I think there are some generalizations being made about life outside academia, and no one should be going to grad school smugly satisfied that they're escaping some cradle-to-grave careerist drudgery.
If you want a secure career and being able to provide for your family, then you should weigh that against your degree, I'm a dreamer as much as anyone, but no one should end up as one of those poor PhDs earning nothing as an adjunct faculty somewhere. It seems like OP is mostly concerned with his current status relative to his peer group, but I'd wager that over time your degree will help you in ways you can't quantify at the moment.
I agree with Takeruk that PhD students should be better compensated for the work they do, i.e. earn at least enough to put away a little for retirement, and it seems like some people stay in the poorly compensated post-doc limbo too long. At the same time, having no debt is nice, I mean compare with a student taking on $50k a year at a lowly-ranked law school (eeek!).
At the moment I'm talking to any PhD I can find while applying to schools, trying to collate and distill all of their collective hindsight. So far this is what I've learned:
1. (from PhD guy running massively successful healthcare startup): during grad school try to develop yourself outside of your niche, (ex. management skills, technical, interpersonal, etc). It's difficult but by balancing this you can prepare for a move out of academia should your plans change. Along with this you should try to network throughout your degree, so you have something you can build on following graduation.
2. Don't work for a bastard PI: One of my chemistry professors did his PhD at Caltech, and he said there was one prof who refused to write LORs for any of his students for top 20 schools, in order to stop them competing with him for grants!
Anyone have any others?