newms

public employee

I don't know you or your husband's situation, but from reading your frustrations it seems to me that the two of you have difficulty communicating with each other. I would really suggest that you see a couples therapist or at least someone that the two of you trust and respect. Your husband would probably not want to go from what you've described, but I'm also guessing that like you, he also has frustrations about your marriage and perhaps if you framed it as doing what's best for the two of you (as opposed to coming across as if you are blaming him) then he may be responsive. Just a friendly tip though - what everyone thinks about you is the wrong metric to be using if you're deciding if you should be staying in a relationship. If the relationship isn't working for you and there's no chance of it ever doing so, then it's better to move on than to stay in a non-functioning or dysfunctional relationship IMHO.

New Deal

It's good that you are pro-active so early in the application season - you're applying for Fall 2012 right? I would definitely say that you should pursue the dialogue with the profs that replied to you, especially those that seem interested. You can ask about specific research questions, perhaps by following up with their email replies. I wouldn't be as eager to pursue a dialogue with those profs that only gave a cookie cutter response - perhaps they don't have the time at the moment to be looking at prospective students. However, if you did have a specific, relevant question that wasn't covered anywhere on their websites, then it might be worthwhile to ask them. Good luck with your application.

personality disorder

Your husband is currently in school doing a BFA? Would he be able to finish his BFA at a different school were he to move with you? It kinda sounds like you both want to pursue your own education, but obviously with a two body situation and with one person more advanced on their educational career it's not always possible for both persons do pursue their goals simultaneously. The lucky ones get to pursue their education at the same school or at least in the same city. For everyone else, either 1) there has to be a compromise where the couple takes turns focusing on their career at a time - so maybe he finishes his BFA now and then in 3 years you both move to focus on your grad school career; or 2) you do long distance; or 3) you break-up. So if he's not willing to sacrifice or make changes to his educational career right now to move for you, and you're not willing to wait for him to finish; then either you do long distance, or you break up. It's a tough situation, but many couples make it work. I think the key is that it requires both parties to be willing to compromise in order to achieve what's best for both persons. There was a thread on here a couple of months ago where someone was trying to convince their boyfriend to move with them for grad school. I think one of the useful points on that thread was that if you want your SO to move with you, then you should involve them as much as possible in the decision making and planning process, so they don't get the impression that you just want to move away from them. Try to show them how the move could benefit you both as a couple.

early show

Why don't you look at salary comparison websites like indeed.com or salary.com? They can give you a ball park figure for the job and location that you're looking at.

As others have said, it seems that you have a strong profile and that you should have a good chance of getting an admit at most top 20 CS programs. The quality of the publication you're working on as well as how well you fit with the research at the particular school will be particularly important for your chances at top 5 or top 10 schools. Keep in mind though, that top 5 schools are ridiculously competitive, so many applicants with strong profiles (and even some with very strong profiles) get rejected. Good luck!

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Thanks MoJingly! Good luck with closing your house!

Would you be able to get good letters of recommendation from professors who taught you at your undergrad?

Not out of line at all. My situation was kinda similar to yours in that I was out of undergrad for a few years and didn't have much research experience. I think having a statement of purpose that was focused on what I wanted to do in grad school helped a lot, and I know that is what caught the attention of the prof whose group I will likely be working with. What you could do to increase your chances of writing a strong SoP is to read papers in the area that you're interested in. By reading papers you'll help to get a better sense of what you're interested in and of what is current in the field. You'll also be able to write a more focused and detailed SoP if you have good background knowledge of current research. Good luck!

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That sounds like you should be looking at a PhD program then. Perhaps what you can do is to read papers on the topic or topics that you think you'd be interested in researching to get a deeper idea of what's involved, and so you can get a good idea of where your research interests lie. This will also help you to write a good SoP when that time comes. The GRE isn't so important, but you probably should try to increase that 720 for the quantitative. Good luck!

How quickly you'd be able to repay would depend on how much you borrowed as well. You should try to find out if you need to pay tuition after you've finished your coursework. In a lot of science programs you take courses for the first 2 years and then you only work on research for the remainder of the PhD program. In these cases, tuition charges aren't as high after you've finished the coursework part of the program. So if that's the case for this program, then the total amount you'd have to borrow might be less than I said above. You should keep in mind that while it is possible to finish a PhD in 4 years, you'd have to do really well to do so and it's not usually the case that people finish in 4 years. Sometimes it's not even desirable to finish in 4 years, since that extra year of PhD gives you the chance to pad your CV by pushing out more papers to prepare for the job market. Maybe someone with experience with having student loans could give you an idea of how long it would take you to pay them off should you get a good paying job after graduation. Good luck.

I think the first thing you need to ask yourself is what do you want to do as a career? Is research something that you want to do in the future? Or do you want to get into the tech industry as a programmer? I almost feel like I agree with your family - I'm not sure why you would want another MS in CS and quite frankly I think a lot of schools would ask the same question if you were to apply for another MS. If you know what it is you want to do in the future for a career then I think that would be a big help in determining your next step. Also, I don't see why you couldn't apply to schools like VaTech, UVa or UMD for a PhD. Sure they are going to want good research experience, but not every successful applicant has that. What they look for more is research potential. So if you're able to demonstrate through your SoP and your recommendation letters that you have a good idea of what you want to research in grad school, why you want to and that you'd be successful at it, then I think you would have a shot at admission at those places. What's your GPA and GRE scores like?

That's hilarious! At first I was thinking where's the rest of it....

shape shifter

You haven't yet received a formal admit from CMU? From the prof's email, he seems to be saying that he would recommend you for admission if you are able to accept the funding that he is able to offer. Keep in mind that without funding you will have to find at least $50,000 per year (likely more) in tuition and living expenses for years 2-3. And then you'd have to find living expenses in year 4. So you're looking at having to find upwards of $110,000 (possibly significantly more) over the length of the PhD. Do you have a master's degree already? Because 4 years is a tight timeline to complete a PhD. Usually in my field (Computer Science) and I'm assuming the timeframe is similar in your field, PhD's take around 5-6 years to complete if you enter with a BS, and 4-5 years if you enter with a MS. So you may end up taking more than 4 years to complete. How would you fund those additional years? In short, unless you have a lot of money at your disposal, this really isn't a good deal for you, as you'd be taking on significant debt. In order to make this work you'd likely have to find a TA position. Perhaps you can ask the prof how likely it is that you would be able to find a TA position at CMU. Also see if you can ask current students how easy it is to get a TA. I wouldn't take this offer unless it seemed very likely that I would be getting a TA. CMU is a fantastic school for Robotics, so congrats on the prof's interest in you and good luck seeing if you could get this worked out.