fancypants09

Hello!  I've been a lurker for a while, but I figured it was time to come forward.  
 
I'm applying this cycle to mostly political theory, but also a few rhetoric programs.  My background is in jurisprudence and social and political thought.  I've loved reading about your interests and application dramas over the last few months. 
 
It's going to be hard (in the best case scenario of acceptances, obviously!) to choose between the two.  It may come down to a sense of belonging.  For example, y'all use more gifs than the friends over in the political science forum, which I have to say is a major draw...
 

No dreams, but just a never-ending, nerve-wrecking cycle of thoughts 24/7 which goes something like this: 
 
1. I wonder when I'll hear back. 
2. There's nothing I can do. My applications are done, so I may as well just try to enjoy the downtime. 
3. But what if I don't get in anywhere?
4. But I worked so. hard. on everything! There must be at least ONE program that will see that and take me. 
5. Oh but what if there is some mistake on my application that causes all the programs to reject me? 
 
Repeat 4 & 5 several times before going back to 1 to start the cycle all over again. I wish I could just hiberate until the decisions came out. 

No dreams, but just a never-ending, nerve-wrecking cycle of thoughts 24/7 which goes something like this: 
 
1. I wonder when I'll hear back. 
2. There's nothing I can do. My applications are done, so I may as well just try to enjoy the downtime. 
3. But what if I don't get in anywhere?
4. But I worked so. hard. on everything! There must be at least ONE program that will see that and take me. 
5. Oh but what if there is some mistake on my application that causes all the programs to reject me? 
 
Repeat 4 & 5 several times before going back to 1 to start the cycle all over again. I wish I could just hiberate until the decisions came out. 

1Q84 and WT---add me to the "not a spring chicken" list! Early thirties here, meaning that I'll be the same age as many of the professors (hell, I have friends who have graduated with PhDs and are now professors, in different fields but still). I did have professor friends who asked me if I were sure I wanted to enter the tenure-track seeking market at the springy age of forty (that is if I finish "on time"). But what kept me going were assurances from my former professors that they believed in me and that I am not old for this. 
 
I don't have a plan B either. I mean, I won't find it too difficult to keep a roof over my head and food in the fridge, but I've put everything on the line for this. I quit my job, I stopped "thinking" and "writing like a lawyer," I have spent thousands of dollars on books and articles in my intended field of study (limited availability of any academic texts out in Korea), hundreds of hours reading, writing, and talking to lit folks. Friends and family have told me it's now time to let go because I gave it my best. But that doesn't mean that I'm scared shitless of being rejected by all of the programs to which I applied. Not to mention that one of the programs is my alma mater (school and department), so a rejection from there would be all sorts of painful. 
 
I'm grading my students' finals for now so am somewhat occupied but being on break with family is somewhat daunting. On the one hand I'm happy to be here but on the other hand I just want to stare at a blank wall or something for a few days to de-stress, rather than having to force holiday cheer over the exhaustion and uncertainty of the future. 

WOW what a relief! 
 
BTW my last letter was officially in just a few minutes ago. Today is a lucky day for us *LOR-crisis-fellows*.

MAJOR UPDATE: All schools have now received his letter. YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I thought I had the waiting game down to a pat, given that I've gone through two cycles of grad school applications in the past before this one (for different types of schools/programs). 
 
I've proven myself completely wrong. 
 
I haven't gotten to the obsessive email checking. But I've been reading the websites of the departments to which I applied, and then trying to see whether I submitted everything that had been requested. Also, I've apparently been talking about the whole application process with my parents ever since I've been home for break. While they're willing to lend an ear, they've been commenting that I look stressed and tired. 
 
I can't believe that results will start coming around in a month. Given my former day job, I've always been the type to mentally prepare for the worst and always have a plan B---but in this case I've not thought about the worst (I mean, I have, but not in the way of preparing myself for it) nor do I have a plan B. It sounds silly but I put heart and soul into those apps and I simply don't have the energy or the willpower to think about anything else right now...
 
It's going to be a long couple of months. 

Terrifying...but exciting!
 
 
 
But terrifying...
 
 
 
 
But...exciting!

So...today is the day where we can assume* that pretty much every adcomm will start looking at our applications. I'm still more excited than nervous at this point, but give it a couple of weeks, and I might just be in a perpetual state of anxiety-induced nausea.
 

 
*Edited to reflect that I don't really know this!

No dreams, but just a never-ending, nerve-wrecking cycle of thoughts 24/7 which goes something like this: 
 
1. I wonder when I'll hear back. 
2. There's nothing I can do. My applications are done, so I may as well just try to enjoy the downtime. 
3. But what if I don't get in anywhere?
4. But I worked so. hard. on everything! There must be at least ONE program that will see that and take me. 
5. Oh but what if there is some mistake on my application that causes all the programs to reject me? 
 
Repeat 4 & 5 several times before going back to 1 to start the cycle all over again. I wish I could just hiberate until the decisions came out. 

For me, giving into my emotions and feelings is the best way to deal. I've just accepted the fact that I'm going to be a mess for the next couple of months. I applied to literatures as well---mixture of national and comp lit programs, with most of my deadlines on December 15. I'm a bit jetlagged from having traveled from my current home to my parents' but I've also been plagued by insomnia---I just can't get myself to sleep at night. Last week I couldn't get any sleep before 5AM, but I have to say I've been doing much better, getting tired and falling asleep around 3AM. I'm sure next week I'll be back to more "normal" hours...
 
If you're up for reading, now would be a fun time to tackle some fun/"recreational" reading. I've just started The Goldfinch, something that I've put off for a while because I was working on my applications. I also like wandering in museums and bookstores, or just window shopping sometimes to get some air and to get my mind to think about other things. 
 
I suggest that you also join the discussion in the Lit/Rhetoric/Composition section of the GC---there are a group of us literature PhD applicants there.

I'm resolved to get into grad school. I just hope some adcomms are resolved to let me in.

We are celebrating the birth of 2015 and of my beautiful daughter, born on December 18! Hope you are all staying relaxed and confident during this dreaded waiting period!

Hey folks,
 
I just wanted to wish everyone a happy new year...a year that, for some (or most) of us, will be full of radical changes, new directions, and happy relocations. While I personally vacillate between excitement and dread over the prospects of the next few months, New Year's Day has always been my favorite holiday: there's something about the first day of a brand new year that fills me with hope and optimism. And for this year in particular, that is amplified!
 
May 2015 bring all of you happiness and good things!
 
 

OK. So I finally broke down and went to the local bookstore and bought Murakami's Strange Library and Tartt's Goldfinch. I almost added Catton's The Luminaries to the pile as well. I think these two should keep me occupied for a bit...if I finish them within a week or two, there's always War and Peace. 

books, lots of books!
I read books for leisure and did not allow myself to read one scientific book... although I broke the rules by reading the madam curie complex.... but that was not on par with the typical scientific papers I read.
 
read books, read the new york times. I read how different hard ciders were made, like different hard apple ciders and pear ciders, just for fun. I still have the knowledge today but it was a fun and interesting way to pass the time. I also learned how different roasts of coffee were made and how the caffeine content varies between dark and light roasts. 
 
At first I thought " I am going to exercise a lot" then a month in I did nothing, because I was afraid I would miss a phone call from an adcom member. I gained about 15 pounds doing nothing. Then i started working out and was like "I am going to get in the best shape of my life" and I did! 
 
Enjoy the limbo time in between, you won't have many more opportunities like this in life.

OK. So I finally broke down and went to the local bookstore and bought Murakami's Strange Library and Tartt's Goldfinch. I almost added Catton's The Luminaries to the pile as well. I think these two should keep me occupied for a bit...if I finish them within a week or two, there's always War and Peace. 

I thought I had the waiting game down to a pat, given that I've gone through two cycles of grad school applications in the past before this one (for different types of schools/programs). 
 
I've proven myself completely wrong. 
 
I haven't gotten to the obsessive email checking. But I've been reading the websites of the departments to which I applied, and then trying to see whether I submitted everything that had been requested. Also, I've apparently been talking about the whole application process with my parents ever since I've been home for break. While they're willing to lend an ear, they've been commenting that I look stressed and tired. 
 
I can't believe that results will start coming around in a month. Given my former day job, I've always been the type to mentally prepare for the worst and always have a plan B---but in this case I've not thought about the worst (I mean, I have, but not in the way of preparing myself for it) nor do I have a plan B. It sounds silly but I put heart and soul into those apps and I simply don't have the energy or the willpower to think about anything else right now...
 
It's going to be a long couple of months. 

1Q84 and WT---add me to the "not a spring chicken" list! Early thirties here, meaning that I'll be the same age as many of the professors (hell, I have friends who have graduated with PhDs and are now professors, in different fields but still). I did have professor friends who asked me if I were sure I wanted to enter the tenure-track seeking market at the springy age of forty (that is if I finish "on time"). But what kept me going were assurances from my former professors that they believed in me and that I am not old for this. 
 
I don't have a plan B either. I mean, I won't find it too difficult to keep a roof over my head and food in the fridge, but I've put everything on the line for this. I quit my job, I stopped "thinking" and "writing like a lawyer," I have spent thousands of dollars on books and articles in my intended field of study (limited availability of any academic texts out in Korea), hundreds of hours reading, writing, and talking to lit folks. Friends and family have told me it's now time to let go because I gave it my best. But that doesn't mean that I'm scared shitless of being rejected by all of the programs to which I applied. Not to mention that one of the programs is my alma mater (school and department), so a rejection from there would be all sorts of painful. 
 
I'm grading my students' finals for now so am somewhat occupied but being on break with family is somewhat daunting. On the one hand I'm happy to be here but on the other hand I just want to stare at a blank wall or something for a few days to de-stress, rather than having to force holiday cheer over the exhaustion and uncertainty of the future. 

1Q84 and WT---add me to the "not a spring chicken" list! Early thirties here, meaning that I'll be the same age as many of the professors (hell, I have friends who have graduated with PhDs and are now professors, in different fields but still). I did have professor friends who asked me if I were sure I wanted to enter the tenure-track seeking market at the springy age of forty (that is if I finish "on time"). But what kept me going were assurances from my former professors that they believed in me and that I am not old for this. 
 
I don't have a plan B either. I mean, I won't find it too difficult to keep a roof over my head and food in the fridge, but I've put everything on the line for this. I quit my job, I stopped "thinking" and "writing like a lawyer," I have spent thousands of dollars on books and articles in my intended field of study (limited availability of any academic texts out in Korea), hundreds of hours reading, writing, and talking to lit folks. Friends and family have told me it's now time to let go because I gave it my best. But that doesn't mean that I'm scared shitless of being rejected by all of the programs to which I applied. Not to mention that one of the programs is my alma mater (school and department), so a rejection from there would be all sorts of painful. 
 
I'm grading my students' finals for now so am somewhat occupied but being on break with family is somewhat daunting. On the one hand I'm happy to be here but on the other hand I just want to stare at a blank wall or something for a few days to de-stress, rather than having to force holiday cheer over the exhaustion and uncertainty of the future. 

Such a great thread!
 
Mine are all over the map, but to start off, in no particular order:
 
My favorite Americans: Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Henry Miller, and Charles Bukowski.
 
My favorite amongst the Francophone: Guillaume Apollinaire and Albert Camus. Love, love, love these two. 
 
My favorite contemporaries: Haruki Murakami and Colm McCann.

Henry Miller seems to be my fave literary fellow.  Herman Melville may come next. I used to love Neal Stephenson. I just bought a copy of The Diamond Age which I read 10 or so years ago.  I'm looking forward to cracking it open. As far as poets are concerned I cant get enough of Langston Hughes.

Just checking in to say that I'm done!!! 7 for 7. Good luck to those still with pending deadlines. 
 
Now on to the two finals i need to give this semester...and then vacation starting this Saturday!! Can't. Wait.

Two apps in, two or three more to go! My list is a lot shorter than y'all's... *nervous* But OMG! I'm so excited! Someone could actually PICK me now - I've sent in the application, I have a chance!
 
Today was a good day. I think I did really well on my Old English final, and my favorite professor/main mentor told me the paper I turned in last week will be publishable with some revision and expansion. That a pretty huge compliment, coming from her!!
 
I've got three undergrad 20-pagers now that professors have told me to publish; one is my writing sample, but the other two I should really work on this break. The whole process of submitting scares me... I don't understand how one finds reputable-but-attainable journals, navigates submission requirements and deadlines, etc. It all seems very alien. At the same time, it would be super cool to have a publication or two under my belt - and I'm pleased with the ideas in my research. I guess it's a bit like applications for grad school. You can do your best to prepare and put on a good show, but you can't ever get accepted if you don't SUBMIT.

^ Congrats!
 
Is no one else applying to Columbia? Their app is due strangely, though thankfully, on the 17th.