memyselfandcoffee

I think you are over thinking things, which is of course understandable, given you dont know what to expect. I'll tell you what happens in my country at these kind of things anyway. You collect ( some countries it is customary to give a corsage and something like choclates for the Mum, but that is at proms, not college level things in my country). Be chivalorous and tell her she looks amazing--- as someone who is very independent and a bit of feminsist in some ways , I still appreciate being made feel special and having a date that's polite and chivalarous. then its pre-drinks, all the girls are checking out each other's dress and hair and dates-- its nice to be complimenary and of course freindly then dinner, people drink alot of wine and get busy chatting, after dinner, more drinks , people dance or talk to people at tables-- I'm not much of dancer, so I like just chatting, In my country we are big drinkers, so most people get pretty sloshed-- its usually good fun-- other countries probably don't drink as much as we do, so guess just follow other peoples lead. If I were in your situation I'd have a few drinks to take the edge off and so I could relax and enjoy the banter, but I wouldn't get legless. thats pretty much it really, it sounds like your nice and freindly person, so stop worrying, be yourself and dont forget to have a good time!!! ps, make sure you ask your date for few slow dances, she must like you, so pay her due attention. have fun!!!

I really can't say what your should do, but i really do think your should sit your exams at xmas, because if you bomb you can drop out then. I think you should sit them because you've gone this far and you will never know what your capable of unless you sit them. also while it sounds like this might not be the right career path for you, you might feel a whole lot differently when the exams are over and you have have your results. just do your best ( which in my opinion also involves looking after yourself and having me time) for the next 6-7 weeks and decide after that. you have nothing to lose. but I also second the other responders advice about going to career centre they will probably have experience with people going through what your going through and can so best advise you. and if after you have tried your best and given it all a far chance I would just like to say there definitely is a life outside academia. I am currently doing a Ph.d and loving it. But none of friends or family have phds and they all have great careers. I have a friend who majored in english and had the option of a phd but choose instead to enter workforce and she works for a leading magazine now. so academia is definitely not the only way to have satisfying life, probably not even the best way. having said that for some people , like me , it is the best option, researching is what I'm best at and i'm really passionate about my subject. I do wonder though, for you, if you were through with the classes and exams part of it, would like the research end of it? I like it because, you get to be creative and you really feel like you're working for yourself. good luck with decision!

Hi, First off, as a mature student, I can say having done nothing impressive in my 20's hasn't hurt me, I am from a different country, but still if you have to wait a year, could you not get a job like Ra or Ta or something like that, that will just add to what is my opinion an impressive cv. I think you can explain it anyway. I for one can relate, anyway, felt the very same when I finished my undergrad, considered OT, speech and language therapy, ect, for the same reasons you did, a cushy job that I could enter in near as opposed to distant future. I took some time off and then did a postgrad diploma, I needed it for the psyc credits and haven't looked back since. I think you should apply this year aswell, though, if nothing for the practice, 5 weeks is a decent amount of time. But one word of caution, dont take something your not sure about just becuase you have an offer. Also maybe you should consider applying outside US, like Uk or Ireland, from what I read on here, it seems like we are less stringent over here. good luck!

no I'm definitely not depressed, I'm just struggling with getting used to structuring my own time, I found the advice about setting task and time goals very useful, thanks Eigen. However I do love what I'm doing but sometimes I feel so daunted by what I need to get done, i guess just a little overwhelmed at times , that I do what's termed 'experiential avoidance', which is basically do anything to distract from myself from thinking about or actually doing work, as it is anxiety provoking. so I think that's my problem at the moment. anyone else do this? any more advice? I notice that if gets too late in the day, I just feel like giving up, like i feel I've way too little time to anything productive and I feel either anxious or despondent and then I am really tempted to just put off thinking about the whole affair. this is really annoying, because I used to my best work in the evenings. thanks ps. i ve gotten somewhat better since i started this thread

thanks jullietmercredi, you have allayed alot of my fears. I'm pretty happy with programme, as i get to choose my own content electives and i get on well with my supervisor & fellow phders. So tbh I would probably be a fool to throw away this opportunity. also I actually do find what Im doing interesting, but I just don't want to be stuck in social/clinical area for ever. I just wasn't what sure what was normal and if I would have a hope of getting a postdoc in a perceptual/cognitive area. Hi Bluth, yes I am in Uk, I don't want to say where for anonymity reasons.

HI I am in a social psyhcology programme and now have doubts and wonder if I should have chosen a cogntive or perceptual programme i am interested in social-emotional processing, but in refining a research idea we seem to moving a little bit away from that I am also interested in perception and attention and worry that I have made the wrong decision. But I feel that I'm in this programme, Id be lucky to get into another, it would probably be a year or two before I could start, if I even found what I was looking for, I may not like my supervisor ( and my current supervisor is great). also I am 35 so i dont really have the time ( or the money to mess about) and also even if i did get inot another programme, i could end up being nudged in a direction i didnt love anyway. I feel I should make the most of where I am now, and then would it be possible to a post doc in cognitive or perceptual psych? so thoughts and advise, ( ps the plus side to where I am, is that supervisor is very smart and very nice, and I really like researching and am settling inot the new department) thanks Elise

I wish I had your problem, truly ... anyway in my experience when I work constantly without taking some time off, my productivity starts to slide, then i get more determined to do more, so don't allow myself a day off, then productivity slides even further... a sort of vicious cycle creeps in. But that's me, everyone is different, I can't really say what is right for you. My personal opinion though is congratulations on having made a fantastic start on your programme, 70-80 hours per week is no mean feat, and I'm sure you have made great progress. However i do think its a bit worrying that even doing as much as your doing feel guilty for taking any time off. If it were me that would lead to stress and burnout, but as I said everyone's different. i would say don't lose momentum, but maybe having a hobby or socialising a little bit would benefit you long-term and give you a better quality of life, which can only aid your productivity and overall well being. that's my two cents, if you want to feel really good about yourself read my post about getting 8 hours work done last week!!!!!! actually come to think of it, how do you do it??? that's what I want to know!!

Hi, me again, i thought I add some comments... I liked someone's idea about doing community college courses to dip your toe in , you could some paid or unpaid (probably with your current qualifications) work in helping people end of things as well. think help lines for children, people with mental illness ect that doesn't seem like a waste of year for you, to me, you could maybe fit a few night courses and evening or saturday volunteering and a paid job,(part time?)if your really ambitious courses you should consider are some basic intro to psych, intro to counselling, and if your going to do a phd you really need statistics and research methods ( don't worry if you don't love these at first, few people do, but they are vital to a research career in psychology) anyway, good luck with your decision

i agree with other posters in that you probably need some more information/experience in psychology at this stage,for three reasons, 1- it will help you decide if it is right path for you, 2) you might be lost in a phd without some groundwork ( basic psychology stuff and statistics), 3) you will probably need it to get into a decent Phd programme. I think you also should get some experience working with people, by doing some volunteering, i know in my country you don't get inot good programmes without such experience I also think it sounds you should get some career advice on what qualifications are best for what you want to do. as for it all seeming impossible, and hearing everyone saying you'll have debt and no job ect, i wouldnt let that hold you back. I had all those doubts before starting my programme, but now that I'm in i dont care about that anymore because I love what I do. at the end of day a Phd is just job (just very poorly paid one!) the question to ask yourself is this a job you think you would enjoy. well that helped me anyway. also if you unsure about working people with mental illness, maybe you like research in psychology and to go into academia? that said I'm sure everyone has doubts about thier capability to help the truely distressed, personally i think thats healthy, that is also why it is a good idea to get some experience. good luck!

as i said of course she doesnt HAVE to like her, or be friends with her, I don't like some of my flatmates ( that's putting it mildly actually), and while Im staying put this year there's no way I would live them again, I certainly wouldn't have my bf and me live with just one other person we didn't like , i think that's unfair on the other person and would probably wreak my own head too

I have weekly meeting with my supervisor and tomorrow is D-Day, so far this week I did about 8 hours of study and 4 hours of class out of intended 45. now i'm too depressed to work eventhough i could at least try and get hours done before meeting. I m really not pulling my weight on any meeting, but this week has been the worst, already posted about that i'm too depressed because i wanted to do well, this has been my dream for a while and 'm f**king it up, i hate the thought of my supervisor regretting taking me on and maybe even not allowing me to pass my transference assessment at the end of the year...... why am i such an idiot!!! so any advice thanks

this girl may be annoying, I can't really tell from your post, but in any case you are more than entitled to find her annoying or not like her, BUT i think its really low to stay living with someone you hate just becuase its cheap.... your in a way using her... fine you dont like her but to move in there with your boyfreind, so shes the odd one out whose disliked by two of you.. is that really fair on her? how would you like to be in that situation. I'm not saying she isn't annoying, she could be for all I know, and as I said if YOU find her annoying you should just move out.

Basically I'm not sure exactly what my problem is... I have great intentions and like my research area. My supervisor is nice and we meet weekly. I make plans to work, to record my hours ect, but every week I get practically nothing done. last week was best week I did a little over 30 hours, this week was a disaster after my meeting on Thursday I felt motivated to actually do some work and start impressing my supervisor. I made a plan of my research and spent about an hour looking for articles. I went out with a friend who was coming to visit, which I thought was good idea for my sanity since I'm in a new city and wanted to see a familiar face. I was good though we went for dinner and I only had 1 cocktail and 1 beer. But i felt wored when i came home and a bit sick and couldn't sleep for ages. On Friday i got up late and felt very tired, I went for a brisk walk but just felt even worse, so I ended up doing nothing. then on Friday night my flat-mates woke me making noise twice during the night and it took me ages to get back to sleep each time. we were forewarned about electricity being cut and maintence work being carried on Sat, so I had decided that would be my day off and had made a hair appoint, which i had to get up early (for me) for. spent the day at the mall. then on sat night my flatmates woke up again. I made the mistake of getting up really early on sunday to study, but after 2-3 nights of bad sleep I was wreaked and only did about 2.5 hours. then on Monday I went to a talk and did about 4 hours hours work. i decided to go to a dinner i had been invited to with the dept, as I wanted to get to know my colleagues, which i felt would make my life easier in the long run, eventho i knew i had work to do then Tuesday i had class from 10-4.30 and the i went for jog and i only did about an 1.5 hrs. I couldn't sleep for some reason, mainly lying awake thinking about what I'd say to my supervisor and making plans to come clean with him but promise to cop on ect. i was also stressed as one of flatmates is being a total dick. anyway I got up late then today and did about 4 hours, and thats it-- 8 hours study done this entire week and I had planned on doing 45!!! i can get 9 hours done by meeting tomorrow, but i am depressed and pissed off, because i feel like I am blowing my one shot at this I'm sorry this is so long, but there's my week.... I had a plan for doing 40+ hours and it totally went out the window, how do I cop on, it realy is becoming groundhog week for me and i will be asked to leave if i don't cop on. ( re noisy flatemates, I asked them to be a bit quiter and they basically told me f*** off and are now not talking to me so thats a whole other kettle of fish fortunately I have one nice fatmate who thinks the others are being idiots, so i guess thats the silver linning. anyway, please advise me, thanks