TXInstrument11

The fact that you, and probably most of the people here, have assumed I'm a white male, or a male at all, probably from my choice of avatar, just goes to prove my point: you're stupid AND biased. Your judgments are made from incredibly stupid assumptions that have no basis in fact whatsoever. I don't mind pretending I'm a man in order to point out how biased you are against men. It's absolutely disgusting. You people need to open your eyes about your own personal problems. The reason I'm against bias is because I've been victimized by it in the workplace. But unlike most people, I don't think that reverse bias is any better. It's just as ugly. Peoople in a psychology forum should be a little more aware of their ignorant biases. I guess that's my own stupid assumption at work.

Hmmm....This might just be the case. Perhaps this thread will stand the test of time as an informal poll. 

No, you don't.
 
Source: Am in grad school (PhD @ R1 university), did not have any publications at time of admission. Also know/know of students who were admitted before and after me w/o publications.
 
Remember, graduate school is still, well, school. You're not expected to come in with a record as strong as someone who has been in the program for awhile, just as you weren't expected to know everything about psychology (or whatever) when you picked it as your undergrad major. Publications are a product of your research training, and grad school is where you get the vast majority of that training in the first place.
 
Furthermore, graduate programs want students who will benefit from the program, and vice-versa, meaning they're not concerned with what you have done so much as with what you can do. So it's true that having publications will help your case, because it clearly demonstrates that you're capable of executing the research process from start to finish--but NOT having any pubs doesn't imply that you are incapable of executing the research process from start to finish, and there are other things that might also reflect your ability to succeed in grad school (e.g., your academic record, your letters of rec, the quality of your personal statement, and whatever research experience you DO have*).
 
If you have the chance to get a publication, or publications, before starting grad school, by all means go for it. But don't assume that getting published is a prerequisite for getting accepted. I speak from firsthand experience when I say that anyone who tells you otherwise is full of crap.
 
(P.S.: if you still don't believe me, don't forget that getting published is f***ing hard. If grad schools only accepted applicants who had already been published, they'd quickly run out of grad students.
 
P.P.S.: For the record, I went to an obscure public liberal arts college--not an Ivy or some other "prestigious" school--and I still got in.)
 
*Listed in no particular order.

The GIF is perfect! I would have upvoted you, but apparently reached the stupid quota. 

The GIF is perfect! I would have upvoted you, but apparently reached the stupid quota. 

I also believe that the rep of your undergrad university does hold some weight. I had a professor basically tell me that because I go to a relatively unheard of state school, that I'd really need to stand out to even make it through the first round of cuts at some of the more prestigious programs. A friend of mine with lower GREs, GPA, and far less research experience went to Yale for his undergraduate degree and ended up with three interviews and an acceptance into three PhD programs for Clinical, one of which was Arizona State, because one of his letter writers was an ASU Psych PhD grad. This is all one big game, I am starting to realize. 

Oh gosh, I just had my first real fake out moment. 
Email from one of my programs with the subject: "Thank you for applying for admission to Fake Out Department" 
 
Thought it was a generic rejection email, but nope, it was a link to an applicant survey to "improve the admission process." The irony! 

LOL, yes to the soul-thinning part. I've worked retail before. Every time a kid knocked a perfectly-folded sweater off of a display table, I could almost feel a small piece of my non-existent soul chip off.
I also think I heard somewhere that academic researchers, out of all the professions, drink the most coffee. 

I'm currently overanalyzing a wait list placement I have due to the tantalizing but incomplete information that the head of the admissions committee gave me during a call. He said:
 
- 8 students were given solid admission offers (which is at least double what they normally do)
- on an average year, 2-3 students are accepted off the wait list (but obviously no guarantees)
- I am "within that range" on the wait list but I have no idea if I'm #1 or #3
- he "hopes that I make it" and that the process of deciding the 8 admits was "completely arbitrary"
 
I have no idea what to think aghhhhh the anxietyyyyyy.

Oh gosh, yes!  And even though it's totally stupid to do so, I keep comparing my scores with all the ones that are posted ("Oh gosh, this person got a higher verbal score and still got rejected -- I am DOOMED!" and "This person got accepted with that low of a GPA?  My worries are over!")  Sigh.  Human nature . . .  

Was that really necessary? We all have anxieties, whether or not we're accepted - I think, since the title of the thread is "Let's Overanalyze Together," that the OP has as much right as anyone to make fun of themselves and the application process. 
 
I, for example, pretty much feel like this every time I check my (empty) inbox:
 

Is that because out of all the professions, academic researchers are the most likely to also have to work at coffee shops to secure adequate income?

Yeah, you're screwed. I'm screwed. We're all screwed. Let's start a band.

I was a barista all through college and for 2 years following graduation while getting research experience. I had no idea this was a stereotype but it works--coffee is important. Everyday that I continue to work in service, my soul thins a little, which is impressive considering I don't believe in souls. Nevertheless, if you have no research experience you probably will not be very competitive. So since research is essentially a second job (typically unpaid and very time costly) especially if you become a P.I., coffee is the right industry for attaining this delicate balance. I worked as a supervisor at starbucks for 7 years and recently switched to a small local roastery (for my mental health and way better tips!).

What I hate about the email notifications is that around the time acceptances should be going out I freak out every time my phone dings.  And then I'm like, "I don't give a shit that there's a sale at Old Navy!!!!!!" 

I wish I could just be put in cryogenic refrigeration until April. 

Do you know if admissions decisions have already been made? I am interested in working with Dr. Anderson.

Note to mods: please don't move this to the "Waiting it Out" forum. What you do on your gap year is specialty-dependent [e.g. I'm not going to be working at General Electric or Siemens as an engineer to "gain real-world experience" any time soon].
 
Social science and humanities majors are famous for working as baristas post-graduation, a prospect all of us are trying to avoid, no doubt. So, in the spirit of conforming beautifully to tired stereotypes, what are some of the backup plans you guys are kicking around?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For me, in order of probability/preference, it's:
 
A - Starbucks + continue to gain experience at current UG lab     
B - Apply for a master's degree
C - Try to get into the Army Research Lab  
D - Break into criminal justice scene --- w/o breaking & entering, of course.      
E - Apply for a lab manager position at [insert Fantasy University of X]. 
F - Break into foreign affairs scene...somehow.    
G - Teach English overseas.
H - Become a social studies teacher. 
I - Starbucks + Target + a Demoralizing Sense of Defeat   
Bonus! Become a drug dealer. 
Bonus! Become an arms dealer. [cue Fall Out Boy] 
Bonus! Lose weight and become a stripper. 
 

 
#better-chance-than-grad-school, #starbucks-dating-tips, #barista-with-a-master's

Note to mods: please don't move this to the "Waiting it Out" forum. What you do on your gap year is specialty-dependent [e.g. I'm not going to be working at General Electric or Siemens as an engineer to "gain real-world experience" any time soon].
 
Social science and humanities majors are famous for working as baristas post-graduation, a prospect all of us are trying to avoid, no doubt. So, in the spirit of conforming beautifully to tired stereotypes, what are some of the backup plans you guys are kicking around?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For me, in order of probability/preference, it's:
 
A - Starbucks + continue to gain experience at current UG lab     
B - Apply for a master's degree
C - Try to get into the Army Research Lab  
D - Break into criminal justice scene --- w/o breaking & entering, of course.      
E - Apply for a lab manager position at [insert Fantasy University of X]. 
F - Break into foreign affairs scene...somehow.    
G - Teach English overseas.
H - Become a social studies teacher. 
I - Starbucks + Target + a Demoralizing Sense of Defeat   
Bonus! Become a drug dealer. 
Bonus! Become an arms dealer. [cue Fall Out Boy] 
Bonus! Lose weight and become a stripper. 
 

 
#better-chance-than-grad-school, #starbucks-dating-tips, #barista-with-a-master's

Note to mods: please don't move this to the "Waiting it Out" forum. What you do on your gap year is specialty-dependent [e.g. I'm not going to be working at General Electric or Siemens as an engineer to "gain real-world experience" any time soon].
 
Social science and humanities majors are famous for working as baristas post-graduation, a prospect all of us are trying to avoid, no doubt. So, in the spirit of conforming beautifully to tired stereotypes, what are some of the backup plans you guys are kicking around?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For me, in order of probability/preference, it's:
 
A - Starbucks + continue to gain experience at current UG lab     
B - Apply for a master's degree
C - Try to get into the Army Research Lab  
D - Break into criminal justice scene --- w/o breaking & entering, of course.      
E - Apply for a lab manager position at [insert Fantasy University of X]. 
F - Break into foreign affairs scene...somehow.    
G - Teach English overseas.
H - Become a social studies teacher. 
I - Starbucks + Target + a Demoralizing Sense of Defeat   
Bonus! Become a drug dealer. 
Bonus! Become an arms dealer. [cue Fall Out Boy] 
Bonus! Lose weight and become a stripper. 
 

 
#better-chance-than-grad-school, #starbucks-dating-tips, #barista-with-a-master's

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fWyzwo1xg0
 
This song just keeps playing my mind.... 

I am applying to UChicago. I just got a phone call from a number with a Chicago area code. It was a telemarketer.

"Subject: application status update

Dear xxx,

Your departmental graduate application status has been updated. Your application status in the department is now:

Under Review. Reviewers have been assigned to review your application and will soon be making recommendations."

Thanks for the heart attack to tell me what I already knew!

Subject : X Office of Admissions
 
First line of email: Greetings from X University! We are pleased...to have received your application for admission and we thank you for considering X for your graduate studies."

I had a panic attack a few days ago when I noticed I missed a call from a weird area code. They left a voice mail, and I was 99.999% sure it was from one of my programs. I was so nervous, by accident I clicked "call back" instead of "play message." Then I started to stab the "end call" option. I was ready to throw my phone like I was holding a live grenade, and this entire drama occurred in the middle of a grocery store. Finally, when I listened to the message, it was a friend that left something at my apartment on New Years Eve.