danisj

Thank you, everyone, for your responses! Fortunately, all of my recommenders submitted their letters today. Yesterday, life seemed pretty bleak, but now I feel much better. I left out an important detail. My recommenders are not professors. Unlike professors, my recommenders do not carry the same kind of heavy workload, they do not have countless letters to write nor are they familiar with the process. I made sure to ask them if the target date was fair, if they had any questions or concerns. I gave them all a lot of guidance on these letters. They all said they would submit by my target date, that it was "more than enough time." If they wanted/needed more time, all they had to do is tell me. I'm very understanding and considerate. After all, they are doing me a favor. But they never hinted at that whatsoever. Then they didn't respond. That was my issue. To give a sense of one of my recommenders...Today he said to me, "Maybe if I put these off long enough I won't have to do them at all." He was not joking. Shame on me for choosing this character. I immediately removed him from sending letters to my top two schools. I gave him plenty of opportunities to back out so I just don't understand. I set artificial deadlines for multiple reasons, but as I think about it now, I think a major reason is because I didn't trust my recommenders enough. You live and you learn, I guess. And boy, I have learned a lot in these two years after undergrad.

Agree with stapling to his forehead. I hope you got to him by now.

Well, it's good to know I'm not alone in freaking out over recommendations. After three "target date" extensions, 3 out of my 4 recommenders have not submitted to all 5 schools I am applying to. I initially asked them in late August/early September and they all responded enthusiastically. Now, the target date I set is this Saturday, November 30th. One day before applications are due. I didn't want to bug them, but 2 hadn't even acknowledged my email in October. These two recommenders have really dropped the ball. Checked each recommendation system- they hadn't even opened the links. I was never a pest- I only initiated three e-mails between Sept and November 11th. All were update emails-about updating the target date, or sending a helpful document with more information about my work/program. None of these e-mails put pressure on them to write the letters immediately. So, on November 12th, I sent the two non-responders a polite email to their work address to ask if they were receiving my emails. At that time, my target date was November 18th. One replied, "Yes, I got your email and I set myself a calendar reminder to work on it." As if I had jumped to some wild conclusion after nearly a month of not hearing from her. The other said, "I'll get to it this weekend. Should take me an hour maximum!" It is not very comforting to know that it will take him 12 minutes for each letter when it has been nearly 3 months. Well, now it's Wednesday, November 27th. Three days before my target date, 4 days before the deadline. These two recommenders still have not submitted ANY letters or even opened the links. I'm double concerned because Thanksgiving holiday starts tomorrow. I'm sure they have family plans, but I really need them to finish these letters. I used each grad school application system to resend links tonight. Hopefully they will get the hint without me having to write personal emails to bug them. Is there anything else I can do at this point?

I'm trying hard not to get fixated on one specific school. I know I shouldn't be so focused on one...I'm not a stellar applicant by any means. I would thank my lucky stars if I got into any school. For goodness sakes, I'm applying to 8 fantastic MS programs that would fit me! I don't want to be disappointed, but I can't seem to shake this obsession with one school. Has anyone (Masters/PhD) overcome a similar fixation during application season?

This is an amazing thread. It pretty much hit the nail on the head for me. I've struggled with this all of my life. It's only this year that I have learned to ignore them. At 23, it's time for me to embrace my academic side and go to grad school. I was smart in high school, but I made no effort whatsoever. I didn't read, was a procrastinator and I took the easy way out all of the time. Low achievers who end up doing well enough are "cool." I wanted to be cool so I did the bare minimum. I made it to my dream college, but I kept up the same work ethic. This did not fly in college, but I didn't have a good support group to break out of my bad habits. After being in a job I hate for two years, I regret downplaying my academic achievement. I should have worked harder and been proud about academic achievements. It only hurt me in college and I can see it hurting me in the future. At the same time, we have a political culture that devalues education as "elitist" and "snobbish," and that combined with the fact that a college degree nowadays can't guarantee you a job at McDonald's, have emboldened people who chose not to pursue higher education (or were unable due to a variety of circumstances) to try to bring down those who have. We have to ignore these people. People are nonsense. We can't always figure out their motives behind what they say, so there is no need to let it affect us. I have to make up for the time I lost by listening to these people. I just hope that it's not too late.

what if you don't live near your university?

I would like to apply to a Human-Centered Systems program in the Fall of 2014. I have the same interest as you, UX. I come from a communications background and I work at a tech company. I have a huge list of schools I want to narrow down before applying, so I'm not sure yet. Jenny, is your program is 12 months long?