LittleDarlings

It sounds like grad school has gone well for you - which is great. 
I wouldn't freak out too much, I remember you worried about getting accepted into the program, getting funded and settling in...all of which you managed.

Maybe it would help to start referring to yourself as an adult!

You just have to look at the small things. For example, when I was a kid, I always thought an awesome thing would be to make fried chicken but with crushed Oreos cookies instead of the regular batter. However, now that I have the money and ability to make such a thing, I think it sounds super disgusting. That's how I know I'm an adult.

So I haven't been on in forever and a day! School kept me so busy last year but here I am! In my last year of grad school! Who would have thought?! So I was thinking back on some of the super dumb stuff I posted and I can't believe I said some of that stuff (I am still desperately searching for a husband before I turn 25 in December and I don't include that in the stupid stuff I have said).  Anyways I am getting so anxious for graduation and finishing and finding a job how do I calm it down? I am already freaking out over the licensing exam and I started studying this Summer. I am panicked I am going to be a big kid in this world now... which is scary because I don't feel like a big kid, I don't have a big kid life.

I have noticed that too, I just started deleting a ton of people, I don't need the garbage on my newsfeed lol. 
You have a boyfriend that you live with.. you can easily get married and have a baby now if you actually wanted. I feel like you have no reason to not be happy. 

Just how much time I am giving up.  I haven't seen my close friends in forever, and I just spend time studying and reading stuff and doing papers.  I suck at time management and I try to just balance going on dates, and writing papers and doing homework.  This semester has been really bad for me I haven't read anything lol I just kind of go with it. Other than that I wasn't surprised by much.  I think I went into grad school with a undergrad mentality, I thought it would be a ton of parties and mingling with people and having fun.... It's not.  People literally just want to do a bunch of work and be boring, everyone is married or in relationships... Basically grad school kind of sucks, don't do it if you don't absolutely have to! It sucks to watch all your friends do fun things with their lives like travel, go to Marti Gras, move to new states, have babies, get married, buy new cars, and just do FUN stuff and you are writing a paper about something that you will likely never use again.  I love grad school, I love what I am doing but I wish my life was more fun than it is. 

Who cares what program she is? Like really?

Late 20s is old to date a teenager yes.
And she is entitled to do whatever she wants but the fact of the matter is he isn't even talking to her anymore... That says something right there.

Just how much time I am giving up.  I haven't seen my close friends in forever, and I just spend time studying and reading stuff and doing papers.  I suck at time management and I try to just balance going on dates, and writing papers and doing homework.  This semester has been really bad for me I haven't read anything lol I just kind of go with it. Other than that I wasn't surprised by much.  I think I went into grad school with a undergrad mentality, I thought it would be a ton of parties and mingling with people and having fun.... It's not.  People literally just want to do a bunch of work and be boring, everyone is married or in relationships... Basically grad school kind of sucks, don't do it if you don't absolutely have to! It sucks to watch all your friends do fun things with their lives like travel, go to Marti Gras, move to new states, have babies, get married, buy new cars, and just do FUN stuff and you are writing a paper about something that you will likely never use again.  I love grad school, I love what I am doing but I wish my life was more fun than it is. 

Well for your info I have been in a long distance relationship and if actually went on for a while so I do know what I am talking about. Guess what?? It didn't last because most LDR don't... Just saying. If a relationship was important to some people I just couldn't see them willingly embarking on something so difficult that could ruin it. Simple as that.
BUT it's whatever it doesn't even remotely matter to me so good luck with whatever happens in your relationships or whatever.

Exactly... Why put yourself in that position.
I know this guy who moved from Kentucky to Ohio for his girlfriends PhD program. If you love someone why wouldn't you make the sacrifice and effort. Seems dumb to let something like that complicate a relationship.

Whatever.  I am not even going to argue this anymore. It is dumb.  He obviously doesn't want her, he hasn't talked to her in months, why is this even a discussion still? My opinion is unchanged. I think a man in his late 20s who would date a teen has some issues, it isn't even that he has issues I guess, I mean who wouldn't want "a newer model" but I just don't think it can last long term.  I doubt a 29 year old man is going to marry his 19 year old girlfriend, I mean really.  I don't even think I said that you CANNOT EVER date older, I am just saying don't be a teenager dating that much older.  I obviously have no problem with being an adult and dating someone older. I'm 23 I want marriage and kids ASAP and a 23 year old isn't into that.  I don't mind dating 30 and up but like I said I am 23 dating older not a teenager. That is my opinion, you don't have to agree but it isn't changing.  

I really don't need a lecture on people, or relationships... I am saying that a guy who is in his late 20s choosing to date a teenager is sketchy.. that is that.  i will not be changing my opinion so thank you for trying but no thank you. If older guys chose to date you because you are a young single mom and they can relate to that then more power to them but at 18 and 19 she should maybe be dating 23 at the oldest.  I am not even saying that people can't date older, I am saying the a grown man dating a TEENAGER is wrong, weird and bad.  I am 23 I have gone out with guys in their 30s but guess what.. I'm 23 not 18. 

Sorry I guess at 18 and 19 I wasn't interested in dating old men... How awful of me :/

Oh whatever, you wouldn't question a 40 year old dating a 20 year old? Anyone would. Anyways doesn't matter, I'm going to judge it. Like I said I don't necessarily see the issue with an early 20 something dating an older 20 something or 30 something. Been there done that... Still doing it... but a late 20s dating a TEENAGER yeah that's a problem and I'm going to judge it.

And it's my right to judge them, actually I can pretty much judge anyone I want.. If a man in his late 20s would pursue a teenager I'm going to judge and say that is questionable and suspect. I doubt he is going to pursue a long term relationship with her. Maybe some fun for a little while but like I said before I doubt that's the person he would eventually marry or be with forever.
I'm not even saying that age gaps are bad, just the whole being an adult dating a teen is weird in my opinion. Like I said I have dated older as a 22 and 23 year old but when I was 18 and 19 dating someone who was 27 or 28 was just a no.

Lol umm I call a spade a spade. If I person is blatantly a 2 then sorry that's their problem but don't be a 2 and dating a 10 it's just not ok. So yes I have no problem labeling someone a 2 or a 10. Sorry not sorry. I totally think you can be attracted to someone who isn't as attractive. I dated someone that my friends would have not considered attractive at all, I didn't even consider him attractive until we talked and out conversations just clicked perfectly and flowed and he became more and more attractive. I know it can happen but at the same time it just doesn't sit well with me when I am walking through the mall and I see it.

You have to eventually be compatible with someone. I do think I deserve a relationship, I have been through so much shit in the last few years from dating I don't see why I wouldn't deserve a relationship? I don't see how other people can easily fall into them and I can't. I'm not some terrible person and I would be a much better person as a girlfriend than I am not being one. If you don't like the post then you can easily leave and never read it or reply again.

That could be possible but I don't mention wanting kids and a family to men I go out with. My ex and I really only talked about that a few times and each time he was saying "if I got you pregnant I wouldn't want you to get rid of it but being a aren't right now would suck". Which I agreed with, even though secretly I think being a parent right now would be AWESOME! It was odd though he would make jokes or comment about our babies but when he ended it, actually suggested we take a break which I wasn't into, he said "I am not ready to get married, when you date someone they are either the person you marry or you break up". He was weird about marriage but I honestly was never the one bringing it up, he said he didn't want to get married or have kids until his 30s... He was 20, 10 years is way longer than I will wait for marriage and kids, I never said that to him though. I am not trying to skate around my responsibility in the break up, maybe I did something, maybe we weren't compatible, I admit I had major insecure moments with him but he knew and we talked about it and he would get pissed but he got over it. I just feel like one day he and I were fine and happy and he missed me and couldn't wait to see me, then the next he was suggesting a break. I do go on a lot of dates but they spring from online dating or tinder and I just feel like you have less of a chance of compatibility using that method. Specifically tinder, the 2 guys I have gone out with from there I literally pretty much knew nothing about besides their names. They just went what I expected, well the one Friday. Maybe I am a little picky but I want someone attractive who I will want to be with and go out with and have cute Facebook pics with and not someone my friends would be like "oh that's your boyfriend? Hmm". I believe in couples having matching attractive levels. It is dumb but I just hate seeing a guy who is a 10 with a girl that's a 2, unbalanced is not ok.

Yesterday my therapist suggested I reevaluate myself and I can and will but at the same time there are people in relationships who are way more mentally screwed than I am, so there is still no reason for me to not be in a relationship.

I never have to go inside to the bank, grocery shopping I guess I could see but I mean who am I really going to meet at the local Walmart? I have been going to Walmart for years and met no one so I won't hold my breath on it, get gas...? I mean maybe I actually do know this couple who met at the gas station... Yeah but they are pretty.. Mmm no comment so yeah. The point is I don't go places where I would meet someone to date. Who is going to stop me to talk at the gas station or Walmart? Been there, done that, none stopped me.

Anyways going out with a new guy tonight I met on Tinder, maybe this one will work out:) and I'm almost 100% sure he's paying for the date since he suggested the place and seems like he has a decent job. This one seems promising.

Lol I'm totally famous now so thanks!
I hope some of your students are hot guys.

In all honesty though it is so sad that you go out of your way to make fun of me and make smart comments about how dumb I am or desperate or pathetic or whatever. I wish I could edit this so the specific person knows I am speaking directly to them BUT I'm sure they have an idea. Anyways you can say what you want, in the end you aren't better than me. I got into every school I applied to also, obviously I am somewhat smart. So have fun teaching your class about me, and making fun or whatever. At least I am honest with myself and other people, I have been extremely candid on this topic and I say kudos to me. Going out of your way to bring me down or make me feel bad is really sad. Anyways good luck in school and teaching and all that. Next time I would like an entire lesson plan about me;) actually collect your hottest students numbers and send them my way! I like tall athletic blondies... Ok go! Haha

One last question, how lenient are you in terms of standards and looks (this has nothing to do with the convo but I need it for my own personal reassurance)? Would you consider yourself shallow? I met a guy problem is he lives in PA with his 3 kids (he was married and then got divorced all his kids are the product of that and I can't be upset about that's he's older than me by a lot so it is to be expected) I thought that fact that he lived in PA was a problem, turns out its like 1 and a half hours away which is good and if I go to school there who knows? We could like get a place and live with his kids and stuff! Anyways one of my biggest peeves is teeth I'm so weird about them well he has never shown me himself smiling. I have a million smile pics because I have a huge smile lol I'm scared he jas bad teeth but other than that he's great. But I can't like date someone who isn't somewhat attractive, you know? Idk I'm scared. I also met a great perfect guy in KY (the reason I want to go to UK so badly) but he wants to meet soon and I can't just go there I'm scared even though I trust him kind of I mean he doesn't seem crazy and he has a daughter so he can't be that bad of a person you know?

Thank you!! I feel like I could join EHarmony after I figure out this grad school thing and meet someone. I mean I don't see why I couldn't meet someone to marry. I'm funny and smart and nice and cute and I would be a good wife and mother. I saw my therapist today and I realized that this needs to happen soonish because I can't imagine like dealing with people with issues like teen pregnancy I would be so jealous, or people in happy relationships but who have other issues like depression (I don't know how someone could be depressed and married... If I was married I would be the happiest person alive).

I gave all of my LOR writers a gift card to starbucks and a thank you card that I wrote specifically to them. 

Just how much time I am giving up.  I haven't seen my close friends in forever, and I just spend time studying and reading stuff and doing papers.  I suck at time management and I try to just balance going on dates, and writing papers and doing homework.  This semester has been really bad for me I haven't read anything lol I just kind of go with it. Other than that I wasn't surprised by much.  I think I went into grad school with a undergrad mentality, I thought it would be a ton of parties and mingling with people and having fun.... It's not.  People literally just want to do a bunch of work and be boring, everyone is married or in relationships... Basically grad school kind of sucks, don't do it if you don't absolutely have to! It sucks to watch all your friends do fun things with their lives like travel, go to Marti Gras, move to new states, have babies, get married, buy new cars, and just do FUN stuff and you are writing a paper about something that you will likely never use again.  I love grad school, I love what I am doing but I wish my life was more fun than it is. 

Well this is going to be a long one.
 
I haven't discounted the advice I got on here I said I got some good advice and some that hasn't been and I think that is true. Like I said this thread was meant as a way to get ideas on how to meet someone, programs, places to go things like that. It started off with people saying "oh well you don't need to be in a relationship" maybe to you that is good advice, that isn't what I want to hear.  I want to know HOW TO GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP that was the point.  I am thankful for all the advice I got from helpful people and I even talked privately to a few people who were amazing and had great advice and were encouraging.  I don't discount the advice but I take what I need and I can leave the rest.  Telling me to not look isn't helping me because like I said I don't know what not looking feels like. I don't know how that is possible. I obviously am going to have to figure it out but it just wasn't what I was looking for.
 
As far as the anti-depressants maybe had you actually read the post I made about it instead of just attacking it or discounting it to "oh that's another husband thread" you would know that I am actually pretty against taking an antidepressant.  I don't deny that I got great advice from people.  Like I said in my POST (that you failed to read obviously) I am afraid of getting on a medication for the wrong reasons.  If I could figure out all this on my own just by doing therapy it would be figured out don't you think? If my therapist suggested it twice then obviously there is something more there and maybe I should think about it.  So no I am not just shopping for pills like Forever 21. I'm sorry but you definitely got that wrong.  
 
Next point, I know that I did well and I am lucky and grateful for the opportunities I have but at the same time don't you think that it is a problem that I can't connect that happiness that I should be feeling for all these "awesome" stuff? Maybe that is your answer, obviously something is not right. I'm sure most people on here would be forever content and happy with what I accomplished and I'm not.  Not even saying I'm not but my academic success and my personal life failure doesn't balance out.  Maybe you should be a little less quick to play head doctor? I have sympathy for people and I'm sorry that they may not have gotten into a program but in the least they have a relationship (some).  Like I said it isn't logical and I can't explain it so I won't try but relationships mean a lot to me, having one means a lot to me.  Not saying I would trade situations but still.  
 
I can totally admit I am obsessive, and neurotic, immature, maybe even a little bit ignorant.  I do care about looks, a lot actually I am a decently attractive person I want someone else who is and that isn't wrong of me.  You obviously missed the part of the thread where I even said my ranking system kind of contradicts everything.  It does and it makes no sense and it is probably just me being a jealous bitch.  I don't have a bad personality, you don't even know me. You know what you saw on a forum from someone going through a rough time (despite how you discount it).  You know nothing about me.