Sigaba

You should talk to your adviser now. You should also talk to the professor that is teaching the course. Since you are doing well in all your other subjects, they will likely want to do everything possible to help you pass so that you don't get kicked out. Hiding it until you fail is not going to help.

Squirrel,

Let me tell you, first, THANK YOU. I've been dealing with a VERY similar situation for a while now, and everyone I've talked to about it says this kind of stuff shouldn't be happening in grad school. And yes, it is ridiculous and unnecessarily stressful.

First off, I'm the youngest person in our grad program. I went to an average state university for my undergrad, but I double majored in English and Philosophy (great with Lit and great with theory). The problem person for me is an older woman (early thirties) who I was friends with, who very similarly, began accusing me of making her look dumb in front of our professors. She went to a large, very prestigious state university but she majored in History. She made all Cs first semester and had to rewrite all her papers. Now, she makes Bs on all her work because the professors don't want to give her Cs because she claims she doesn't have time to juggle her family and rewriting papers plus the regular work assigned. She claims that the professors don't like her, and that's why she gets B's. Her comments in class are usually along the lines of, "I had a experience once when..." or "Well I know in my family we..." instead of being RELEVANT to the text or theory we are talking about in class.

Besides the fact she is less than stellar, she got a major attitude when I went to my first conference last spring. She didn't even submit a proposal, and she was acting like it was someone else's fault she wasn't going. I had a presentation in one of our classes the week after the conference, and she began to attack my work by saying it didn't make sense, that my thesis was wrong, and she even began shouting over the professor while the professor was trying to provide me actual constructive criticism. Then, she pulled out something claiming one of the journals I pulled one of my articles from for the presentation wasn't peer reviewed, and DEMANDED to know my grade deduction. The professor was like, "Um no it's peer reviewed." Sure enough, it wasn't, but the professor was like who cares.

That student now sits by the professor and when I had a paper to cover earlier this semester, she started mumbling under her breath to where anyone could barely hear it that I was TAKING her ideas, in a paper I wrote at home, I was taking the idea she wrote in her paper. She whined that I was talking about all the things she was talking about, and the professor finally told her "this isn't a competition" while I just sat there and was like "really? is this really still happening?"

I had a paper reviewed in class last night, and she said NOTHING constructive criticism wise in class. She did not participate. She sat there looking at her papers and that's it. She made a comment about Halloween and about some Italian movie that had nothing to do with my paper. She's also using the professors article for class discussion in two weeks, because there is nothing under the sun supposedly written on the subject besides our professors article.

And, back when I was preparing for the conference in spring, she sent me nasty text messages on my cellphone. I finally, at the end of the summer, told a different professor (our grad advisor) about this situation, and how it was flat out ridiculous. I told her that I knew if I handed my phone over, she would be kicked out of the school. My advisor just sat there wide eyed, and said she knew something was going on, but didn't know it was like that. I told her this was stupid and childish, and she agreed.

So, In short, yes, I have a jealous, competitive student who takes everything personally. She's insane and pretends to be hurt by the professors criticism, but then fires back with, "Well I went to big university and we did it like this" even though she didn't even major in English. She tries to manipulate everyone into feeling sorry for her, but she's a complete fake. The grad advisor already knew this, so me telling her the craziness wasn't a surprise. We used to be cool, but since I started to surpass her in grades, conferences, and now in applying for doctorate programs, she's a sore loser.

I try to ignore it, I also have to try really hard not to go out of my way to make her look dumb, b/c this problem has built up so much that take pleasure in watching her realize she ISN'T THAT SMART nor is she a HARD WORKER. But that is not the person I want to be, I want to be a nice and kind person, but she makes it very hard. I have to tell myself that I should pity her for not realizing she could work harder to write better papers, or read more to understand. Instead she blames everything on the text being complicated or the theory is too hard. I just have to remind myself that sometimes some people are better at certain things than others, and I'm sure she has some skill or talent outside of this program. But grad school is definitely not what she's suited for, mentally or emotionally. It is very hard to be the better person and remain academically professional.

I have that problem too; we will do working drafts and read them in class and get feedback, and other students say my ideas are complex and the professors provides positive feed back and gives the gold star. someone else will turn in a craptacular draft that is obviously not graduate level work, but b/c it's good work for THAT student, I get a B and they get an A. Talk about wanting to slit some tires. Final papers don't get feed back from our profs, which is total BS, b/c none of us ever know why we earned the grade we did. In a way grading each student is fair, but for the good students who are graded harshly, it is counter intuitive. Our program is full of students who think doing the work earns them an A, because for the most part, our professors have no back bone and don't want to hurt/offend them. The few really great students made Bs and keep it a secret b/c we are being treated unfairly and know it, but can't do anything about it. I don't tell anyone my grade, they assume I made As b/c of how good my work is that we are forced to share. But my profs grade me harder than anyone else, so they always mange to give Bs. Sounds like all of your graduate peers are being graded fairly though, but I still wouldn't give out my grades.

All kidding aside, I was thinking about the how that conversation relates to Saint Louis University's Policy on Academic Honesty, and what Brian Cameron, who teaches part time in SLU's Department of Philosophy might think of the OP.

The bottom line -- before the long post that follows below -- is that I think you could have a decent chance of being accepted to a good program, but it depends a lot on how strong a case you can make for yourself in your application.

I think the main concern that adcoms will have with your application is how to determine (i) whether or not you will be able to finish a graduate program successfully and in a timely fashion, and (relatedly) (ii) how certain they can be that you are committed and that you know what you're getting yourself into. The best way for you to demonstrate that you are a serious candidate is to show that you can formulate interesting questions about some subfield of linguistics, or at least that you understand the kinds of questions that are currently being discussed in the field.

Since there aren't that many formal linguistics programs out there, ling departments regularly accept students who have less training in at least some of the core areas of linguistics (phonology, syntax, semantics--usually it turns out to be semantics), and occasionally they accept students with no formal background at all. Your math/logic background as well as your efforts to teach yourself materials that your school isn't offering will be strong assets in your application. In particular, if you are interested in formal semantics then your math/logic training will make you a potentially strong candidate (and if that's the case, I can recommend some introductory textbooks that you should be familiar with). The main selling point in your application will have to be your SOP - you'll need write a thoughtful essay that explains in detail the kinds of questions and problems that you find exciting, and why. You should discuss any relevant material you have taught yourself, and you should discuss your thesis in detail.

The next thing to discuss is LORs: that's another potential problem you could face - you may not have anyone with a relevant background who could testify to your potential to succeed in a ling program. At the very least, you should make sure that your Honors thesis advisor is aware of all your efforts to self-teach. In addition, if there is any ling professor at a university nearby I think you would benefit a lot from meeting with them - both for feedback and for a potential letter. If that's not possible, strong letters from other professors should still make it possible for you to be accepted to a good program.


BTW: if this trip to the Humboldt university hasn't happened yet, PM me and I can suggest some ling professors in the Berlin area that you should get in touch with while you're there. Similarly, if you are going to Moscow, Moscow State University has a good ling program. Take advantage of semesters abroad to explore the ling departments and ling professors in those places. Sometimes ling professors are not sitting in ling departments (they can be in English depts or in independent research institutes, for example), but there could be options out there that you should be actively seeking.

All kidding aside, I was thinking about the how that conversation relates to Saint Louis University's Policy on Academic Honesty, and what Brian Cameron, who teaches part time in SLU's Department of Philosophy might think of the OP.

Someone has a political theory paper due, I suspect...

I was think about the Marx's quip that he 'had turned Hegel on his head' by opposing the latter's Idealism to his own rigorous materialism. What problems did Marx identify within the Hegelian methodology and how well did his own historical materialism resolve those problems?

Safferz--

Here's a suggestion for you to take or leave, in whole or in part, as you see fit.

Print out the document. Read through it one time each for each of the following:
Smoothing out sentence structure. For example, prepositional phrases.
Simplifying verbal constructions. For example, get rid of the passive voice.)
Removing tangential arguments that, while interesting, do not advance your paper's central arguments. (You can put these comments in the end notes.) A way to help yourself do this is to write an "executive summary." Limit the summary to a number of bullet points (between five and nine). Anything that does not fall under one of those points gets the axe.
Condensing transitional paragraphs.
Sharpening the lead sentences in the more important paragraphs.

In a perfect world, you would print out a draft, make a run for one type of correction, make the correction, and then print out the draft again, and then make the next run. However, this approach can be costly and time consuming. So you may need to do two or three runs with one print out--maybe using different colored pens for each pass. However, I do not recommend using one print out to make all of these changes because you could end up with a sentence fragment or some other glaring mistake that you'd otherwise not miss.

If you've made all of these changes and you're still over the page limit, identify a "weakness" in your writing and make another run. (For example, I sometimes use too many prepositional phrases and those eat up space.)

When you've got it under twenty five pages and you're about ready to button up the essay, make two more passes. This time, read the essay backwards. The penultimate pass could be sentence by sentence or paragraph by paragraph. The last pass should be word by word.

I want to emphasize the importance of making these passes using a physical copy of the essay rather than reading it on your computer screen. For what ever reason or reasons, one starts to miss things on a computer screen that one might otherwise catch on a piece of paper.

HTH.

Also, to all concerned. I understand that many of you are stressed out and besides yourself with anxiety. Please do not let your concerns keep you from enjoying something this weekend or next. If you're a fan of football, watch some of this Sunday night's NFL game and/or next weekend's "game of the century." If you like kids, be sure to walk around in a neighborhood to watch families going trick or treating. If there's a big "adults only" Halloween parade/festival in your city, consider going (but maybe not all night and definitely play safely).

If none of the above activities work for you, find someway to take a step back from the process--if only for a moment--and to relax, to breathe, and to enjoy the moment. Take pride in how hard you've worked. Reflect on what you've learned, not only about history, but also yourselves. Understand that in this process you're developing skills that you can use for the rest of your lives.

And eat some candy.

The Squirrel--

The definition of "harassment" might very well include the behaviors your classmate is exhibiting. That is, it is harassment if one feels harassed. (Or, as I overheard one city employee tell another outside of about a training session earlier today "You can't say anything to anyone.") Given that you feel you have a problem with this guy, that he's destroyed your property, and he's brought violence into your work place, I strongly urge you to not ignore the situation. If you don't feel comfortable trying to talk it out in a public place over hot wings, and if you don't want to go to the DGS, consider taking a "lateral step" and talking to someone in the university's administration. Do not delay.

I also recommend that you avoid characterizations of such behavior as "childish" and "immature." Eventually, every graduate student gets to take a long hard look in the mirror. For your erstwhile friend, that time is now. For you, it may be as qualifying exams approach. Or when you get unfavorable teaching evaluations from undergraduates. By no means am I suggesting that you give the guy a "pass" or to let bygones be bygones.

I'm merely recommending that one approach these kinds of situations with empathy and without name calling. This way, if your apple cart gets up ended, and/or you need to be "talked off the ledge," you'll have set a precedent for how others should treat you in a time of crisis.

HTH.

OK, really? I hate to say this, but your mental health NEEDS to take priority over your boyfriend. Period. I don't care how good you think your relationship is: if he's not willing to let you do /supportive of your doing what you *almost certainly* need to do, you need to tell him to take a flying leap.

A bit of background: I discovered that I suffered from severe depression about 3 months into my marriage. My husband told that it was "no big deal" since "everyone gets a little blue now and then" (seriously? I was suicidal at some points) and that therapy was no good since "all they will do is talk"--and he had a severe dislike of medication, too.

I spent 15 years listening to him say (and accepting) that I shouldn't get treatment. Finally I convinced him that I should get treatment, but he would only let me do it if I were willing to pay for it out of my own money. (This was at a time when the total amount of money he let me spend on myself would have paid for 2 or 3 visits. Tops.) I put up with this for another 5 years.

I spent 20 years of my life being depressed, anxious, and occasionally suicidal, because I didn't want to upset my husband. The depression affected every aspect of our marriage--but so did the intense control he exerted over every facet of my life (including mental health treatment). We are not married any more, I've been in therapy for almost a year, and I'm SO much better off than I used to be. And HAPPY.

I say: get on medication. You've given other treatments a fair try, and you need to do this for your own good. If your boyfriend doesn't like it, tough. Now, he may change his mind if he sees a big improvement in you--in which case, great! Things will work out just fine. But if he isn't supportive of your getting the help you need, you really are better off without him.

I personally prefer to use the more professional approach with someone I haven't met, even if indications are that they're fairly relaxed about such things.

It's a LOT better to get a reference from a professor who has completed grad school, as opposed to a student who is still going through. You must have other professors that know you well.

^ I wish. I am very much left to fend for myself. I don't know what to ask or who to ask but I know I don't know much and I need a lot of help. An orientation of some sort would have been nice. I know I need to ask people for help but it's difficult when you don't really know who to ask.

You're correct in regard to it not being City property, but that doesn't mean people can camp out in it or that laws don't apply. It's not as if OWS bought or rented the property. Brookfield Properites doesn't want these people there either but got their hands tied by politicians and other movers and shakers. Brookfield has posted rules for the park as is its right to do and this includes no camping equipment, sleeping bags, sleeping overnight, etc. FDNY finally removed the illegal generators and gas cans yesterday. The only reason the squatters themselves haven't been removed is because they have become darlings of the mainstream media and the mayor doesn't have the courage to order what would unfortunately likely become a violent eviction.

(this part after Edit)

Also, although it is not Public (as in owned by the City) the park is public in that Brookfield (and any other future owner of Liberty Plaza across the street) has to ensure that the park is open to the public (small "p"). This includes anyone who wants to go in there to among other things enjoy lunch, sit on a bench, etc. As it is now the place is crammed with people's private property and is being used as a de facto headquarters for a private movement. I (and others) argue that this is impeding the public's ability to use the park for its intended uses.

What about all the undergrad "meet the page limit" tricks? 1.9 spacing, 1" side margins (it's the default in OpenOffice, so you even have an excuse on that one...)? Just make sure your SOP matches the format.

Cheap, yes. Cheating, perhaps. ...It worked for me.

Although, what *really* worked for me (25 pp + biblio => 15 pp including bibliography) was to have someone else go through it and be merciless. Often times other people are better at picked out what *can* be cut and what absolutely, absolutely must not.

Safferz--

Here's a suggestion for you to take or leave, in whole or in part, as you see fit.

Print out the document. Read through it one time each for each of the following:
Smoothing out sentence structure. For example, prepositional phrases.
Simplifying verbal constructions. For example, get rid of the passive voice.)
Removing tangential arguments that, while interesting, do not advance your paper's central arguments. (You can put these comments in the end notes.) A way to help yourself do this is to write an "executive summary." Limit the summary to a number of bullet points (between five and nine). Anything that does not fall under one of those points gets the axe.
Condensing transitional paragraphs.
Sharpening the lead sentences in the more important paragraphs.

In a perfect world, you would print out a draft, make a run for one type of correction, make the correction, and then print out the draft again, and then make the next run. However, this approach can be costly and time consuming. So you may need to do two or three runs with one print out--maybe using different colored pens for each pass. However, I do not recommend using one print out to make all of these changes because you could end up with a sentence fragment or some other glaring mistake that you'd otherwise not miss.

If you've made all of these changes and you're still over the page limit, identify a "weakness" in your writing and make another run. (For example, I sometimes use too many prepositional phrases and those eat up space.)

When you've got it under twenty five pages and you're about ready to button up the essay, make two more passes. This time, read the essay backwards. The penultimate pass could be sentence by sentence or paragraph by paragraph. The last pass should be word by word.

I want to emphasize the importance of making these passes using a physical copy of the essay rather than reading it on your computer screen. For what ever reason or reasons, one starts to miss things on a computer screen that one might otherwise catch on a piece of paper.

HTH.

Also, to all concerned. I understand that many of you are stressed out and besides yourself with anxiety. Please do not let your concerns keep you from enjoying something this weekend or next. If you're a fan of football, watch some of this Sunday night's NFL game and/or next weekend's "game of the century." If you like kids, be sure to walk around in a neighborhood to watch families going trick or treating. If there's a big "adults only" Halloween parade/festival in your city, consider going (but maybe not all night and definitely play safely).

If none of the above activities work for you, find someway to take a step back from the process--if only for a moment--and to relax, to breathe, and to enjoy the moment. Take pride in how hard you've worked. Reflect on what you've learned, not only about history, but also yourselves. Understand that in this process you're developing skills that you can use for the rest of your lives.

And eat some candy.

Safferz--

Here's a suggestion for you to take or leave, in whole or in part, as you see fit.

Print out the document. Read through it one time each for each of the following:
Smoothing out sentence structure. For example, prepositional phrases.
Simplifying verbal constructions. For example, get rid of the passive voice.)
Removing tangential arguments that, while interesting, do not advance your paper's central arguments. (You can put these comments in the end notes.) A way to help yourself do this is to write an "executive summary." Limit the summary to a number of bullet points (between five and nine). Anything that does not fall under one of those points gets the axe.
Condensing transitional paragraphs.
Sharpening the lead sentences in the more important paragraphs.

In a perfect world, you would print out a draft, make a run for one type of correction, make the correction, and then print out the draft again, and then make the next run. However, this approach can be costly and time consuming. So you may need to do two or three runs with one print out--maybe using different colored pens for each pass. However, I do not recommend using one print out to make all of these changes because you could end up with a sentence fragment or some other glaring mistake that you'd otherwise not miss.

If you've made all of these changes and you're still over the page limit, identify a "weakness" in your writing and make another run. (For example, I sometimes use too many prepositional phrases and those eat up space.)

When you've got it under twenty five pages and you're about ready to button up the essay, make two more passes. This time, read the essay backwards. The penultimate pass could be sentence by sentence or paragraph by paragraph. The last pass should be word by word.

I want to emphasize the importance of making these passes using a physical copy of the essay rather than reading it on your computer screen. For what ever reason or reasons, one starts to miss things on a computer screen that one might otherwise catch on a piece of paper.

HTH.

Also, to all concerned. I understand that many of you are stressed out and besides yourself with anxiety. Please do not let your concerns keep you from enjoying something this weekend or next. If you're a fan of football, watch some of this Sunday night's NFL game and/or next weekend's "game of the century." If you like kids, be sure to walk around in a neighborhood to watch families going trick or treating. If there's a big "adults only" Halloween parade/festival in your city, consider going (but maybe not all night and definitely play safely).

If none of the above activities work for you, find someway to take a step back from the process--if only for a moment--and to relax, to breathe, and to enjoy the moment. Take pride in how hard you've worked. Reflect on what you've learned, not only about history, but also yourselves. Understand that in this process you're developing skills that you can use for the rest of your lives.

And eat some candy.

Tonyum--

Hang in there. You can do it!

Remember that your department believes in you, your ability to work hard, and your potential--otherwise they'd not have offered you admission. Your department believes in you. Trust their wisdom. It wasn't by accident that they said "Come, be one of us."

Right now, the learning curve looks steep because you're building upon your previous experiences to build new skill sets. As formidable as the new terrain may seem, you have it within you to figure out ways to navigate it successfully.

Let go of fear. Your legs are shaky now. Yet visualize yourself on that day in the not so distant future when you'll be running, looking over your shoulder, and laughing "Hey, slowpokes, keep up!" You can do it.

Now, in addition to the options outlined above, please consider the utility of the following.

Get to know some of your professors. As they have been there and done that, they know what you're going through. Among them may be a professor or two who can offer words of wisdom, an empathetically appropriate response, and maybe even friendship. (If a friendship does develop, keep the boundaries clear in your own mind. And remember that empathy is different than sympathy.)

Get to know some of the grad students who have been around a while. They may know some tricks of the trade that will benefit you.

Carve out some "me time" in your schedule. As an example, when I was doing my coursework, the interval between the end of my last class of the week and the evening of the following day was mandatory decompression time. Concurrently, I made a commitment to watching most of my favorite team's games--no matter what.

Now and again, these requirements led to some long nights to make a deadline. And maybe I'd have been better off missing a Lakers' game to peck away at a draft. But sometimes you just have to stick it to the man.

If you do designate "me time," consider a counter-programing approach. For instance, if you're going to have a "Friday night" make that night Wednesday. This way, you'll have to deal with less traffic at popular venues.

Carve out some discretionary funds in your budget. I know times are hard and the life of a graduate student can be austere. But designate a certain amount for certain activities and then pursue those activities. As an example, budget fifty bucks a month for music and/or a similar amount for Starbucks. Spend some of your "me time" leisurely spending your money. (Alternatively, you could get some magazine subscriptions at the student rate.)

Then, just before you get ready for another session of hitting the books, put your feet up on a chair, take a sip of your mocha while you listen to your iPod, look around, and take pride that you are on your way to knowing more about chemistry than most people who will ever walk the face of the Earth.

What ktel said.

I find the Tea Party completely nonsensical and find the OWS to be too vague. I'm for the restructuring of certain financial institution to prevent gross misconduct by bankers and corporate execs, but too many people in the OWS right now are advocating for explicit re-distribution of wealth, which I am not for one bit. Capitalism has some blatantly obvious problems, but so does socialism in the way it's governed in modern (and limited) society.

And just because you are passionate about a topic doesn't mean you can't argue with a more neutral voice and using such sweeping generalizations (anti-OWS => pro-Tea Party? really?). I commend people who use their personal beliefs to advance the knowledge and opinion of others, but only when it doesn't sound so accusatory.

Tonyum--

Hang in there. You can do it!

Remember that your department believes in you, your ability to work hard, and your potential--otherwise they'd not have offered you admission. Your department believes in you. Trust their wisdom. It wasn't by accident that they said "Come, be one of us."

Right now, the learning curve looks steep because you're building upon your previous experiences to build new skill sets. As formidable as the new terrain may seem, you have it within you to figure out ways to navigate it successfully.

Let go of fear. Your legs are shaky now. Yet visualize yourself on that day in the not so distant future when you'll be running, looking over your shoulder, and laughing "Hey, slowpokes, keep up!" You can do it.

Now, in addition to the options outlined above, please consider the utility of the following.

Get to know some of your professors. As they have been there and done that, they know what you're going through. Among them may be a professor or two who can offer words of wisdom, an empathetically appropriate response, and maybe even friendship. (If a friendship does develop, keep the boundaries clear in your own mind. And remember that empathy is different than sympathy.)

Get to know some of the grad students who have been around a while. They may know some tricks of the trade that will benefit you.

Carve out some "me time" in your schedule. As an example, when I was doing my coursework, the interval between the end of my last class of the week and the evening of the following day was mandatory decompression time. Concurrently, I made a commitment to watching most of my favorite team's games--no matter what.

Now and again, these requirements led to some long nights to make a deadline. And maybe I'd have been better off missing a Lakers' game to peck away at a draft. But sometimes you just have to stick it to the man.

If you do designate "me time," consider a counter-programing approach. For instance, if you're going to have a "Friday night" make that night Wednesday. This way, you'll have to deal with less traffic at popular venues.

Carve out some discretionary funds in your budget. I know times are hard and the life of a graduate student can be austere. But designate a certain amount for certain activities and then pursue those activities. As an example, budget fifty bucks a month for music and/or a similar amount for Starbucks. Spend some of your "me time" leisurely spending your money. (Alternatively, you could get some magazine subscriptions at the student rate.)

Then, just before you get ready for another session of hitting the books, put your feet up on a chair, take a sip of your mocha while you listen to your iPod, look around, and take pride that you are on your way to knowing more about chemistry than most people who will ever walk the face of the Earth.

Tonyum--

Hang in there. You can do it!

Remember that your department believes in you, your ability to work hard, and your potential--otherwise they'd not have offered you admission. Your department believes in you. Trust their wisdom. It wasn't by accident that they said "Come, be one of us."

Right now, the learning curve looks steep because you're building upon your previous experiences to build new skill sets. As formidable as the new terrain may seem, you have it within you to figure out ways to navigate it successfully.

Let go of fear. Your legs are shaky now. Yet visualize yourself on that day in the not so distant future when you'll be running, looking over your shoulder, and laughing "Hey, slowpokes, keep up!" You can do it.

Now, in addition to the options outlined above, please consider the utility of the following.

Get to know some of your professors. As they have been there and done that, they know what you're going through. Among them may be a professor or two who can offer words of wisdom, an empathetically appropriate response, and maybe even friendship. (If a friendship does develop, keep the boundaries clear in your own mind. And remember that empathy is different than sympathy.)

Get to know some of the grad students who have been around a while. They may know some tricks of the trade that will benefit you.

Carve out some "me time" in your schedule. As an example, when I was doing my coursework, the interval between the end of my last class of the week and the evening of the following day was mandatory decompression time. Concurrently, I made a commitment to watching most of my favorite team's games--no matter what.

Now and again, these requirements led to some long nights to make a deadline. And maybe I'd have been better off missing a Lakers' game to peck away at a draft. But sometimes you just have to stick it to the man.

If you do designate "me time," consider a counter-programing approach. For instance, if you're going to have a "Friday night" make that night Wednesday. This way, you'll have to deal with less traffic at popular venues.

Carve out some discretionary funds in your budget. I know times are hard and the life of a graduate student can be austere. But designate a certain amount for certain activities and then pursue those activities. As an example, budget fifty bucks a month for music and/or a similar amount for Starbucks. Spend some of your "me time" leisurely spending your money. (Alternatively, you could get some magazine subscriptions at the student rate.)

Then, just before you get ready for another session of hitting the books, put your feet up on a chair, take a sip of your mocha while you listen to your iPod, look around, and take pride that you are on your way to knowing more about chemistry than most people who will ever walk the face of the Earth.

Tonyum--

Hang in there. You can do it!

Remember that your department believes in you, your ability to work hard, and your potential--otherwise they'd not have offered you admission. Your department believes in you. Trust their wisdom. It wasn't by accident that they said "Come, be one of us."

Right now, the learning curve looks steep because you're building upon your previous experiences to build new skill sets. As formidable as the new terrain may seem, you have it within you to figure out ways to navigate it successfully.

Let go of fear. Your legs are shaky now. Yet visualize yourself on that day in the not so distant future when you'll be running, looking over your shoulder, and laughing "Hey, slowpokes, keep up!" You can do it.

Now, in addition to the options outlined above, please consider the utility of the following.

Get to know some of your professors. As they have been there and done that, they know what you're going through. Among them may be a professor or two who can offer words of wisdom, an empathetically appropriate response, and maybe even friendship. (If a friendship does develop, keep the boundaries clear in your own mind. And remember that empathy is different than sympathy.)

Get to know some of the grad students who have been around a while. They may know some tricks of the trade that will benefit you.

Carve out some "me time" in your schedule. As an example, when I was doing my coursework, the interval between the end of my last class of the week and the evening of the following day was mandatory decompression time. Concurrently, I made a commitment to watching most of my favorite team's games--no matter what.

Now and again, these requirements led to some long nights to make a deadline. And maybe I'd have been better off missing a Lakers' game to peck away at a draft. But sometimes you just have to stick it to the man.

If you do designate "me time," consider a counter-programing approach. For instance, if you're going to have a "Friday night" make that night Wednesday. This way, you'll have to deal with less traffic at popular venues.

Carve out some discretionary funds in your budget. I know times are hard and the life of a graduate student can be austere. But designate a certain amount for certain activities and then pursue those activities. As an example, budget fifty bucks a month for music and/or a similar amount for Starbucks. Spend some of your "me time" leisurely spending your money. (Alternatively, you could get some magazine subscriptions at the student rate.)

Then, just before you get ready for another session of hitting the books, put your feet up on a chair, take a sip of your mocha while you listen to your iPod, look around, and take pride that you are on your way to knowing more about chemistry than most people who will ever walk the face of the Earth.

I went back 10 years after completing my undergraduate degree. It's hard. You spell things wrong from the fatigue of working a 50 hour week and professors jump on stuff like that as if they could correct the exhaustion out of you. It's par for the course. When you go back as an older student, I think you have to pride yourself on different things, like having a clear direction. Not getting caught up in minutia and petty competitive stuff like that is actually a strength if you're at a point in life that you can let it roll off your back. The real problem is how do you find your unflappable direction? I took non-degree classes at another university before I entered an official M.A. program. It helped quite a bit.

How would one ever know?

Here's my view. Believe what you want and do not compromise those beliefs. Somewhere down the line, you're going to be in at least one incredible brawl. When that time comes, knowing how to disagree without being disagreeable will be a good skill to have.