AmityDuPeuple

I still haven't heard from Yale or Toronto, but UCSD was nice enough to reject me twice! Haha! 

For those of you who are thinking about reapplying next year, if you'd like, I would be willing to look over statements of intent and writing samples over the summer. (I am writing my thesis right now! Eeek!) I have been a writing tutor for over 4 years and love helping with statements of intent. Obviously, I can't guarantee success, but I can help you strengthen what you have. 

For those of you who are thinking about not applying again, I offer the same as above and encourage you to never give up on your dream. I know how vulnerable this process makes us and how much we want to give up sometimes. We can't. Each of us brings something to the table that others don't. Students need that. Sociology needs that. Academia needs that! Maybe we can be the generation of scholars that works to change the face of academia, making it less competitive, more equitable, more diverse, and more applicable to and accepted by the broader public. 

Being a literature person, I read huge amounts during the semesters. This was a very stressful semester as I wrote thesis, taught a class and attended a class, all while I waited for results on my apps. If I read, between packing for the move and closing up my house, it will be fun pop stuff that is stress reducing. I do have a class in the fall with Conrad and Jean Rhys that is similar to one I took as an undergrad so may pull out Heart of Darkness and Wide Sargasso Sea for another read. Whatever I read, I won't be analyzing it!

Personally, I'd read a bunch of books about the ocean (so things by Carl Safina and Paul Greenberg) and the environment (Rachel Carson, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Dorceta Taylor, Sylvia Hood Washington, Terry Tempest Williams, Linda Hogan). And maybe about the history of race in America (so Carol Anderson's White Rage, The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, etc.). But that's just because it's what I'm interested in but never have time to read. Also, I'd probably browse recent ethnographies because I like reading those but never have time to really immerse myself in them unless they're related to my research. YMMV obviously.

Political Order in Changing Societies by Huntington. I have read parts of it at various times but never got the chance to actually really sift through it properly. Which is a shame because it largely spawned, at least in part, my (sub-) sub-field. It's also one of those books that is a treasure trove of untested hypotheses that are good for project ideas. 

I'm in at WSU!  Totally freaking out/just cried when I saw the e-mail.  I can already feel the stress leaving my body.  I can't believe it!
Thank you all so much for all the support through this.  It was wonderful to find this community of people to talk to/bounce ideas off of while playing the waiting game.  
Best of luck to everyone- in or still waiting or getting ready to apply again next year- it'll all work out the way it is suposed to.

This is one of the better, infographic representations of perceived vs. actual "imposter syndrome."  I found it useful when I first saw it, particularly in keeping things in perspective.

I'm here to tell you a not so secret secret: 
Every last damn one of us is faking it 'til we make it.
Everybody's been here. I was at an international conference surrounded by brilliant people and I was feeling pretty good about myself, like, "Man, I've been brought into the fold, this is what it's about!"
And of course some other graduate student was there, too, and made this brilliant presentation, and then I ran screaming out of the conference, shrieking, "I'M A FRAUD!"
Ok, the last part didn't actually happen, but part of me thought about it. What's funny about this is that after the panel was over, that same person came up to me and very sheepishly told me how much they enjoyed my presentation and said it was so much more innovative than theirs!
Everybody feels this way, because we're all people with incredibly high expectations of ourselves. We wouldn't be here if we weren't. We can't see the peak, even when we're standing on it, because deep down, we all want to keep climbing. That restlessness is what academia is about.
I was four years out when I started my MA and am approaching three years out as I prepare to start my PhD. My advice to you is to read and write. I try to read a book or two a week, and I write essays on the readings. I also have discussions with people whenever I can--informal, impromptu seminars with former lit classmates. It gets your brain where it should be. 

I have to admit that I don't feel impostor syndrome as acutely as others. That's not to say that I don't feel it  -- I do -- but for my own part, I think a bunch of years of non-academic life experience helps to put things in perspective. That being said, I figured something out a few years back that stopped those occasional "impostor" pangs from becoming...more than pangs (pangolins? Hmm...). That realization (which I think is important enough to bold) is that when you are daunted by another's scholarship, you are only daunted by what that person is demonstrating he/she knows; what you don't see is the massive gulf of things that person doesn't know. There's sort of a double-blind at work in academia -- your scholarship is defined by what you can talk confidently and write confidently about, and not what you know nothing about. Psychologically, however, we're naturally inclined to think that if we don't know something that another person knows, our knowledge is somehow inferior...when the truth is that the other person has gaps in knowledge as well...just different gaps.

The moral of the story is that impostor syndrome is completely natural, almost universal, virtually inevitable...and fundamentally stupid. This big blob of grey meat inside our craniums is an amazing thing, but sometimes it works at cross-purposes.

Speaking as someone who has been rejected from all their apps except for ONE waitlist: TAKE YOUR TIME <3 it's kind of frustrating to see fellow waitlisted people tell all the acceptees to hurry up, despite the desperation and heartache. Even if I somehow get into this one school, I'm going to take my sweet ass time to accept because it's a huge decision. If I had more options, I'd take even longer. My cohortmate from my MA program just came home from two whirlwind weekends of school visits and she is so tired, I really hope she doesn't rush to make a decision as we're both scrambling to write our theses and finals which are upon us next week.
Just some cheerleading for y'all. I'm so proud of everyone's accomplishments!

Alright, just received an email from Yale to check website. Rejected, as expected. But they just make us wait too long...And now I am happy that I can move on;)

Well I defended my thesis Friday and passed!!  I have some edits but should be done by the end of the week  AND, the reason I got on here, is that when I e-mailed WSU to let them know I had passed I got an e-mail back from my poi saying I'm at the top of the waitlist (knew I was waitlisted previously but didn't know my position)!  There is still hope!  Anyways now I'm hoping that someone tells them no and hopefully soon so this anxiety can pass.  Good luck to everyone this week!  Hopefully this week will have some good news  

Thanks!! 

I don't expect that I will need much luck now that I'm in, just diligence, fortitude, and intellect, but not necessarily in that order. (Maybe I am a bit of a curmudgeon when it comes to ideas of luck. I just don't believe in it. Haha!) 

My dad likes to say that luck is when preparation meets opportunity. So I will work hard to prepare and put myself in positions where opportunity is sure to come my way. 
 

I just accepted Notre Dame's offer!!! I still haven't heard from from Toronto or Yale yet. My advisor told me not to assume they are rejections, so I'm trying not to. But the more I went over it in my head, the more I am convinced that Notre Dame is going to be the best place for me in so many different ways. Maybe I jumped the gun a bit, but I know I won't regret it. 
Now to celebrate! 

I just accepted Notre Dame's offer!!! I still haven't heard from from Toronto or Yale yet. My advisor told me not to assume they are rejections, so I'm trying not to. But the more I went over it in my head, the more I am convinced that Notre Dame is going to be the best place for me in so many different ways. Maybe I jumped the gun a bit, but I know I won't regret it. 
Now to celebrate! 

I just accepted Notre Dame's offer!!! I still haven't heard from from Toronto or Yale yet. My advisor told me not to assume they are rejections, so I'm trying not to. But the more I went over it in my head, the more I am convinced that Notre Dame is going to be the best place for me in so many different ways. Maybe I jumped the gun a bit, but I know I won't regret it. 
Now to celebrate! 

I just accepted Notre Dame's offer!!! I still haven't heard from from Toronto or Yale yet. My advisor told me not to assume they are rejections, so I'm trying not to. But the more I went over it in my head, the more I am convinced that Notre Dame is going to be the best place for me in so many different ways. Maybe I jumped the gun a bit, but I know I won't regret it. 
Now to celebrate! 

I just accepted Notre Dame's offer!!! I still haven't heard from from Toronto or Yale yet. My advisor told me not to assume they are rejections, so I'm trying not to. But the more I went over it in my head, the more I am convinced that Notre Dame is going to be the best place for me in so many different ways. Maybe I jumped the gun a bit, but I know I won't regret it. 
Now to celebrate! 

I just accepted Notre Dame's offer!!! I still haven't heard from from Toronto or Yale yet. My advisor told me not to assume they are rejections, so I'm trying not to. But the more I went over it in my head, the more I am convinced that Notre Dame is going to be the best place for me in so many different ways. Maybe I jumped the gun a bit, but I know I won't regret it. 
Now to celebrate! 

I just accepted Notre Dame's offer!!! I still haven't heard from from Toronto or Yale yet. My advisor told me not to assume they are rejections, so I'm trying not to. But the more I went over it in my head, the more I am convinced that Notre Dame is going to be the best place for me in so many different ways. Maybe I jumped the gun a bit, but I know I won't regret it. 
Now to celebrate! 

I just accepted Notre Dame's offer!!! I still haven't heard from from Toronto or Yale yet. My advisor told me not to assume they are rejections, so I'm trying not to. But the more I went over it in my head, the more I am convinced that Notre Dame is going to be the best place for me in so many different ways. Maybe I jumped the gun a bit, but I know I won't regret it. 
Now to celebrate! 

I just accepted Notre Dame's offer!!! I still haven't heard from from Toronto or Yale yet. My advisor told me not to assume they are rejections, so I'm trying not to. But the more I went over it in my head, the more I am convinced that Notre Dame is going to be the best place for me in so many different ways. Maybe I jumped the gun a bit, but I know I won't regret it. 
Now to celebrate! 

I just accepted Notre Dame's offer!!! I still haven't heard from from Toronto or Yale yet. My advisor told me not to assume they are rejections, so I'm trying not to. But the more I went over it in my head, the more I am convinced that Notre Dame is going to be the best place for me in so many different ways. Maybe I jumped the gun a bit, but I know I won't regret it. 
Now to celebrate! 

I just accepted Notre Dame's offer!!! I still haven't heard from from Toronto or Yale yet. My advisor told me not to assume they are rejections, so I'm trying not to. But the more I went over it in my head, the more I am convinced that Notre Dame is going to be the best place for me in so many different ways. Maybe I jumped the gun a bit, but I know I won't regret it. 
Now to celebrate! 

I completely agree. It is definitely more complicated than we would hope. And while it doesn't boil down to merit in every instance, in some it just might. 

I am a first generation, low-income student (among other underrepresented populations). If I go by some of the afore mentioned arguments, I wouldn't be pursuing my MA and about to pursue a PhD. The ironic thing is I have been told by some that the only reason I am pursuing advanced degrees is because I am a charity case that helps programs meet diversity requirements/goals. I am unable and unwilling to believe that I am only here to boost diversity. So while merit may not be everything, it has to count for something.

I received the same email today, it feels like an achievement just being waitlisted (it was my 'reach' school)!