GodelEscher

At this point after two PhD interviews (rejected) and 5 Masters interviews (pending) I kind of feel I am playing the lottery...although I am frustrated with this process I have come to like the idea of attending a Masters program, doing a thesis and working. Maybe a PhD is not in my cards right now, not because I am not competitive (4 posters, 2 talks; international and local conferences, pending publication) rather maybe this is the world telling me I need to work a little, and research a lot. Maybe apply to more diverse programs like health/beha. med. or even MD/PHD programs. Maybe I applied to the wrong programs for me. I am confident I am a very strong candidate but maybe my nursing/surgical background will stand out in a more medical oriented field??? Maybe?

Valid point. Besides, I need this year to re-evaluate whether this is really what I want. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe I do not understand the reason - but I will later.

Neil Armstrong walked on the moon but when he got home he still had to take out the trash. -Just read that. Love it...

I am human, and hurt from rejection does pass ultimately. I did not mean to attack Masters programs per se, rather it is an admittance that maybe I need the masters to gain experience for a possible future in PhD. Either way, spite does not live long in my heart. I think I probably belong in a Masters program....and i suppose I came off rather abrasive (like a lot). I guess this is not the place to vent. If I offended anyone sorry I am honest and get frustrated...LOL i am human. The ultimate karma has already happened...

"I don't really care" ... I know I applied to 15 FYI but either way you are so right. I appreciate the honesty.

So flipping right! See I am not alone! I am a little irritated that people say "Well at least you tried." Ummm that never helps. People have no understanding that this a grueling and painful experience. What's worse is that the grad students that I work with only applied to *ONE* program....me? 15. I think I have come to accept that I will not get in this season, nor will I try again next year. Either you get in or you don't. I honestly don't have the financial and emotional means to do it again. I have minimal support around me. Maybe from the grad students :pat on the back: "there's always next year" or from my mom "At least you tried, some people never try for a PhD"....sorry mother that does not help....sorry grad students I am not a whiz like you.

Yes, I think the fact that I do not even have an UG thesis may be the culprit, which I feel is a little unfair because my UG program did not even have one (can you believe that!). So hopefully getting into a Masters program will help if I chose to reapply next year. No interview for 15 program? Ouch. As another rejection email comes in (this morning) I have realized this process is not about being less competitive rather, maybe finding different programs that fit or the necessity to build my CV more. Either way, I am reassessing whether this is the field for me. Things look rather different when you are a single mom with no support. Frustrating but maybe I am not meant for this field. Maybe I am a better fit in a different area of research....

LOL so judgmental but funny at the same time.

Ahh a voice of reason. Thank you for understanding. Although rejection is rough (why did they decide to reject all at the same time?) it is part of this overwhelming process. In regards to Plan B, you have a valid point - since I may not be competitive "enough" (and I though I was) there is always room for more achievement so I am re-focusing on my masters interview this morning. Although 4 rejections at once are hurtful, I am realistic. I get angry, I am human....now I am over it. So be it. Now on to the next conquest...plus I am still waitlisted at one program so I won't know where I will be after April 15th. Either way I am proud this application process is challenging me because I would not be part of it if it was not. It's a new day....besides I did not know I would be criticized for being "human" and frustrated from the process (aren't we all in the same boat?). Isn't that what the internet is for? To vent? and get over it? geez...

Oh goodness thank you. Yes, my previous post was quite negative. We all have our moments. Ahh but a new morning does a lot when I have realized that life never goes the way we "want." I am a little frustrated with 4 consecutive rejects via email. Seriously, what an odd phenomenon (or maybe not). Either way now that it's a new morning, I have slept and dealt with realty...'tis ok. Sometimes we get in...sometimes we don't. I'm just glad I applied to various programs so now re-focusing on achieving a well funded masters program. At times we fall, but the point is getting up...not dwelling on why....so here I am, slapping the dirt of me and facing the embarrassment. Life goes on (thank goodness).....eh bitterness never lasts in my heart (there are better things to waste energy on).

So true...thank you for the insight. Although I am very negative, I may be bias because I received 4 rejections in one day so I am quite spiteful. However you have made some great points

forgive me for my anger that seems justified...my father is a stanford grad with 120 pubs and well known in his field...you would feel less than if you were in my position as well

I do want research, I'm sorry my anger blurrs that. I am not all over the place rather very sarcastic. Maybe you do not understand dry humor. Besides i never showed any other 'signs'...like you know?

or maybe I should go to medical school...

Rejection hurts is not accurate enough to describe. I think this whole process is pathetic (psychology). Getting a 4.0 is not good enough and having excellent research experience is not good enough. So we compete into a program so we can get a job for 30,000 (internship) or 60,000 (faculty). There has got to be something better out there. This is dehumanizing, humiliating and disgusting. I think I should just go into a PA program, do my prereques and complete a 2 year program so I can make 70,000 a yr...Nobody cares how established you are in academia. Nobody cares if you are a great researcher...f***k it. I want to go back into surgery where I belong

atleast u dont have 2 rejections for Phd programs post interview.....I have nothing. nothing. No more PhD interviews. 15 applications and all I got was a bottle of vodka to drown my sorrows. One waitlist (#6)....I'm a failure

Rejected from two PhD programs post interview. Screw this whole process.... Now all I can interview is for masters programs? So what, I can be a LPC and work while I feel the failure of never getting a PhD program succumb me? I hate this process. 2 rejections post interview for PhD, 3 masters programs pending and a disgust that won't leave me. Oh yeah and a pitiful waitlist for # 6 (yay :sarcasm:). So what do I do now? Beg to get off waitlist? Maybe if I fly over for their Masters program interview and speak to PhD program they might see I have dedication? Hell I don't know.... maybe I should give up, get a PhD in leadership (education) LOL..the program is only 2 years! then laugh at other people who took the "rigorous" 5+ yr route...har har har...someone fill up my vodka!!! Cause I am going into education... or should I beg for NMSU (New Mexico) Phd program....I can't bear all these rejections. I flippin went to Julliard and Calarts, I'm talented...i should have stayed as a professional dancer/choreographer. what to do....oh maybe get a refill on my drink so I can drown in my sorrows. Sounds good

2nd rejection post interview...I have no more PhD interviews....let's go get a PhD in education. It only takes 2 years and then we can work in healthcare. Make all the drs call me Dr. and make fun of all those people who went to 5+ year programs...har har har I got my PhD in 2 years.... LOL

Received rejection after second interview for Counseling PhD program. I am angry. So flipping angry. I worked so hard to get to this point. I had no moral support in my relationship which fell apart and no support from my family. How am I supposed to continue and face people at my lab? Every year people have got accepted into PhD programs from my lab, now I have tarnished their streak. How am I supposed to deal? My father is a renown Stanford and Columbia grad who has hundreds of papers published, got tenured in a few years after his Phd....and I have nothing. What a masters program? That is failure. To boast and be confident that all the research hours, the countless dedication ultimately means nothing. I am disgusted that I have been rejected after two interviews. Disappointed, astonished, angry. I don't have enough energy to do this again. I give up. I hate my f****n life. Masters program? Then what, work a measly job as a therapist while I know I failed. Maybe this career is not for me. I am not built for rejection. For god's sake I went to Julliard, I went to Calarts, I worked as a professional dancer in my first career. I was the cream of the crop in choreography...but psychology I am fighting for the top. This profession is not for me. It makes my skin crawl. I guess I am going back to flipping school for my prerequisites to be a PA....f***k this. I am so angry. I can't believe this.

-It is never a question of when because you will never be completely ready. Ever. -For a lot of people it takes many attempts before it is the result they want. -you start by accidently telling someone you "just might try"...next thing you know it, you are out of obligation. - you think, "When all of this is over, finally I will be happy"...then you realize it never comes. - Once it happens....you are never first. Impossible to be selfish...research/child is always first

Graduated HS early (one month after 17 yr old birthday) and graduated with Associates from Community College. Applied all over for undergrad - went to CALARTS then got injured while performing/ choreographing in LA. Then went to Nursing school, went to mortuary school (hated it, dropped out month later), went to Cardio Tech school (bored) then started working as gasteroenterology tech (surgery) and later became anesthesia assistant. Tired of working for 50-60 hours a week with no respect, so finished my last 52 credits in one year, was RA for 3 labs, did posters, etc...and now graduated 3.78 GPA and a paid RA for one lab while I wait on acceptances. I am not the first to go to college, father went to Stanford (Phd) and Columbia - mom has Masters in administration, so I have some big shoes to fill (dad has 4 + books, prominently published in Chicano Studies and grad w/ Phd at 29, tenured soon thereafter...like seriously) Oh and I had a child while working 50 hrs a week, taking five classes and doing research. I only missed two classes to have my daughter to resume to the craziness as usual. I'm seriously eager to get in to a PhD program, especially when I spent a lot of time & money & energy on 16 applications....

I got an interview for University XXXX! "Isn't that far?" "Yes, a few states away" "So that means you have to move?" "Uhh...yes. It is a PhD program" "Well what are you going to with _____ (my daughter)" ....."ummm take her!" So moving for a PhD program means I am no longer a mother , huh?

Awesome! I don't feel alone....I'm super excited and people still wonder why ("why did you apply there?"). Sometimes I feel I might have been the only applicant....