to whom I'm speaking. So I'm already nervous, of course, but then I become even more nervous because I'm trying to figure out how to tactfully figure out who is on the other end. I eventually narrowed it down, but still had to ask for the professor to confirm that he was Professor X. Embarrassing! The only good thing was that I was correct in my guess. I just explained to him that I was really excited at the beginning of the call and missed his name (there wasn't really a good point to interject at the beginning). He didn't seem to think it was a big deal at all. These professors have all made similar calls who knows how many times before. They understand we're nervous, so I don't think it's anything to worry about in the grand scheme of things.

[hip2btriangle]

i guess my question is kind of in the vein of this topic, but:

last fall i had reached out to a couple profs at a few schools that got back to me and hooked me up with students they advise to talk more about their experience in the program. all of the conversations were great, and helped my decision to apply. is it at all appropriate to reach out to these contacts and ask if they know anything about when decisions will be made?

[Maya]

i guess my question is kind of in the vein of this topic, but:

last fall i had reached out to a couple profs at a few schools that got back to me and hooked me up with students they advise to talk more about their experience in the program. all of the conversations were great, and helped my decision to apply. is it at all appropriate to reach out to these contacts and ask if they know anything about when decisions will be made?

I'm not going to be of any help here, but I have to say I have been wondering the same thing with respect to the contacts I made back in the fall as well! I have held back from reaching out only because I have the impression (from obsessively checking the past few years of the results board) that I'm going to hear back within the next couple of weeks anyway, so I don't want to be a bother/annoyance just because I can't handle a couple more weeks of silence. Then again, part of me just wants to contact them again to remind them I'm still here and still want to go to those schools. I keep worrying they have forgotten about me.