SoP Feedback for Clinical Psychology

[pinkingpsych]

Hi! 

I've posted in this forum previously, and since then I've gotten a near final draft for my statement of purpose. However, I have been given specific feedback for my statement that I'm not sure how to fix. Here's the feedback I've gotten so far: 

• I wrote in my statement "[research program] was my gateway into the research world and fostered my love for it that has only grown since" and I've heard from others that using emotional words like "love" is a general no-no. Does anyone know what words I could use to replace it? 
• "I feel like the way you put so much detail in your experiences, it seems like your future goals are an afterthought. it's okay if you really don't know exactly what you want to do in the future; becoming a professor in any field is even more competitive than getting into a clinical psych program. Additionally, your future goals may change while you're in the program. So when talking about your future goals, I don't think you mentioned this in your statement, but why you're choosing a clinical psychology program vs any other program like gender studies or general psychology. What do you want to do with a clinical psychology degree? I do think you did a great job explaining why you want to apply to these specific programs though."

I'm struggling to show why I'm interested in clinical psychology in particular (though I have very specific research interests that I talk about in my SoP) and I'm wondering if anyone else had trouble with that and how they ended up explaining why they want to be a researcher in their field of choice (doesn't have to be clinical psych). 

Thanks in advance!

[Coyosso]

"fostered an interest"

 

one possibility.

 

 

[Coyosso]

As for your other question,  I think it's important to balance discussion of your past experiences, your present interests, and your future goals. I'm working on statements right now for PhD clinical programs too. You don't just want to make it a life story, but you also need to explain how you arrived at clinical psychology. It's a tough balance to strike. Perhaps you can show them through an experience you've had, why you're a good fit for a clincal psych program. 

[tRoSeSTO]

On 11/21/2017 at 3:41 PM, pshamu said:

On 11/21/2017 at 3:41 PM, pshamu said:

"[research program] was my gateway into the research world and fostered my love for it that has only grown since"

 

I think this is an accurate suggestion--one that has been recommended to me by quite a few people. 

• So, you could say something very concise and precise like "My first research experience was [research program]. Since then, my interest in [subject] has only deepened"
• If you want to shorten it, you could aim for something like "My first research experience with [research program] deepened my interest in [subject]."
• Note: some may take issue with a word like "deepen" because it's metaphorical.
  • In my 100% non-professional opinion, completely stripping away such words can leave behind a dry and overly "scientific" statement. 
  • If you feel the need to avoid such words, you could try something like "I first became interested in research through [research program. Since then, I have continued to pursue my interest in [subject] by [studying / working / blah blah blah]"

One of the most helpful--and most difficult--pieces of advice I ever received: "show, don't tell."

Don't say "I'm passionate."  Show you're passionate.

Don't say "I'm passionate about biology." Say "I have spent the last three years conducting research in XYZ's laboratory, taking supplementary courses in my spare time, and contributing to the journal ABC."

That may not be the best example, but I think it gives you the basic idea. 

On 11/21/2017 at 3:41 PM, pshamu said:

I'm struggling to show why I'm interested in clinical psychology in particular

I guess everyone has their own way of doing this. For me, I tried to weave a narrative that shows my enduring interest in my field...it's not some passing fancy, but a long-lasting interest that I've pursued for years. I tried to make it sound like grad school was the next logical step, and one that I have been considering for a long time. 

 

Hope some of this is helpful!