GodelEscher
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Posts posted by GodelEscher
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I can see where you're coming from, PsychGirl1 - after all the effort involved in getting onto a PhD program, I expected to feel more emotions when I started my first lab rotation. Instead, it's kinda a quiet feeling of vindication. Just getting on the with job...
Except for the bits of panic and apprehension, but that's normal I think.
Ditto. I worked my tail off getting into a Counseling psych PhD program but I don't feel "excited." Now I am just anxious about the limitations of my program and the heavy course loads. I know this is what I wanted but now I just want more (is this possible?). I am already looking for different TA positions to get experience and I just started my GA position.
Every time I succeed I never celebrate because I never get the exhilaration of getting to the "top." Once I get passed a hurdle, I'm always looking for another higher hurdle. Now I am questioning my future...*sigh*
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I was wondering this, too, but I'm another youngin' (23). I'll be moving about 1600 miles to get to school. I moved home from college every summer during my undergrad so I've nearly got it down to a science, but it will be a a bit more difficult this time around. I have to fit everything into the tiny car I have right now. So far the plan is to spend a couple weeks this summer sorting through my junk and seeing what I can toss out. While I love Smithsonian, what's the point of saving my 4 years worth if I never re-read them? I've already talked to my grandma and she's going to let me use her vacuum packer for my linens, blankets, and clothes so that should cut down a fair amount of space. When the time comes I'll stuff everything I can into my car and either pay to store the rest for the 2 years of my masters or leave it at my parent's. I'll look at thrift stores/Craig's list for whatever furniture I need and buy a new mattress. I'm actually looking forward to that as I don't think I've ever had a brand new mattress!
My main worry is paying to ship the few things I "need" but don't have space for. How much does it cost to ship books? Would it be less to ship my clothes? I have too many books and I just don't think I can decide which to bring with me!
Not everyone is 22-24 yrs old. I have many possessions and will have to pay a substantial amount to move my things across the country. I suppose when you get older and have lived in a three bedroom home, you tend to have furniture that is not worth tossing to purchase again in another state. I know I definitely don't see the point of letting go my beautiful red leather couch...or my other edgy modern furniture (or three flat screens). I guess being older and working in surgery as my first career helped with my expensive furniture addiction.
Either way- feel lucky you have little, I remember those youngin' days where I could shove all my stuff in a car and drive. There are pros and cons to everything I suppose!
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Unfortunately, from going through the application cycle recently..saying you want to be a psychologist and helping the mentally ill will not benefit you. Stating that in your SOP will most likely put you into a very large pile. Also, it seems odd you applied to Masters level program in Sociology, Neuroscience/Cognition? That will not prepare you to be a licensed psychologist (I am assuming you want to work with clients from your mental illness comment).
It is possible to go from undergrad directly to counseling/ Clinical PhD programs. Just my 0.02 cents
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One thing I did not prepare for was the $$ needed to get me through the summer...eeek but I am trying to smile through all my stress =)
and doing a little martial arts- that helps a ton
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Just sending out some good vibes to those stressing about starting there PhD programs- Any positive encouragement you would like to share?
Mine- Appreciate what you have and be hopeful for the future. It won't be easy but it will be worth it!
Oh and...Dance a little, it might help the stress!
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Being too specific may hurt you in application process. It is better to have general interests but show through your essay on your promising ideas. That perspective may be more forgiving. Also, although you may be set in your interests now- they may change in grad school. Many if not all PhD students I know went in to a program with one idea of what they will research only to change it once they were in depth in to the program....
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Unfortunately this information varies across programs and dependent on the competitiveness each year. My suggestion is that if you really want this route- understand all aspects of what it takes to encompass the lifestyle (licensing, APA accreditation on programs, internship crisis, income level, etc.). Then re-evaluate if you are willing to sacrifice time, money and your life. If you are then gain years of multiple experience, get close to your letter writers (be exceptional in their eyes), get excellent GRE's, make a goal of 4.0 for your last two years in school, get many scholarships, and take every opportunity to publish, show your posters at conferences, give talks, etc.
Be the most competitive of all. That is it. Any less and your application will fall in to the "lesser than" pile. Oh and don't be afraid to move anywhere. Being geographically limited...is limited (that goes for internship as well).
Need more tips ? PM. I have plenty of angst to share about competitiveness (j/k...maybe)
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Can I ask where you will be living? $780 for a two bedroom sounds pretty good to me, but rates vary quite a bit. I currently pay $750 for a one bedroom (Chapel Hill, NC, mid-size college town), and have been looking at paying $800ish for a studio in Baltimore.
Pullman, WA- fairly inexpensive city to live in but very old apartment complexes and I think I might stay in graduate housing since they were recently built so it's hard to compete with that. I currently live in a fairly inexpensive city as well to that is steep to me considering the area. It is quite different than living in Orange county, CA though. I once lived in a 500 sq ft studio for almost $1,000 a month (ouch).
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I unfortunately am in between a rock and a hard place. I applied for graduate housing but it is a little on the expensive side. At 780$ for a 2 bedroom 2 story townhouse (800 sq ft) it feels a little over the top (I need 2 bedrooms- for the kiddo). So I am contemplating whether I should risk applying for an apartment not on campus (sight unseen & forefeting $150 deposit) or just move there. I just don't want to move and then have to move again. And I do not (repeat-do not) have easy things to move. Like big screen tv's I can't carry and a sofa that is double my height and weight.
Oh and does not help that I highly doubt I will pass their credit check (housing off campus)...oh what to do?
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How is the housing situation going for everyone? I am having a difficult time finding a place and graduate housing is pretty full (waitlist). I am a little nervous I won't get in to the grad housing...now looking at places but all of them seem to be older houses. Has anyone looked at duplexes there? I am looking for a spacious 2 bedroom for under (700$) in Pullman.....EEEeek
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I got in! After all my complaining! I got in. I am going to Phd program in counseling. I am so excited
- tie, CHagen, NightGallery and 2 others
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Yeah, I applied to 12 (however, 12 top programs)..result: 9 rejects, 3 interviews..2 post-interview rejects and 1 waitlist
I feel ya: 17 applications; 4 interviews; 3 waitlist; 2 post interview rejects; waiting on 2 more and rejections in between. Oh and a partridge in a pear tree.
Counseling Psych PhD application process is rough....crossing my fingers on MSW-clinical program (my eyes are on this one) especially since it is the city where I live (no moving)
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applying for Counseling PhD programs- 13 rejections and counting (4 interviews):
I have come to acknowledge that this intense rejection is linked similarly to the tragic realization after I got injured performing at CalArts after 9 interviews, intense auditions in ballet, modern and world dance and 9 acceptances ranging from UCLA to CalArts...that I could no longer do what I was passionate about. Ridden by physical therapy and chronic pain I had to leave the stage. Falling into nursing I found potential to counsel others and found my way to counseling psychology.
Now I have injured myself again in my own career (rejection) and realize that maybe this is not my year for the path that I felt destined to do. What has the artistry of my creativity done in this moment? Pave another path to counsel...I applied to a MSW-clinical program without the 1-5% acceptance rate that appreciate my work, my art, my advocacy for my patients.
It was not what I intended, but I have become humble through this process. I have fallen but now I have gotten up. I am injured but I am going through the painful intellectual stretching my mind needs to understand a new element (social work). But that is life. Just because I did not get in does not mean I am not competitive, because I know I was among the top choices in some universities. But now I know that just because I know that I am capable of a PhD does not mean other people know that. In some regards, programs are able to find the best out of the group and need something to filter out the most most competitive and those who have the most relevant experience. I simply do not have that. It is hard to "prove" you are capable when you are a post-bacc up against a practicing masters LPC with a private practice...
so maybe I am not going to a PhD counseling program in the fall, but I am going to a funded masters program in MSW and applying for their joint MSW/PhD program in the fall (as the admissions counselor at the program suggested). In some way I learned through applying for 12+ schools (and getting rejections) that I belong in social work after all.
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You look for other programs with rolling admissions....I found one local program; applying right now (wish me luck!)
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Obviously I dont know you so everything I'm writing is just based on my impressions of some of your posts. I may be way off base on a lot of stuff but again, it is just my impressions...
Being a single parent plays a huge role, especially on an emotional level. Obviously, doing well (whatever your definition is of doing 'well') would show your kid(s) just what you are made of. That is, you want to be a good role model just as your father has been for you....and you set your standards high.
Also, assuming that you did not part with your ex on the best of terms (and probably when you could have used his support the most), getting in would have been a great way to vent some of that anger and say to him, "See, I did it without you, so f*ck you". Being a single mother there is so much more you have to 'prove'. You have to prove that you are better off without your ex. You have to prove that you can excel without a partner to cheer you on. You basically have to demonstrate how strong you are. When you didn't get in to what should have been a no-brainer, it shattered all of this.
I am guessing that you had a lot of pride riding on getting in. Not being able to 'stick it' to your ex coupled with the fact that your family only considers a certain level of academic acheivement to actually signal success, not getting in was demoralizing and humiliating.
The bottomline is that single mothers (regardless of socio-economic status) have a lot to prove. They have to show 'the world' through their successes that they are not failures or 'defective' for not being in a relationship. There is a lot of stigma attached to the 'single mother' status. I can totally see why you were so very upset at getting those rejections.
Also, although you may have some regrets, it is great that you actually wrote that post. Sure, it rubbed a lot of people the wrong way but really, it was raw honest emotion. Perhaps you projected some of the feelings that others have but just aren't comfortable to admit it on such a public platform. Anyone who says that they dont create a hierarchy of applicants in their head and place themselves at or near the top is just not being truthful. I haven't met a single person who was rejected and didn't at some point say, "I cant believe so-and-so got in!" In the moment of anger, we all are capable of belittling others to make ourselves feel better. But, once the anger subsides, you put things back in perspective and hope people dont hold your angry rant against you later on
I think you have an interesting perspective on what being a single mom "is." Although a portion is a little inadequate I think it is an interesting and valid point. I believe the idea of "single mother" is very different that how you state of "proving" it to others. I think that is very true however in my situation I left the x in a very positive way and have a nurturing relationship as friends. I do not believe I had to prove it to him or defeat the identity of single mom, rather prove it to myself. I think this is true for many people who are simply "hard on themselves."
I do value your post and it does bring to mind some interesting interpersonal conflicts some single moms do face more than myself. I kind of believe that being a single mom is taking into consideration of the financial burden of applying again vs. proving myself. If I was childless I would most likely feel the exact same frustration.
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As a graduate from NMSU, I take offense.
No intent on offending others. As a few posts have stated before- this was an unnecessary (or honest) rant. Some can can be understand of struggles, some can not. Either way: it was one irrational rant that reveal personal feelings of inadequacy that are not linked to any other person....Hey, at least I am honest.
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Thank you, I missed that!
How does being single and a parent come into play? Thoughts ?
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Interesting. When I read a few of ApexKnowledge's posts I got the feeling that he(I'm assuming 'he', please correct me if I'm wrong) is experiencing intense pressure to live up to the unspoken expectations placed upon him (by himself or others) simply because his father is so accomplished. Gaining admission isn't just about being rewarded for your hard effort, it is also about maintaining a certain image. If you get in, you wouldn't think twice about it. However, if you get rejected, you can have strong feelings of shame, embarrassment, and an overwhelming feeling of disappointment--both for yourself and for those around you. For instance, he might feel like he has embarrassed not only himself but also his dad with the rejections. How can you show your face amongst those who got in when everyone in the room knows that you are way more qualified (at least on paper)?
You can say that it shouldn't matter what daddy has accomplished academically or what your references think about your rejection but the truth is, we all have people in our lives that we dont want to disappoint or people who we are trying to 'prove' something to. If you dont have the faintest clue as to why you would be rejected while others with significantly less accomplishment are admitted, it is easy to get bitter. Somewhat irrational questions like 'is it my age? my academic history? do you just not like me? start to surface. Add a bottle of vodka and the irrational thoughts just flow and flow.
No matter who you are, it will take time to clear your head, shake off the hurt, and find a way to make your dreams happen regardless.
Ah, a very composed reply. Many people are unaware of unseen forces that persuade children of successful parents to gravitate towards a certain route. Regardless of his successes I will never be as established, published, well regarded,or "famous" but I have dealt with that and in times of weakness it re-surfaces. Granted I feel I have succeeded in my own life and I do think that this frustration of not "getting in" is very common. Unfortunately because my family looks at this process as necessary to becoming "significant" in the academic world, the stressors are different for me to be accepted (different, not worse) than others- so I can admit to being rather "bratty" in my original post. My life is continuously compared to my father, so I believe it is rather humbling than I can be angry, be spiteful in one moment and literally let it go... so I let go. life is too short to dwell, too bad I can't erase this post because it obviously is irritating people who are not compassionate of the stress of failure in a highly prestigious family. Let's all have some dignity and let it go....
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I understand that this process can be really frustrating at times! I was rejected from a program last year that I felt was the absolute perfect fit for me. I had a great GPA, loads of relevant research experience, and two strong recommendations. It turned out that the third recommendation was weak, and that's what killed my chances. There are just far too many qualified applicants out there, and one tiny imperfection in your own application can spell doom just because there are so many other brilliant people to choose from. It sucks, I know.That said, in your original post, you came off as sounding a little bit too entitled (basically, "I know I'm smart and my dad is a well-known scholar, so obviously the school should want me… why do I even need to bother with this process?"). I don't mean this to be negative or critical… it's just the first impression that I got when I read your post (and the other one in a different sub forum). You probably didn't intend for that to happen, and maybe you don't even consciously feel that way. But if this attitude does come across in interviews, it could really work against you. I know from my experience in dealing with visiting students at my previous schools that the biggest complaint about interviewees that faculty/current students have is "this applicant was too full of himself"/"this applicant assumed he was already in and was acting cocky." In many cases, those interviewees are not accepted into the program, as that's a personality trait that most people don't like.I'm not saying that this is what you did at your interviews. I understand that this process can be really frustrating and that you were probably just letting off some steam (which, let's face it, we all want to do and should do from time to time). You were likely much more courteous and composed at the interviews. But, just in case, it's something to be mindful of. You sound like you're a very qualified applicant who is definitely smart enough for a PhD program! But if the person interviewing you senses that you feel entitled to the admissions slot before you are formally admitted, then that alone can slash your chances… especially since there are probably many other people who have applied that have similar qualifications but who may be more modest.
No I totally agree. My initial post seemed a little arrogant and angry. But I believe it came across worse than anticipated. Trust me I am not as crude- I would have not made it this far. I do not think I came across this way in interviews since I got feedback that my research background was too dominant for a practice oriented program. We all have our weak moments, mine apparently is a little silly. I am obviously not entitled, since I have had no contact with my "prestigious" father in over 15 yrs. So I have no received any benefit from his successes nor will I ever. Either way this place is not the place to let off steam ( how many times do I have to agree with everyone?)....
We live, we struggle and fall down...but we must get up and live another day. Thanx for the feedback either way. Even though people have replied very harshly, I can understand. their judgement. Either way life goes on.
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I hope you don't think medical school has an easier application process than PhD programs. It is, if anything, significantly harder.
Maybe you were just a bad "fit" for the programs that you applied to and interviewed at. However, feeling "betrayed" by the system is just childish. Everyone has to play the same game.
So right, I admit to the childishness. But I am over it. I do believe I may have chosen programs where I did not fit. Criticism to take into account
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Hang on, you have all this psychology background, plus a nursing/surgical background, plus a dancer/choreographer background...huh?
How old are you? How have you had time to fit in the education for all these careers plus, presumably, doing the careers for a while? Even if you were 50, that is a lot to squeeze in.
And maybe that is part of the issue - all the chopping and changing. An adcomm might not think you were committed to pursuing psychology as a career. It's my understanding that adcomms want candidates who will stick it out and finish.
I am a non-traditional student. Professional choreographer retired d/t injury. Then went into healthcare - now expanding in academia. Some people go to school while they finish college, I had careers while I finished. I was working in anesthesia while I finished my undergrad...first psychiatric nursing was an option then I wanted to do more research.
Prof. dancer/choreographers are in a competitive world so it is not surprising that I could not rely on it after a back injury on stage. While trying to rehab for back injury I went into nursing school. It does not seem too unusual to me considering I was seriously injured and it ended my career at 19.
Mind you I got early start (grad HS when I was 16 & grad. assoc. at 18 or so). If that is something that looks "choppy" then I am limited to what I can change (in the past). But I do have to take into consideration of what it appears on paper....I am kinda in my 30's now and have always had 2-3 jobs at one time all my life. Maybe being a workaholic looks unfocused? I guess I could see that. Working 40 hrs in surgery plus 15 hrs a week in research does seem a little much...or maybe I chose the wrong programs and need to use my healthcare background to an advantage.
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Don't mix your vodka, just take a double shot for each rejection you got. And don't read your dad's CV.
You'll be good.
Ya that would have been easier....
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sir, I respect that you were angry but i would hope that you can at least understand where I was coming from.
You blatantly disrespected other PhD programs which you felt were inferior, and you made it clear that you conisder a PhD worthwhile simply so that you can claim the title "doctor". Further, this is almost not worthwhile in your mind because you will be making ~60,000 annually, and what a joke that is.
Frankly, I do not think you would say these things (even in a rant) if you did not feel this way deep down in your heart.
I am being judgemental, but I think that you care too much about your father's career. Multiple times you mention your successful, fulfilling career before studying psychology and deciding to pursue a PhD (which you then bashed). Furthermore, you mention your father multiple times as being a reason why you "should have a PhD". These are the reasons I said I do not feel you have the conviction. I do not find it funny.
I feel that in times of anger, our true feelings can emerge.
perhaps I am incorrect in your case. I hope that you live a fulfilling life with whatever you choose.
p.s. don't let your father define you!
Valid points taken. You're family should never define...At a moment of weakness it is always easier to point fingers even though all the responsibility is mine. Obviously I went there. Trust me I can not rely on other people's successes or failures, nor can I expect that to make me life easier. It never will, nor will it "pave" a destiny for me. Although my perspective is bleak, at least I am realistic about my failures.
I did not make it to the cut and I vented. There is no excuse for what I said or who I am. Does it matter that I will be disappointing? Did I get that call that said, "I don't see why you did not get accepted there- I think you should have never applied. I got in to Stanford and you can't get into that school?"
With a combination of frustration, forward and cold comments in my life, it's hard to take 4 rejections (plus nasty comments) and still be "perky." About this process. If people lack empathy in this regard. So be it.
Either way I don't care for his career - but he does a great job of tearing down my chosen careers. That's life. And that's the truth of it all. You can't focus on other people being happy, I have to focus on making my life content.
And I am happy with how I have accepted this, I am fine with getting a job and going into a masters program.
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I don't know... I am pretty bad with it. Drinking and crying, lol...
Ditto on that one....
Baby on the way
in Officially Grads
Posted
OP, Firstly congratulations on the news! I know it may seem like a frightful endeavor during your program but I do believe it is possible. Personally, I applied to a PhD program as a single mom and transitioned well with my daughter. Currently, I am 7 months pregnant and will be organizing my tight schedule to have her during spring break. Taking 6 classes plus working on dissertation outline, lit review and maintaining a GA position while very pregnant (with a toddler at home) is quite a challenge for me. Since my boyfriend is out of state, I am realistically on my own with all of this.
So, it is possible! I wish you well and enjoy it because it goes fairly quickly and next thing you know your child is running around and talking. Make sure you find a supportive network in your program, I have wonderful faculty members who are family oriented and make it oh so much nicer and less stressful. Especially since I am expecting another and I have only completed my first semester as of now. Either way, having a child is a life changing experience that can be frightful but a wonderful transition that is a treasure.