Sigaba

Yes, although "humbled" might be a more appropriate word than "humiliated" if one approaches qualifying exams with an appropriate mindset. (Even then, you're going to feel hammered before, during, and long after.) What ever you do, think twice before you look to the professors in your department for any kind of moral support while you're taking your exams. Also, see if you can schedule your exams to take place in as short a time span as you can bear. A classmate of mine took his three written exams on consecutive days and had his oral exam about ten days later (the first date he could get his committee together). I spaced mine out a bit more and the compressed time table really helped my frame of mind. Don't get me wrong. I really really really really really freaked out between exams--and not just a little . However, knowing that I had only a couple of days to pull it together for the next exam limited the amount of freaking out that I could do. (To be clear, every time I washed my hands between my exams, they needed washing. )

M-- If you can stand to do it, try to contact all the departments to which you applied and ask for a thorough debriefing on why you were not admitted this time around, what were the strong points of your applications, and what you can do to improve your standing for the next time around. You might also profit from digging into the GradCafe's archives using the full search feature. There have been a number of members who have been through the process two or three times. Their posts may provide useful information as well as the inspiration to persevere. Even if you decide not to reapply, you might still get some information that can help you in other endeavors.

retaliatory strike

One day I was walking along in Austin, across the street from campus. As usual, the heat was kicking my tail. Lo! I spied two guys walking towards me wearing jeans. What the heck, I thought. "Aren't you hot?" I asked. One guy looked at me, grinned, and said "We're from Florida." And that's a true story.

As you are assessing the role age differences might play in your relationships with your fellow students, keep an eye as to how your age difference your interaction with your professors as well. IME, there can be a lot of "wax on/ wax off" in graduate school. (This reference is for you, anthroDork. ) I've observed older students hit pause and ask "Why the firetruck am I doing this?" while younger students jump through the hoops without hesitation. As some professors may be more used to the deference of younger students, they might be taken aback when they get asked a perfectly legitimate question. (And others will cultivate--unintentionally and otherwise--the infantilizing dynamic of graduate school.) Meanwhile, when you're dealing with younger graduate students, you might save yourself some peace of mind if you remember that sometimes people have to learn things for themselves. So even if there's an opportunity to be the older sibling/den leader of your cohort, maybe think twice before putting on that hat.

@aeplo-- Then you'd better start drinking water now, cause Austin has two seasons: summer and January.

@indianacat -- Has anyone on your exam committee told you to spend time decompressing and/or shared "sea stories" about their experiences during and after their qualifying exams?

@thedig13-- Do what you can to frame your thesis within the historiographical debates over the Black Panthers. Present your thesis as a modest contribution/exploration that supports one or more positions within that debate. If, in the course of your research, you come to agree with scholars A, B, C, D but disagree ever so slightly with scholars E, then you've got a sustainable piece. (Because not everyone is going to agree with everyone else--there are going to be different hierarchies of causality.) Admissions committees will want to see a writing sample that demonstrates your ability to do historical research using primary sources and secondary works, to think critically, and to articulate a thoughtful argument in a well-written essay. The expectation of creating new knowledge will come later. That is, when you're a graduate student and you're preparing a master's thesis (or report) and, later, a dissertation. Insofar as you getting your thesis published, keep in mind that during the 2011-2012 application season, there was at least one applicant who had a publication and that fact alone did not get that person into his/her preferred programs. This is not to say that you getting your thesis published would be "pointless," but rather that you should manage your expectations. HTH.

Are you planning on posting this link in every thread that has anything to do with USC?

Maybe it is the chip on your shoulder.

Pessimist1234-- As hard as the waiting and not knowing can be, take a step back and do what you can to relax. You've covered most of the lines of communication, now it is time to wait and to be patient. For all you know, she may be busy moving things around so she can accommodate one of your choices and isn't going to reply to your first email until she has the date nailed down. How far away is the last date on your list? How much effort will it take for you to meet up with her? Use the answers to these two questions to figure out a reasonable go/no go deadline and don't contact her again until a day or two before it.

As I spent some time at the Forty Acres, I'm obliged to stray out of my lane long enough to point out that Texas is in the southwest, not the south. Here's the short version of one of my favorite experiences while there. A gubernatorial candidate came to campus to campaign for votes. The person was subjected to heckling from some of the assembled undergraduates. After a bit, the candidate grew weary. The person looked around and drawled, I would remind you that no matter what our differences, we're all still Texans. From one moment to the next, civility returned.

@comm1980-- Given the information you've posted about yourself on this BB, I'm curious as to why you've made the decision to participate in this particular conversation in such a manner.

sheneron-- I think we're reading the OP differently. From my perspective, the issue isn't just that she's being down voted but her perception that she's being stalked and does not feel safe on this BB.

And how do either of you know what these experiences are like? I think that some of the members of this BB who are dog piling on the OP are using the anonymity of the internet to practice habits that are going to lead to profoundly unhappy moments in graduate school. Here's the deal. Everyone (including tenured prize winning professors) has buttons they'd rather not have pushed. Almost everyone (including tenured prize winning professors) are going to get those buttons pushed. Most of the time, the buttons are pushed accidentally. Sometimes, the buttons are pushed to see what you're made of. Rarely, the buttons are pushed because someone wants to make you look bad. How are you going to respond when you don't have +1/-1 buttons in front of you? Are you going to make a public statement about pulling back? Are you going to get snarky with someone face to face? Or are you going to laugh into your sleeve? How will you want to be treated when you're the one whose buttons are getting pushed? Will you want sympathy, empathy, or callous snark?

The issue of specialization will be one many of you will hear professors kick around in seminar--mostly in passing. I urge many of you to give some thought to uhohlemonster's argument. That is, are the broader interests of history best served by the degree of specialization the practice of professional academic history currently sees?

To re-emphasize a couple of points in the OP.

jelly donut!

ALCON-- When recommending a translated work, please indicate which translation/edition you're recommending.

wolf smile

earth orbit

Before you make a choice, I recommend that you take steps to 'test' your interpretation of your potential POI at School A. See if you can talk to some of that professor's ABDs "off the record." If the experiences of four or five of these ABDs mirrors yours, I would recommend leaning towards School B. However, if the ABDs are all over the place, give some thought that this professor is 'quirky' and it may take a while to figure him/her out. Then, you'll have to decide if such a dynamic is worth the effort.

Plan Dog

@Ticklemepink With respect, it depends. I took the report track with the blessings of my department and the professor who supervised the work. The finished piece ended up being rather long for a report (21704 words of principal text and another 4,600 words in the footnotes), intensely researched, at the leading edge of the relevant historiographical debate, and, at times, well-written (according to my advisor). And, when I "transferred" to another program, I subsequently learned that a much shorter writing sample may have played a larger role in my admittance than my report. @Chiqui74 If you think you'll be better prepared for a doctoral program by writing a thesis, then the experience may prove beneficial. Please do understand that if you pursue your doctorate at another program, you may still be asked to jump through another series of hoops and, potentially, the opportunity to accept or to turn down a second master's degree in history. Also, you might end up with a dissertation advisor who strongly suggests that your dissertation should cover an entirely different topic altogether. If this happens...look me up. (But I'm not bitter.)