For those who attend programs far away from family...

[Ilikekitties]

Hey all. This is my 2nd holiday season spent in China away from my family, and it gets pretty lonely here around the holidays. I'm looking forward to (hopefully) being able to accept an offer next year and enter an MA program in the US. My fingers are crossed that something works out this time.

All of the programs that I applied to this year are pretty far from my hometown. The closest one is more than 650 miles away.

Because they're all so far, would you suggest driving back and forth for holidays, or flying? As you all know grad students have budgets and flying back and forth can be expensive. Do most grad students go home for the holidays? How does it work with leaving your rented house/apartment? Do most students bring cars to school?

[MarineBluePsy]

You're going to get a variety of answers because we all make whatever decision works best for us.  So here's what I've done now that I'm in school over 2,000 miles away.  I have a car and I drive home in the summer to see people, handle business, and vacation.  Driving is actually cheaper than flying for me even though it takes a few days of solo driving.  Why is it cheaper?  I'm attending school in a small town so I can't get a direct flight and when at home there is no one to drive me around or loan me their car so I'd have to rent one.  In the summer I have more time to make the long drive, stay a couple weeks, and then drive back.

Thanksgiving break isn't long enough for me to make the drive so I don't even consider it.  Last year I didn't go home because I had too many responsibilities on campus and it was too expensive to fly home for basically a 3 day weekend.  This year my schedule was freer so I flew home for a whole week.  

Christmas break I do have the time to drive home and stay awhile, but I won't because I'd rather not risk getting trapped in some insane weather conditions.  Last year my family was driving me crazy so I didn't go home, but instead made plans with friends.  This year I won't be going because its just too expensive to fly home for Thanksgiving and again for Christmas.

Spring Break isn't long enough to drive home and I know I'm going in the summer so I make plans with friends instead or go see relatives that are closer.

Ultimately whatever you decide will be a compromise.  You'll have to factor in your campus responsibilities, your budget for travel, whether or not your family is willing and able to help with costs (mine can't), flight options, if you have to take a bus/train to even get to the airport, how the weather might impact your travel plans, and any other things that are relevant to you.

[sc9an]

Same application season with you so I could not bring much insights, but I think taking the train is an option to consider. I've done driving from Virginia to Chicago in a day before, and it was certainly exhausting. I would have considered train if I knew Amtrak has a line between Chicago and central Virginia.

Christmas eve/New Year is typically a shopping time in cities there. Not sure where you are at specifically and you might have known this, but department stores and malls tend to have good holiday decoration, so feel free to look around those places if possible. Feeling you and sending my regards.

Edited December 17, 2017 by schenar

[khigh]

My parents flew me down for Thanksgiving and I'm not going back until May-ish to see my friends graduate from undergrad and then it will only be for a few weekend.  For Christmas, I'll be going skiing up here unless it's too cold. If it is, I'll be making glühwein and watching football and maybe go to Christmas Mass (Christmas and Easter Catholic because they are in Latin). Last year, I was living close to my parents and still ended up only spending half a day with family on Christmas because I flew out to Berlin to spend the New Year with my boyfriend. Spring Break, I flew to Amsterdam and Rome for a trip with the boyfriend instead of spending time with family. I moved up here right after graduation.  However, what I do may not be what you should do.  I'm not particularly close to my family and even when I lived a mile from my parents, I didn't spend much time with them.

I do have my car here and have made the drive back and forth (800 miles one way) about a dozen times when I lived down there because my boyfriend lived up here.  The drive that far really is not fun, especially because I would do it without stopping.  The few times I have traveled since moving up here, I hired someone to stay at my apartment, but that's only because I have three rabbits and they are needy. I wouldn't worry about my apartment if they weren't here. 

[Ilikekitties]

11 minutes ago, schenar said:

Same application season with you so I could not bring much insights, but I think taking the train is an option to consider. I've done driving from Virginia to Chicago in a day before, and it was certainly exhausting. I would have considered train if I knew Amtrak has a line between Chicago and central Virginia.

Christmas eve/New Year is typically a shopping time in cities there. Not sure where you are at specifically and you might have known this, but department stores and malls tend to have good holiday decoration, so feel free to look around those places if possible. Feeling you and sending my regards.

Yeah, I’d rather take a train than drive. Train is also probably cheaper than flying.

[khigh]

23 minutes ago, GameofLoans16 said:

Yeah, I’d rather take a train than drive. Train is also probably cheaper than flying.

Check how long the train takes, though. Amtrak is not the most efficient.  I just looked at Chicago to DC and it's 23 hours. There is not a train that runs North-South (I checked Chicago-Dallas, Minneapolis-Dallas). That Chicago-DC train? $520-1371 one way! I ran a comparison for dates (Dec 22-26 because we were talking about the holidays), and a flight from Chicago to DC is $381 roundtrip on Delta. 

[Ilikekitties]

11 minutes ago, khigh said:

Check how long the train takes, though. Amtrak is not the most efficient.  I just looked at Chicago to DC and it's 23 hours. There is not a train that runs North-South (I checked Chicago-Dallas, Minneapolis-Dallas). That Chicago-DC train? $520-1371 one way! I ran a comparison for dates (Dec 22-26 because we were talking about the holidays), and a flight from Chicago to DC is $381 roundtrip on Delta. 

Ok. I applied to schools in Oregon, Mississippi, Maryland, and Florida. Chicago is my nearest Amtrak hub. In college I would take the Chicago Amtrak train to my home city in Michigan, and it was often late/delayed. If I end up attending one of the schools that I applied to, I'd also need reliable ways to get to the stations, which might be far.

Edited December 17, 2017 by GameofLoans16

[khigh]

1 minute ago, GameofLoans16 said:

Ok. I applied to schools in Oregon, Mississippi, Maryland, and Florida. Chicago is my nearest Amtrak hub.

Portland to Chicago for Dec. 22 is only $399...but, it's a 45 hour train ride! That's coach, so no bunk. I'm very envious of Europe's train system.

[GreenEyedTrombonist]

Surprisingly, the train can be more expensive than flying. There are things like megabus if you plan out the trip early enough (cheaper rate the earlier you get the ticket) and don't mind being on the bus for however long. Flights take less time so the exchange of time to money can sometimes be worth flying over driving. Driving gives you the most freedom once there, but it takes time (though not as much as the train and usually less than the bus), cash, and energy. 

This is something I'll be considering as only one school I applied to is near my family (and I think that's one of my reach schools). I'm lucky in that my Dad loves going on long road trips so my parents will probably have no trouble visiting me, but my sis just had a baby. I expect I'll need to fly home on holidays to see her and her family, as I don't have a car. The train would just cost too much for where I need to go and I'm not a big fun of the bus for such distances. :/ 

[Ilikekitties]

2 minutes ago, khigh said:

Portland to Chicago for Dec. 22 is only $399...but, it's a 45 hour train ride! That's coach, so no bunk. I'm very envious of Europe's train system.

45 hours? That sounds like HELL. May as well fly for that price, too.

[Ilikekitties]

5 minutes ago, GreenEyedTrombonist said:

Surprisingly, the train can be more expensive than flying. There are things like megabus if you plan out the trip early enough (cheaper rate the earlier you get the ticket) and don't mind being on the bus for however long. Flights take less time so the exchange of time to money can sometimes be worth flying over driving. Driving gives you the most freedom once there, but it takes time (though not as much as the train and usually less than the bus), cash, and energy. 

This is something I'll be considering as only one school I applied to is near my family (and I think that's one of my reach schools). I'm lucky in that my Dad loves going on long road trips so my parents will probably have no trouble visiting me, but my sis just had a baby. I expect I'll need to fly home on holidays to see her and her family, as I don't have a car. The train would just cost too much for where I need to go and I'm not a big fun of the bus for such distances. :/ 

I wish the US had better transportation services, like bullet trains or something. In college I did Megabus, but that route from Chicago was actually cut from the line a few years ago. I'd have to take a bus to Chicago and then either fly or take a train.

I have a car. It's sitting in my parents' garage.

Edited December 17, 2017 by GameofLoans16

[GreenEyedTrombonist]

@GameofLoans16I just can't currently justify such an expense (the car upfront, payments, insurance payments, repair bills, etc) plus I'm not a huge fan of cars. I'm hoping to get in somewhere I can either live near enough to walk to campus, take a bike, or with reliable public transport. 

[Ilikekitties]

3 minutes ago, GreenEyedTrombonist said:

@GameofLoans16I just can't currently justify such an expense (the car upfront, payments, insurance payments, repair bills, etc) plus I'm not a huge fan of cars. I'm hoping to get in somewhere I can either live near enough to walk to campus, take a bike, or with reliable public transport. 

Yeah I get that. My car was very cheap. I need it in my hometown though.

[MarineBluePsy]

Also if you're going to take Amtrak across country (or even halfway) you aren't just on one train.  You have to transfer to another train and if there's a delay that leads to you missing a connector you could be stuck for awhile.  MegaBus is an option, but like the train you wouldn't be taking just one bus.  It doesn't stop in every city and you'd have to transfer buses at connecting hubs.  I considered both in order to go home for Christmas, but it is still cheaper to fly and arrive same day rather than take 4-5 days on the train or bus. For my summer trip its actually faster for me to drive and then I have my own transportation once at home.

[TakeruK]

This will all depend on the program. In my program, most students have stipends that leave them with about $2000-$3000 after major expenses and necessities are accounted for. So there's certainly enough for them to go home once or twice a year if they wanted to. But if you want to save for a car or just save for the future, then that might be difficult. It also means that we often have to choose between spending our limited vacation time and money going home or actually going on vacation.

What I did (and what many students also did) was to visit home outside of peak travel times. Going home for the holidays is super expensive, but travel in early November or January is pretty cheap. After your courses are over you might be able to have more flexibility on travel times. We also had our parents come visit us. Finally, I ended up traveling a lot for work so I had a lot of points to use to fly home. I was able to use my points to pay for round-trip airfare for four family members to come to my graduation ceremony! The other money saving trip was to combine vacation with work travel so that I didn't have to pay for airfare for myself (just my partner's and of course, the personal expenses on the non-work part of the trip).

[ShewantsthePhD101]

I go to school 900 miles from my parents' house. I drive. It's roughly 12 hours. It's exhausting and obnoxious, but so much cheaper than flying. And i'm with them thanksgiving-new years with my school on the quarter system, so having my car is important.