Grimnir Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 I declined an offer two weeks ago to a fully funded sociology program and my potential adviser seemed pretty angry. This was an entirely unexpected reaction. Has anyone else experienced this? I was extraordinarily polite when declining and responded within a week to the offer as soon as I had reached a definite decision. I was pressed for reasons for not attending and I let the him know that my decision was reached for personal reasons only and that I had decided it was in my best interest to continue working. I wished him luck and his responses were pretty sarcastic and curt. I felt bad enough about declining the offer since I had worked so hard to get that far, but this sort of response made me feel even worse. I didn't even get the obligatory "I wish you luck in your future endeavors". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atlremix Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 (edited) Don't feel bad! I think you may have really dodged a bullet. I definitely would not feel supported with a passive aggressive advisor. It is your future and you have to do what is best for you. It sounds like you remained professional in the situation and that is all they can expect of you. Try not to let his negative attitude get to you! Edited March 28, 2015 by atlremix iphi, MathCat, breaks0 and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MathCat Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 It sounds to me like he's a jerk and you did nothing wrong, and probably dodged a bullet as atlremix said. Don't sweat it. hgp 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grimnir Posted March 28, 2015 Author Share Posted March 28, 2015 I don't know. I feel like I did something wrong and made a bad impression like I strung them along. Not sure what I could have done differently though. People apply to PhD programs all the time and decline for all sorts of reasons. At no point did I confirm I would be attending. Sigh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hgp Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 As the famed sociologist T. Swift would say, haters gonna hate, shake it off shake it off breaks0, rjparson, sociologygrad and 2 others 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
breaks0 Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 (edited) Don't feel bad! I think you may have really dodged a bullet. I definitely would not feel supported with a passive aggressive advisor. It is your future and you have to do what is best for you. It sounds like you remained professional in the situation and that is all they can expect of you. Try not to let his negative attitude get to you! Agreed w/the others, would you really want your career prospects in the hands of someone like that, let alone would you be happy working w/for him? Hierarchy aside, what he said and the way he did so sounds at best impolite and, frankly, unprofessional. You seem to have fortuitously made the right decision, at least in regards to that school. Edited March 29, 2015 by breaks0 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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