fancypants09

Alright folks. After a few days of agonizing over the Harvard waitlist, I decided to take myself off of it and commit to UCLA. I realized that I would choose UCLA even if I did get off the waitlist. I know it's not the same as declining an acceptance offer, but guys, I just turned down Harvard, and it feels...weird but awesome. 

Dear fellow F15 folks (accepted, rejected, and waitlisted):
 

Respectfully disagree. There are two Francophone African lit superstar specialists in all of America: Christopher Miller at Yale and Francoise Lionnet at UCLA. Other schools may have stronger history departments, but depending on how big the Francophone aspect (and the literature aspect) is to your research, I don't think you can go wrong with UCLA (all other things being equal). 
 
Just my two cents. 

Personally, I don't regret having gotten my PhD. I think I would have regretted more NOT getting a PhD. And that's really what you have to weigh here. Would your life really be better without your PhD? Would you honestly have made more headway during the last seven or eight years without one? Because I honestly believe that if I had decided to not get my PhD, I'd always have wondered "what if?" And even if things had flourished in my professional life, I'm sure I would have always secretly regretted not getting my doctorate. But that's just my personality. I'm the sort of person who just has to know.
 
Okay, what the hell, I guess I'll share my sob story in the interest of full disclosure. I went to an average program (ranked somewhere between #25 to #39). I have a ton of teaching experience, presented at all the national conferences, publications (one major). Because I went to such a lackluster program, I never really expected much for myself in terms of landing a sought-after TT job. I knew it was possible--other people at my program certainly did so, but I never really thought that things like that would happen for me. Moreover, most of the jobs that people landed were in the hinterlands--rural North Dakota, for instance, with 4/4 teaching loads. The *best* graduates landed those jobs. I was always on the fence as to whether I would take a position like that or try to do something else.
 
I went on the job market my first year as I finished my dissertation, and it was pretty disappointing. I didn't get any interviews. I didn't even get any requests for more materials. Then, suddenly, something came together for me, and it was a huge surprise. I interviewed for and landed a postdoc. A major national dream postdoc with a fancy name and no teaching responsibilities. I'd applied for it on a whim, thinking I didn't have a chance in hell. Anyway, when that happened, I began to actually think, hey, maybe I can do this. Maybe I can actually go on to become a professor. My advisor told me that the postdoc was a golden ticket that would put me squarely at the top of the list for a great TT job, and that there was no way I couldn't have like seven interviews at MLA. Everyone actually told me this--other postdocs and people who had recently landed TT jobs.
 
I didn't have one interview at MLA. I had two phone interviews and no campus visits. I think my advisor was more distressed than I was. I was just like, of course this is happening. I do honestly think it's time to pull up stakes and move on. My advisor--and a few other people--have told me to do the job market again, and that this was just an extraordinarily bad year, and that there's no way someone "with my talent" could not someday get a job. But every year is worse than the last, and I'm guessing that next year will continue on with the downward trend.
 
The university system really doesn't want us. They're dismantling English departments as we speak. And unfortunately, I don't think that any kind of organizing or advocating will turn that around. The demand just isn't there right now for English professors. English enrollments are falling because people don't want their kids to major in English, and no one sees the usefulness of a liberal arts degree anymore. Other people here have advocated "talking about" or "raising awareness" about these problems, but we've been talking about them for a while. Unfortunately, we live in a very cruel world where capitalism has been allowed to carry the day. People here have accused me of being a neo-liberal; really, I'm a realist. It doesn't matter whether or not you believe that free markets are right; free markets, tragically enough, have been allowed to take their course. The basic fact of the matter is that there is no demand for what we do because no one perceives the English degree as having value. And yes, this is all a confidence/perception problem, but it's a perception problem that runs deep. We can't force people to think that English departments are necessary and English degrees are important. That might not happen ever; if it does, it'll happen because something external to us changes in the market. That's just the way it goes anymore. We used to regulate our markets, but we don't anymore. Our society used to set aside taxes to support English and liberal arts, regardless of market value, because it believed that a well-rounded education was a right. It just doesn't do that anymore.
 
Despite all that, I can't say I regret getting my PhD. I also don't think it's my place to tell anyone what to do with their lives. Getting a PhD certainly wasn't a terrible thing for me, even though my job searches were completely unsuccessful. I learned more than I ever imagined I would, and I published (a lifelong dream), and I wrote a dissertation that other people think is really good. But really, I don't think that anyone here has the right to tell anyone that getting a PhD in English will shatter their lives and destroy their dreams. That's making a huge assumption about how other people handle setbacks or how they value their education. Some people here might be coming from a much different perspective. Some people here might have spent the aughties pulling sand out of their ass in Afghanistan, so getting a PhD and launching an unsuccessful job search might seem pretty minor in comparison.
 
Personally, I'm trying to look at my failure on the job market as something of an opportunity. As I detach from the idea of being a professor, I've started to think about doing the things and taking the big risks that I'd always thought about but didn't have time for. I've also sought out career counseling. I'm trying to meet with ex-PhDs who can give me some advice for how to market myself for other careers. In a weird way, it's also kind of freeing. I've been thinking of all the things I DON'T have to do anymore--because there are always things about our jobs we're not wild about. I think, "Oh God, I don't have to live in North Dakota if I don't want to." At the end of my academic job search, I realized I was applying for jobs that I never in the world thought I'd ever apply for--5/5 load in the middle of hot nowhere like six hours from a medium-sized city and all for the pleasure of $29,000 a year--and I realized that this was the definition of insanity. The problem with this entire profession is that we have all indeed become slaves to this kind of market, thinking of ourselves as not having any choice in the matter, and as a result, our expectations are completely off-kilter. This leads universities to take advantage of us in terrible ways. To break this cycle, we really do just have to walk away from it.
 
Did the job market shatter my world? Kind of. It has been extremely disappointing. You do invest yourself in a vision of living an academic life. Worse things have happened to me, though. In the long run, not getting my dream job is a set-back but not a tragedy. The post-doc was what got my hopes up, not really the PhD in general. I am irritated about my program, though--it has a terrible placement record but still manages to recruit 15-18 new PhD students a year. I think it should really come with a warning label.

I don't get the 15th business as well. I think the schools could have a better way of handling this issue---perhaps shifting to rolling admissions as the professional schools have done. I do agree with kurayamino that many people are most likely trying to finalize decisions in the next week or so since many visitation days happened last week. I mean I seriously should not complain about being waitlisted, but for the love of humanity I would like some certainty in my life...

Taking the same approach of not committing until all results are in. Actually, my POI (who also happens to be DGS at the program I got into at UCLA) told me to take all the time I needed to wait and think about my final decision before committing, so I understood from his comments that I should wait and only accept once I have made my firm and final decision. YMMV.

I'm just here for the cheese dip.

Personally, I'm here for the Fonzie scheme.

Congratulations!!!

23 when I started law school; 32 when I will be starting my PhD this fall!

That dress has so much white (and gold) privilege.

Good lord. I've been around since the dawn of the Internet, and never have I seen a meme go crazy like that one has.
 
I'm going to start taking a zen approach to it.
 
There is no dress.

What color is that dress though?

Congrats to all new admits and waitlists!
 
Was about to go to work and checked my email quickly on the way out to find that I got into U of Toronto's PhD English program with a huge scholarship! 

I have been placed on wait list at U Toronto!
 
Edit for a little more info:
 

Just got accepted at English PhD program at Brandeis! I'm thrilled!

Hi everyone! I'm new in the GradCafe but I wanted to share that, a few weeks ago, I got admited to the Spanish literature PhD in UW-Madison! Anyone else coming to the Midwest on Fall 2015?

I just got an email from University of Arizona informing me that I was awarded a substantial fellowship -- Wha?? I haven't received an acceptance email from them, so this fellowship email kind of took me off-guard? I'm wondering if I should call and ask more questions...or just wait and see if I get further emails? What do you all think?

No dreams, but just a never-ending, nerve-wrecking cycle of thoughts 24/7 which goes something like this: 
 
1. I wonder when I'll hear back. 
2. There's nothing I can do. My applications are done, so I may as well just try to enjoy the downtime. 
3. But what if I don't get in anywhere?
4. But I worked so. hard. on everything! There must be at least ONE program that will see that and take me. 
5. Oh but what if there is some mistake on my application that causes all the programs to reject me? 
 
Repeat 4 & 5 several times before going back to 1 to start the cycle all over again. I wish I could just hiberate until the decisions came out. 

I'm not saying that you said adjuncting was "sufficient" or "just." I'm not accusing you of anything more or less than what you actually said, my only point being that the intersections of your various privileges were obvious without annunciation, just as mine are, as are anyone's, when I say pretty much anything.

I've mostly been a reader on this thread, but the sentence above does capture one thing I did want to bring attention to those who have kept the conversation going here. 
 
Privilege isn't some monolithic, unitary thing. Most of the focus on the lack of privilege in the discussion has been on socio-economic background. Yes, I understand that having or not having money is related to whether someone is privileged. And besides the whole concern regarding privilege, I understand that not having money has very real and concrete impact on what we can or cannot do.
 
But so does race. And gender/sexual orientation. And geographical location. To name just a few. 
 
I also want to respond to a comment earlier about how everyone shouldn't go into academia thinking that they will end up being professors. I think the problem pointed out by the recent Slate article is that there are people who do very much want to become professors coming out of "less prestigious" programs. It's one thing for those amongst us who are going to "prestigious" programs or have other options for income/career advancement to make the case that there is a choice, or for those entering academia with the goal of not staying in academia (which begs the question of why enter at all, but that I feel is another discussion altogether), but aren't we simply averting our eyes away from those who are really affected by the problem? If there are indeed viable alternatives to becoming a professor, I think now is a good time as any to begin discussing what they may be. 

Yay! I got into umich joint lit and women's studies!

Yes.  This is what I've tried to say before -- I understand when people say that TT jobs aren't glamorous or that the job market is hopeless or whatever.  But I still cannot help but think this.  I obviously don't know the people on this board personally, but all the people who've told me that shit in real life came from nice, comfortable, upper middle class backgrounds -- I honestly think those people will always dramatize the bleakness of a market more than anyone else.  They can't handle change.  Honestly, to me, no one put it to me better (and I know this will sound naive as all get out) than my advisor when she told me her attitude towards getting her PhD: someone offered us a living salary (yes, perhaps a modest one by some standards) to read books and become as educated as we can be.  She told me that her attitude going into it was that even if there were no teaching jobs in universities she could always go back to teaching in public schools or being a maid in a motel.  The point being, I've made a living doing some pretty unrewarding and downright shitty jobs and am currently working a job that a majority of people find undesirable.  And totally fine with it.  But I could do it more if I have to, and in my current situation I wouldn't even mind it -- I have no intention of letting myself get overly comfortable and "settling in" to academia while I'm in graduate school because I recognize that to let that happen is to let yourself get ensnared by all the contradictory bullshit of the academic pseudo-industry.  I can scrape by and have no real problem being a little transient and ungrounded.  I almost want to say if you have a problem with that, then maybe you should look into something else.  I almost want to say that I would feel more comfortable moving around a bunch or abandoning academia to use my education elsewhere -- or at least feeling unattached enough from the fucking system to do it if I feel like it.  
 
I do feel a little wide-eyed and naive a lot of the time.  I'm getting courted by universities I would  have never imagined myself ever being able to go to -- they're offering to pay me to read a shit ton of books and torture myself over intellectual problems, and there's literally nothing I'd like to do more than those things. A little over a year ago, I didn't even know that that shit happened.  I had no idea you could get paid to get a Ph.D. solely because a program was interested in you.  My only stipulation is to never work for a corporation again.  If I'm teaching public high school kids, or doing the day labor type work that I did in high school again, or bumming around between adjunct gigs, or working in a library, or joining the peace corps, I don't really care -- but the work you do purely for yourself, for your own edification ("cultural capital"), is something no one can take away from you except yourself.
 
That's why I hesitate to talk shit about any program or say it's "unrealistic."  I think it's foolish to go in to this with the same mindset as someone going to a graduate program to enhance their career.  Is it worth going into debt up to your eyeballs?  Probably not.  I'd say not.  That's me though.  But anyone getting financial support to get an education that they think is valid and they think will make them more intellectually satisfied (if not "happier") human beings -- I feel I have no fucking right to tell them not to do it if they genuinely think that it will be good for them.  What is there to lose, really?  That's for everyone to decide on their own.  The way I see it, if a system you think, hell, know is broken offers you money to do something you love -- take it, but try not to buy too heavily into the system that gave you that opportunity.  Which I recognize isn't simple, easy, fair, or reasonable.   So feel free to ignore me.  At the same time, I probably shouldn't be saying shit because I've gotten in to some pretty damned good, reputable schools -- yet I can't get around the feeling that this fact gives me no real "security" in the economic sense of the word.  In a way, I feel like having the opportunity to go to a good, reputable, "prestigious" school almost makes me more susceptible to getting snared in to a bubble of false security.  
 
Rant over.  Going to bed now.