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Posts posted by veggiez

  1. I moved in August and my boyfriend of four years was so supportive and willing to do long distance because he was still in undergrad and would then be pursuing grad school elsewhere. In November, I flew to visit him and he broke up with me. Since then, I have felt so lost and lonely because he was truly my support system and now I don't have that. I have been trying to reach out to my roommates and other grad student friends, but most of them put school and their own relationships above friendships, so I am really struggling.

    I am trying to get involved with more social things outside of school and maintain the few long-distance friendships I still have. Sometimes striking up a conversation with a stranger makes me feel a lot better. The worst part is coming home to my apartment and being alone with no one to call or text and tell about my whole day. I am just trying to be patient and hoping that someone will come along as a very best friend or my next boyfriend and things will start looking up, but at the moment, I can definitely relate.

  2. I moved from MD to TX in August. The move itself wasn't bad, although I did leave a boyfriend (now ex...) behind. I found that all of the new students wanted to hang out a lot, so that kept me busy along with navigating school. I actually found the most anxiety-filled time to be the end of the semester when my friends were all headed home to spend the holidays with their families and classes were over, so I didn't have that to keep me busy anymore. I am still coping with the loneliness of moving so far away from the people I love, but I have turned it into a New Year's resolution to branch outside of my department and make friends who have other interests so that I can begin to feel more at home in the city. I also purposefully found roommates who were moving to start graduate school as well so that we can all lean on each other when the home-sickness sets in, and I am never left alone in my apartment feeling sad.

    I'm sure it won't be as bad as you think. Just remember this phase of your life is not going to last forever, and take time to explore Kansas so that one day when you tell people you spent a few years there for graduate school, you have stories to tell about the mid-west. 

  3. I am a rather introverted person as well, but I will be living with two roommates from my department in the fall. I lived alone through most of undergrad and I found that even though I love having my own space, I will get lonely not having anyone around when I want company. 

    Most of us going to graduate school are introverts, so I feel like living together will be comfortable in that we will leave each other alone most of the time and still have people around if we don't feel like being alone.

    In my situation, I am only 20 and I am moving 23 hours away from my family, my boyfriend, and all of my friends. Although I don't desire to come home to parties every night, I also think coming home to an empty apartment while so many others in my department are going home to significant others or roommates would make me very homesick, so just having someone around would make me feel a little better.

  4. I think it is a great idea and all 3 of you are great hosts. The only thing is that you tend to get sidetracked into inside jokes often that result in a bit too much laughter so that I don't really understand what you guys are saying. That kind of frustrates me as a listener and sounds less professional than some of the other podcasts I have heard. As I said, you guys are great hosts and there is a ton of potential if you could maybe edit out some of those inside jokes and laughing bits or just somehow plan the things you are going to say so you don't get too sidetracked. That being said, it does sound like you guys are having a ton of fun making the podcasts so keep it up.


    Maybe you could do one on the transition from undergrad into grad school or what the similarities and differences are between the two for those of us who are entering graduate school in the fall. 


    I really enjoyed the first two podcasts, and I have subscribed so I am excited to hear what else you guys have to say in the future episodes!

  5. I am worried about this as well, but I have decided that if I want to not be lonely in grad school the way I was in undergrad, I have to just really push myself out of my comfort zone for the first few weeks until I establish a group of friends. That means striking up conversations with people I don't know, making an effort to meet my neighbors when I move into my apartment, and accepting any invitations that come my way. I figure it might be uncomfortable, but if I don't attempt to make friends in the beginning, it will be very awkward when I later really want friends and I attempt to strike up a conversation for the first time with someone I have passed a million times without saying anything. 

    Because I was nervous about being lonely and miserable, I made it a very important point to find roommates and not live alone. Again, although sometimes I might want to be alone, I am doing this for those times when I really want someone to be there and no one is. My SO served as somewhat of a crutch when I was lonely in undergrad, but he is not moving with me, and a phone call or skype conversation is not fully comforting when I want to be with other people. 

    So I guess the advice I am hoping will work for both you and me is to be as friendly as possible from the beginning and push yourself to do as many social things as possible, even if it is exhausting. 

  6. I am glad you asked this question! I am in the same position: a psych major who just graduated with a BS from a small school and will be studying neuroscience at a large public school. I was planning on reading some articles that interest me for future ideas, but trying not to overwhelm myself because I am very nervous about getting burnt out. This last semester of undergrad nearly burnt me out, so I want to have enough of a summer break that I can handle the more rigorous graduate work. 


    Another question: Should I be contacting my advisor often this summer? I don't want to stress myself out with work, but I would also hate to be the one person who hasn't emailed him all summer and doesn't know what is going on when I get there in the fall.

  7. I am in a bit of a dilemma: I emailed my graduate secretary for the names of other people in the program, then emailed them all asking if anyone is looking for a roommate. One person responded and seemed like a great fit, but later decided to go with someone who was in her lab instead because she thought they would have more in common. Then another responded and we found an apartment, she committed, I filled out the application and was waiting for her to do the same, when she decided this apartment was too expensive and backed out. Since I had already paid the application fee, I frantically emailed the other students again asking if anyone was still looking for a roommate, but I have gotten no response. What should I do? Is there another safe way to go about finding roommates? I don't want to live alone because I can't really afford it and I would be very lonely. I could live in the graduate housing, but it costs nearly my entire stipend per month, so I would have to take out loans and that isn't ideal either.

  8. Does anyone know anything about the apartment complexes known as "gaslight square" or "shibui apartments" in Houston? They are in the Montrose area and very affordable, but I can't seem to find reviews anywhere, specifically for gaslight square, and it makes me a little nervous.

  9. Hey guys! Could whoever got unofficially accepted at the University of Houston for I/O PM me? I don't need your POI, but I got an unofficial acceptance there too for the Developmental Cognitive Neuroscience Program (waiting for my letter) and wanted to talk if you plan to go there (since we will likely be taking classes together in the fall).

  10. Does anyone else's UBC "submitted applications" page not actually show a status when you click the status button? Mine just says like student number, name, birthdate  etc. and the status of letters of reference. I'm pretty sure it's looked like this since I first submitted.

    Yeah that is exactly what mine looks like. I just assume they will let me know by email eventually...

    Based on what other people have posted I am expecting a rejection

  11. Same here. I interviewed with a program feb. 8th and I really liked the program. 


    Furthermore, I thought the interview went really well. I seemed to be answering questions well. One prof said I asked good questions, the other said I had a good thought process. 


    After the faculty dinner, one of the graduate students said they felt I would be a good fit for the program and another that I seemed to be very dedicated. 


    Sent out my thank you notes and one member of the admissions committee sent back "Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you in your decision process", along with all the cordial thank yous I got as well. 



    ....And then silence. I haven't heard anything from them in weeks. They did another interview weekend last week and some of those students heard yesterday. 


    And of course, I started doing the same thing. Questioning if I made the right impression, if I said something wrong, is my application not strong enough. I learned yesterday that the book chapter I wrote isn't being published until July, when I told them February, so I emailed the people who asked stating the delay. 


    And now wondering if I misunderstood their comments. 


    At this point the best I'm hoping for is that I was wait listed and will hear as soon as other schools send out reply. Historically they have sent out a few acceptances in the first two weeks of March as well. 


    I'm kind of on the other side of this (sincerely not trying to make you more nervous because I am sure you are amazing and I am the exception here) but something similar happened to me after an interview early in February. I knew that I was going to like the school and that it was pretty competitive, so I put my best foot forward and interviewed the best I possibly could. There were no awkward silences and I thought things went really well when I talked to the current students and my POI and even the other professors. I had great conversations and tried to convey my enthusiasm in this being my first choice school. As far as I could tell, I was doing everything right and things were going very well. I sent out my thank you and the POI said it might be a few weeks because they are working out additional funding issues, and then 2 weeks later, bam, rejection. It came out of nowhere and I was absolutely crushed. There were two other students applying to work with the same POI as I was, but neither was sure that this was their top school, so I figured if nothing else I would be waitlisted and there was a chance that neither of them would come and I could go there. Unfortunately I was flat out rejected and I am still very hurt and confused as to why I thought it went so well and apparently it went terribly enough that they didn't even want to waitlist me.


    I know this makes no one feel better, but it does feel good to get it off my chest. I think this is very uncommon and most people who interview (at least for my programs) get in, but I am still quite bitter and unsure of what to do with my life now.

  12. It's a little different, but now that I have acceptances I hate telling people because instead of a congratulations, they feel like they need to put in their 2 cents about which program they think is best. It's like they try to put this whole other stress of me making a decision. In the end it is about what is best for me and my family and I need to throw opinions aside unless they have genuine evidence or reasoning behind their opinions.


    This is happening to me too, and it's overwhelming. Like as soon as I get an offer, I am bombarded with people telling me what they think about the school and how they can't really see me there or think I should wait and see what else I get. I don't ever have a chance to tell anyone what I think about my offers because they jump right into what I should think. It's a big decision and I am not ready to make it based on what other people think about the school.

  13. Awww, cheer up! Just because you got rejected from one school does not mean you are going to get rejected from them all. Instead, use this next interview as an opportunity. Who knows? Maybe this next school is actually your dream school. You know, it's kind of funny how we go through this process. I feel like it's really easy for our "dream schools" and schools lower on our list to change places. I don't know whether you believe everything happens for a reason, but I do. I truly think we will all be in the right place come fall.


    Just think, this makes your choice easier :). Good luck on your interview!


    All day I have been thinking that I wished I believed everything happened for a reason. Unfortunately, I don't because I am an atheist and everything happening for a reason implies that there is some greater plan for my life.


    I just keep telling myself I will eventually look back on this and see it as a good thing because most people don't have counterfactuals that leave them feeling negative for the long term (social cog for the win).


    So I know it will get better, and there is nothing I can do now, so I just have to move on.

  14. I got rejected today from my dream school after I had an interview. Cried for 3 hours and ate everything in my apartment. I'm still kind of in shock and afraid to wake up tomorrow and realize this is still my reality. Now I am worried about my interview next weekend because it makes me want to get in so badly, but I am terrified of feeling good about an interview again and getting rejected.

  15. I'm sorry your thread got turned into a debate about interviews when you really wanted specific advice about communication. FWIW I have a great offer from a school that I may not be able to visit because of scheduling conflicts and I am in a similiar predicament with my top choice (still waiting). So, I've been doing the communication dance with a few schools.


    I think you should continue your correspondence with your POI(s) etc. (I have done this and they have been amazing) and be very honest. These are your future colleagues and you dont want to start off on the wrong foot by burning bridges. I think it would be right to thank them for all of their information and tell them that you are in the process of reviewing the information to ensure that you find the best fit. You can tell them that you are strongly considering their offer and they are on the very top of the schools you are considering. However, you are still waiting on some schools to make sure that you have all of the information that you need to make the best decision possible. Schools know that other schools havent all notified yet. Schools also know that students like to wait until all of their offers come in. It just makes sense and as long as you are diplomatic and honest (the best you can), don't worry too much.


    It will help if you have a good sense whether you want to go there as soon as possible though. If you really don't then you should give them the axe as soon as possible, as diplomatically as possible. Sometimes schools have waitlists and thats not fair to them (mine dont) but also, schools also have to figure out their cohorts as soon as possible. Take as much time as you need, be aware of any deadlines for fellowships that they may have given you(some schools have these... I have a March 1st one thats freaking me out), and be fair and honest. Remember not all schools or offers are tied to the April 15 deadline, so make sure you know all the details about your offers so that you dont lose your fellowship to someone else (if your funding works that way.. funding packages are cobbled together tons of different ways). Best of luck!!!!!! I'm sure you will make a great decision with school.

    Thank you so much! This is all good advice and mainly along the same lines I was thinking. I wish my other schools would let me know already so I can give a spot to someone on the waitlist at at least one school.

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