Fiz

I cant believe this thread was even made. My only thoughts are, "really? Really?"

Thread. Over.

*raises hand*

Pics?

History of Consciousness!

I hear you on that. I've been offered unfunded MA spots, and it does essentially feel like a rejection. Wud u consider applying next year, rather than take on all that debt?

Damn, I couldn't imagine departments and students being like that with one another. Sounds like some immature real world/road rules bullshit.

ur screen name is badasss

Am i the only one who has no idea what lush is?

Im from California. What the heck is the state university of california? I never heard of it? Or do you mean the cal state system. There are a ton of campuses, San Diego, San Francisco, and Long Beach being the most prestigious when it comes to English, if prestigious can even be said of a state school. I got into Long Beach but chose not to attend. Funding is pitiful at the state MA level and not worth it. Btw, since ur a foreigner and IF finances are an issue, stay the hell away from the California education system right now. Youre gonna eat it. Im glad I got out of that mess. Loyola is privatized and a Catholic college, if that is your belief, but the area is beautiful. I used to live there. Youre so close to the water!!

ARGHHH! This is why I dont wanna leaveeeee

Smells like it. Got me buggin out man

What the hell!!! Wait lol!!

Just so you know, if you raise hell, they might give u funding. I did and they gave me 400 bucks but i said no anyway cuz a flight from cali to urbana is 550-600 and im already going to that fully funded event so i was like nahhh. Ask her!

That's gonna be one bad ass road trip, though. Take the scenic route!!!

U and me both, I tell you what! U applied to Urbana?? Did you hear back from them?? I hope you get in!! Im a yell at them to accept you lol! What is the Midwest like?? I've never left Socal...

I live here. This is true. And the commute isnt even that bad. I will say, though, commuting from Corona to Riverside will prove particularly troublesome during certain hours. Traffic on the 91 will easily turn a 20 min drive into an hour long one, maybe more. Rancho is nicer, imo, anyway.

I've thought about this, but I have already taken a year off before. And I ABSOLUTELY will not be one of those people who applies and applies and applies year after year. I told myself I'd give myself one shot, once chance. If i get in, I get it. If it dont, then I tip my hat, move on, try something else, and be content with the fact that grad school is not for me. Like I said earlier, I'd much rather stay home and work in a grocery store then attend a program here in California that I dislike lol. Eh, it works for me. The problem is that I got into the one school that is the absolute best fit for me, by far, and that school is 2,000 miles away. So it is a a big decision to make. Idk if you have seen that movie Troy, with Brad Pitt, but I keep thinking about a certain scene in that film. Odysseus comes to inform Achilles of Agamemnon's decision to attack Troy, and attempts to recruit him. Achilles takes this information to his mother and asks her advice. She states that if he were to stay home, he would grow old, find a nice wife, have children, and have a long and fruitful life. But when his children and their children died, no one would ever remember him. If he went to Troy, he would achieve things that would never be possible if he stayed home, and everyone would remember his name forever. But she would never see him again; he would never come home. I'm not saying I'm the Achilles of academia, but I draw parallels between this decision and that scene...

Wow. First off, I just want to profusely thank each and everyone of you. Thank you for your anecdotes, your advice, and everything you had to say. To be honest, I haven't really thought much of many people on this forum, and a lot of times I found myself shaking my head in disbelief and thinking, "If these are the kind of people that are in graduate school, I'm not so sure I want to be there with them." But hearing from all of you is so gratifying and inspiring, and it infuses within me hope that not everyone in academia is a stuck up douche bag. Up votes for all you motherfuckers if I could do it! Nowmoreserious, I want to apologize. I didn't even notice the question you asked me! I do everything here on my phone, and I am always taken to the most recent reply, which is when I saw Caliban's and started cracking up. I got into multiple places, so far, one of which is in Norther California. (I'm from SoCal.) But to be quite honest, if I am going to do this, I want to do it right. Yes, NorCal is nothing like having to relocate all the way to Urbana, but I find myself realizing that I don't even much like any of the programs here at home. Of all the Cali schools I could compete for, I really only could see myself at USC or UCSB, and USC rejected me, and I'm pretty sure UCSB did as well. I applied to UCSD cause it is only a few hours away, but I don't even like that school at all, not in the least bit. The ONLY reason I applied was....well, it is close to home. And I feel that if I just went somewhere becuz it was close and I hated the program, I'd just end up flunking out. I might as well not even go. There is no doubt in my mind, academically--even culturally--I would have the most chemistry and greatest chance to succeed with the dept. in Urbana-Champaign. They have gone out of their way to help me and get me in. The professor I'd want to work with hails from Santa Ana, 30 mins away from where I live, is a first generationer, I believe, and is so sympathetic towards me in regards to the hurdles I have faced to get to this point. I need someone to guide me, not just academically, but on how to adjust to academia after having been raised in its antithesis. And him having been in the same position I am now, well, there is no better place for me to go...and this is evident by the offer they have given me. No other school even comes close. If by God's grace I somehow got lucky and UCSB let me in, I could go. I'm okay about the program, but I wouldnt feel the same way about it as I do with Urbana, not even close. But it's home I guess, and I can tolerate it. I can't say that about Norcal. I see your attending UCLA! Gosh, if I was only smart enough for that school I wouldn't have these problems lol! I'll get in touch with you; I'm interested in hearing more about your journey and your decision to attend. Best of luck to you! In terms of the whole tenure track thing and this ongoing debate about "warning" people, like others have said, who is to say people even want tenure track? I work in a freaking grocery store, and you know what, I love it man. I think it is fun as hell. Sure I dont make much, but I have never had anything before anyway, so I dont really see value in material wealth. I get to talk to people all day, and yea I deal with people who look down on me becuz apparently I "failed" and ended up working at this place. (Lol, if they only knew.) But no, I do it cuz I genuinely enjoy it. Call me crazy, if you will, but everyone has different values. Like those who have touched on this before, I want the phd for myself, not anyone else. And not in the hopes of getting a tenure track position. Im not sure if I even WANT that. Id happily finish the phd and go back to the grocery store. Im sure Id enjoy that more than working 65 hours a week, under a publish or perish burden. If I dont ever get tenure track...who cares? And this debate about academia "changing" one's perspective, idk, that is another question to be argued. I just seriously doubt that 6 years can reconfigure 25 year old values and mindsets and beliefs. Idk, it might be true for some, but I just dont see it happening to moi. Graditude, into the light I go, carnal...maybe...I might get scared and run away lol. I hope everyone here facing the same stresses and worries does well, whether they go or they dont. Best wishes to all of you.

Well you just shit all over my post and made me look like a giant sissy lol. I coudnt even imagine having to do what you are. I just wish we could all bypass the geography and have a beer or...tea fest I guess! Are you from Europe? You guys have tea over there??

Thanks, Graditude. Glad to know Im not the only one who felt/is feeling this. I almost didnt post for fear I would be royally chewed out about how I shouldnt be going to grad school. Im glad I did though. Im already feeling better by all your guys' replies. Buena suerte!

Id probably would regret it, but at least Id have my home and my life. idk..i just hope i can look back on my move the way you look back on yours if i decide to go--minus the terrible panic attacks and broken cars of course. Im glad you've made it into a phd program, though. It is promising to hear things like that.

Ha! This brought a smile to my face, particularly cuz my memories are so alike. No one ever thought we'd get here. Hell, I barely even graduated high school--graduated with a 1.6 gpa. I spent four years in community college and almost dropped out. And now, Im here?? Pff. Idk about you, but the other matter is that I always feel as if I have to "prove" myself. All these pretentious douche bags walk around talking about how they went to such and such place and have done such and such and had a such and such gpa. They're people who have been groomed and bred to do this since a very young age--2nd and 3rd generation college students. Im a freaking 1st generation HIGH SCHOOL graduate, and BARELY! To sit at the graduate table, I feel as if I have to prove that I belong with them, that Im not trespassing. And it's not just academically; I'm not even of that culture. I'm ghetto as hell; my dialect is off compared to them. And that's part of the challenge of jumping into graduate school as well. When I was pipe dreaming it didnt matter. I didnt care. I was ready to have to constantly prove that I belonged and just didnt get in becuz Im Chicano. But now I mean.....what for? Ayyyy the decisions. I swear dude Im dragging this shit out till April 15th. Anyways, I hope you do well and succeed in where you decide to go. Im pulling for you, buddy.

Let's be honest...idk if it is just me or I am having a break down or what, but does anyone ever get cold feet or have second thoughts about going into graduate school, especially when you would have to relocate and give up...everything. Idk...I'm breaking down man. I read an article discussing reasons TO go to grad school and reasons NOT to go. One of those reasons centered on location, stating that relocating should be a CONSEQUENCE of graduate school, not a reason to attend. And I'm definitely feeling this consequence now. I got into a good program with a really great offer, and I have a passion and thirst and hunger for this subject and topic. I want to keep learning and maximize every ounce of potential I have. I want to write....and I want to do this for me. I'm not going to grad school in an attempt to stick some elitist badge on myself, to make money, to advance myself, or any of that. If I never secured a tt job and worked at Mcdonalds for the rest of my life, I wouldnt consider myself a failure. I had one life to live, and I lived the experience of graduate school, of learning, of immersing myself in subjects I wanted to learn so much about. I'd be content. But I would have to give up so much to do it. I'd have to leave home, say goodbye to everything, to my significant other--the best person I have ever known. Idk if it is worth it. I recall sitting in a cafe, drinking coffee with my 70 year old professor and discussing this very same subject with him. The one thing he told me was that he made a lot of mistakes in his long life, and a lot of those mistakes have been choosing business over personal pleasures. I can't help but think I'm going to make the same mistake. If I were to never attend and just stay home and work, I could be happy. I'd have Sportscenter, a cheeseburger, a dog, a book, and my home, and I'd be content. Sure, I'd never get the experience I'm striving for, but I could be happy. I keep equating it to walking down the aisle. I've dreamed of this day, but now that it is finally here, it is like, "Holy shit. Am I really about to do this?" Im scared right now and stressing like crazy. If only I didn't have to leave home and say goodbye to so much. Idk...does anyone else feel like this? Is it just me??

Are u patronizing me!!!?!!